Ugh!
I feel so depressed, I'm not sure if I have a reason to or not. I'm sitting here crying because Adam was vaguely insensitive tonight, he wasn't mean or anything, jsut kinda said the wrong thing. And I'm just so frustrated with him and sad for him and worried for him I just can't take it. This whole time I've been always kinda doubting how I felt about adam because I've had feelings for other people and wanted more freedom, and now just when I'm at the point of possibly losing him, I realize that I don't want to be with anyone but him. I really do love him, and I know becyase if I didn't I wouldn't be so upset about this. I guess I just had a weird evening, I did something stupid and then got bitched out for it by adam, and I guess I wasn't really thinking of how dangerous it really was and wasn't expecting the response I got. I don't know.
I got my first rehearsal taken away from me, Don isn't sure if I know how to run a rehearsal, so someone else is gonna run the first one he isn't there for (and hopefully the only one he isn't there for) becuase he wants to be there for my first go at it. Which is fair, but it was disappointing. They actually used a couple of my ideas, it's weird for me to give a creative imput and actually have it listened to. I like it, I like it alot, it gives me a sense of purpose that I've been missing all year.
That was one of the reasons that I am so disappointed with my time at Cap, I don't think a single day went by that I didn't feel inadequate. I never felt like I mesured up to the standard, and that was hard because I tried so much in that program.
I don't feel good and I have my interview with Marc from the camp in alberta tomorrow at 0900, so I'd better get to bed so I have a little bit of sleep before the time comes. I don't know, I just don't know. I'm so out of it I guess.
I got my first rehearsal taken away from me, Don isn't sure if I know how to run a rehearsal, so someone else is gonna run the first one he isn't there for (and hopefully the only one he isn't there for) becuase he wants to be there for my first go at it. Which is fair, but it was disappointing. They actually used a couple of my ideas, it's weird for me to give a creative imput and actually have it listened to. I like it, I like it alot, it gives me a sense of purpose that I've been missing all year.
That was one of the reasons that I am so disappointed with my time at Cap, I don't think a single day went by that I didn't feel inadequate. I never felt like I mesured up to the standard, and that was hard because I tried so much in that program.
I don't feel good and I have my interview with Marc from the camp in alberta tomorrow at 0900, so I'd better get to bed so I have a little bit of sleep before the time comes. I don't know, I just don't know. I'm so out of it I guess.