things and stuff.
haha since I haven't really used this icon yet. Awww poor little abused Robin.
I should be in bed! but I had the chance to mooch on mom's laptop so I'm milking it. And finding myself... unenthused. That's a word, right? I'm not sure since my vocabulary is only allowed to consist of: cool, totally, awesome, stuff, and things. The end result is meh.
I'm glad I wasn't able to update this morning, though, cos there would have been so much angst to top most of the angst I've posted here since getting an LJ... *seriously*. Depression blows. I just wish I could have it surgically removed or something. I'll be retardedly cryptic and say that broken computer has become the least of my problems like whoa. I've had my suspicions for about a year now but today really took the cake: I may or may not have developed something akin to agoraphobia. awesome!
I don't feel lonely very often if ever, because I have ru_debega, and plenty of friends and people to talk to, and the billion characters in my head to keep me company but, I do feel alone a lot. Which is different I think. It's the feeling of having a problem and desperately needing help, but knowing that you're never going to get it... I'm the only person who can help me. And I just don't know if I can manage. I shouldnt dump my issues onto other people anyway, though.
wooooo so emo. distractions are needed, OK I'LL TALK ABOUT DRAWING
I redesigned Errikan's sword to something I like for reals and I have six new characters lol! But you can't see cos, broken computer. =( I would only post art lately cos it is the only area where I have any self-esteem left, for real. My two settings are drawing, and angsting, but you knew that too, right? And geez. I want to colorcolorcolor so badly but I CAN'T. WHAT IS THIS 'NATURAL MEDIA' YOU SPEAK OF? Maybe if I can find my prismacolor pencils I'll consider it, but probably not. Ugh.
lol I can't believe I actually used to paint, voluntarily, with WATERCOLORS. wtflol. so much insanity.
Since I've been only sketching and doodling I noticed even more than usual how I tend to draw people and things facing toward the left? It's so weird to pretty much ALWAYS do that without thinking and I have to make a conscious decision NOT to sometimes, but sometimes when I do it actually makes me uncomfortable to draw that way. What. the. hell. That's just not cool.
so there you go, an update for the sake of updating. yay!
I should be in bed! but I had the chance to mooch on mom's laptop so I'm milking it. And finding myself... unenthused. That's a word, right? I'm not sure since my vocabulary is only allowed to consist of: cool, totally, awesome, stuff, and things. The end result is meh.
I'm glad I wasn't able to update this morning, though, cos there would have been so much angst to top most of the angst I've posted here since getting an LJ... *seriously*. Depression blows. I just wish I could have it surgically removed or something. I'll be retardedly cryptic and say that broken computer has become the least of my problems like whoa. I've had my suspicions for about a year now but today really took the cake: I may or may not have developed something akin to agoraphobia. awesome!
I don't feel lonely very often if ever, because I have ru_debega, and plenty of friends and people to talk to, and the billion characters in my head to keep me company but, I do feel alone a lot. Which is different I think. It's the feeling of having a problem and desperately needing help, but knowing that you're never going to get it... I'm the only person who can help me. And I just don't know if I can manage. I shouldnt dump my issues onto other people anyway, though.
wooooo so emo. distractions are needed, OK I'LL TALK ABOUT DRAWING
I redesigned Errikan's sword to something I like for reals and I have six new characters lol! But you can't see cos, broken computer. =( I would only post art lately cos it is the only area where I have any self-esteem left, for real. My two settings are drawing, and angsting, but you knew that too, right? And geez. I want to colorcolorcolor so badly but I CAN'T. WHAT IS THIS 'NATURAL MEDIA' YOU SPEAK OF? Maybe if I can find my prismacolor pencils I'll consider it, but probably not. Ugh.
lol I can't believe I actually used to paint, voluntarily, with WATERCOLORS. wtflol. so much insanity.
Since I've been only sketching and doodling I noticed even more than usual how I tend to draw people and things facing toward the left? It's so weird to pretty much ALWAYS do that without thinking and I have to make a conscious decision NOT to sometimes, but sometimes when I do it actually makes me uncomfortable to draw that way. What. the. hell. That's just not cool.
so there you go, an update for the sake of updating. yay!