GOAL.
GOAL:
Debbi, a 50-year-old divorced New York social worker has come back strong after a six-month self-imposed man break. "I was never a dater; for me it was a serious relationship or nothing. I viewed every man as a potential marriage partner. I'm intense to begin with so you can imagine the amount of pressure I put out. Guys would run for the hills."
She has come to realize that her life works as is. "I adopted a child on my own. I'm happy. Actually I think it would be hard to fit a man into my daily routine." Nowadays she dates to date. "I'm juggling three men. I'm not sleeping with any of them but it all feels exciting and fun." She laughs, "I think the ideal is being a 'mistress' to an unmarried man -- you just see each other a few days a week so it never gets stale."
Dr. Kuriansky says, "Even if your agenda is ultimately to find the one, having a casual, nonjudgmental attitude toward men allows you to lower your expectations, thus suffering fewer disappointments. And you're more appealing than when you clutch."
I AGREE. I just want to work on feeling comfortable being alone and not having friends to rely on for happiness, or for the minute details in life that get me down. I want to be able to stand on my own. If men come along, they come along. If they're cute, they're cute. Thats it :)
I'm slowly trying to live in the present and not worry about the past or future. This includes thoughts of Dan, happy or sad. I'm not going to let then run my life. Who knows what Dan will do or say when I'm in Boston. Who cares?
It's the future.
Debbi, a 50-year-old divorced New York social worker has come back strong after a six-month self-imposed man break. "I was never a dater; for me it was a serious relationship or nothing. I viewed every man as a potential marriage partner. I'm intense to begin with so you can imagine the amount of pressure I put out. Guys would run for the hills."
She has come to realize that her life works as is. "I adopted a child on my own. I'm happy. Actually I think it would be hard to fit a man into my daily routine." Nowadays she dates to date. "I'm juggling three men. I'm not sleeping with any of them but it all feels exciting and fun." She laughs, "I think the ideal is being a 'mistress' to an unmarried man -- you just see each other a few days a week so it never gets stale."
Dr. Kuriansky says, "Even if your agenda is ultimately to find the one, having a casual, nonjudgmental attitude toward men allows you to lower your expectations, thus suffering fewer disappointments. And you're more appealing than when you clutch."
I AGREE. I just want to work on feeling comfortable being alone and not having friends to rely on for happiness, or for the minute details in life that get me down. I want to be able to stand on my own. If men come along, they come along. If they're cute, they're cute. Thats it :)
I'm slowly trying to live in the present and not worry about the past or future. This includes thoughts of Dan, happy or sad. I'm not going to let then run my life. Who knows what Dan will do or say when I'm in Boston. Who cares?
It's the future.