I go from writing to not writing in Live Journal
For some reason I can't write in this thing like a diary every day.
I usually write when I feel glum or some strong emotion.
If it weren't for Liz, Jackie, Sarah, Erika, Kim, I wouldn't have made it through this semester. And if it weren't for Jess, Nina, Becka, Nicole I would have definititely lacked a lot of strength.
I don't know how Jackie, Liz, Erika put up wtih me. I talked to them the most. They really are best friends to me. I don't think I would have been able to put up with me as much as they did if they were the ones who kept coming to me with the stories and emotions I did about Dan. It's beautiful how they love me. I would hope I can only pay it back to them, or hope that I never have to because they don't deserve any pain :)
So, it's summer. I finally made it. I got two B's. One I was happy about the other I don't know how the hell I got but I really don't care this semester was horrible and I'm glad I made it out.
I'm still learning how to not worry about the past/future, or just worry in general about dance or school.
I'm also learning to date my friends. It's not just enough to go to a drunk party with them. I am learning to: Do homework with them, study with them, eat with them, movies with them, maybe go out with them,
IM them, call them, go to a restaurant or get a drink with them, chill with them in their dorms. There's a lot more
than just getting to a party wasted with them. That's not friendship.
I'm still learning that I can't get into another relationship until I am positive that I only want to be with one person/that person. I've found that when I don't have that person I want them, want them, want them, but then when I'm given a choice, the little greedy hormonal Bonnie is like, "Are you sure?" "You won't be able to make out with anyone else, you'll be doing this shit with this ONE person for a loongg time, are you sure?" Time will help that I think the most. More likeee maturity haha.
I'm also learning that when I'm with my boyfriend, I have to date him. Going to a movie, or to eat, or sitting
on my ass with him for nights in a row and then courting him to a drunken West party is not dating. Think about
things you do with your girlfriends-maybe a nice restaurant, a gala, a museum, going to a bookstore, taking a run,
etc. I need to learn how to date my bf and balance it with the rut of movie/party/restaurant/sit on ass that most
couples do when they date awhile. It's important to balance both.
It's summer, yet I'm already feeling stressed. For example, I am currently working as a receptionist, and I feel that
I need to be registering for GRE
Studying for GRE
MTEL
Math test
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Looking at facebook is fun, but it's hard when I run into pictures with Dan. It's hard but I'm working on letting
the past go. It's done. I have my whole life to live. I actually was excited yesterday for about 1.5 minutes at the
prospect of being a 20 year old single girl.