(no subject)
Today M had woken out of the haze that all that hard work for the educationalist had created and decided I should be chivvied. But only a little.
It felt hard to get going with anything. I had been waiting for some free space and there never seemed to be any this week and then suddenly there was today.
I've gone through some papers and worked out some stuff. Like when freshers fair is, and stuff like that. It seems unlikely I'll get to go to the Ministry of Comedy event though as it's now under a week away. I dare say it's all booked up.
The whole thing makes me nervous. I want to do it but I'm scared. It's a lot of work. The ghost of my PGCE emotional breakdown is fainter but it's still a serious undertaking. All that travelling. But positive thinking is sometimes helpful and if I say I know I can do it, maybe eventually I'll believe it. I think I can do this. And I want to do this. It will be interesting. Even if I have to unlearn it all when I get a job. Which is one of the former librarians at the library said to me recently. Reassuring and yet worrying. I'm praying for no boredom. I'm praying for not too much stress. I'll be fine. I can do this. I did one degree already. That's the other thing that hovers. Deja Vu. Do I really have to go through all this paper pushing again?
But I want it. I want what it will give me. Freedom, a wide range of related jobs and careers. The ability to support myself independantly. To have a profession, even if I don't use it. I can do this. It's only one year. And you don't have to become only librarian the way you would if it were PGCE. PGCE, where I could see myself becoming only teacher and nothing else, no free time nothing. Just PGCE, and sleep when I could assuage my conscience. It's a bit of a thing that. Albatross or something.
In other news am being frustrated on the swimming costume buying front. There was this gorgeous one at the Bravissimo shop in ealing and I merrily thought I'd order the correct size from the site. Only they've stopped selling it online. I've found it elsewhere but not in the size I want. It's called 'Giselle' and it's by a brand called Footprints that does bra sized swimwear. But when I tried it on I needed a 36F. I can't seem to find it in that size anywhere :( online that is. They didn't have it in that size in the shops where I saw it either.
I may have to go back to shopping in shops for this sort of thing. But it was so gorgeous.
Incidentally the top that made me look like a twig, Feather, was the following halterneck
I'll get one eventually...
love QR
It felt hard to get going with anything. I had been waiting for some free space and there never seemed to be any this week and then suddenly there was today.
I've gone through some papers and worked out some stuff. Like when freshers fair is, and stuff like that. It seems unlikely I'll get to go to the Ministry of Comedy event though as it's now under a week away. I dare say it's all booked up.
The whole thing makes me nervous. I want to do it but I'm scared. It's a lot of work. The ghost of my PGCE emotional breakdown is fainter but it's still a serious undertaking. All that travelling. But positive thinking is sometimes helpful and if I say I know I can do it, maybe eventually I'll believe it. I think I can do this. And I want to do this. It will be interesting. Even if I have to unlearn it all when I get a job. Which is one of the former librarians at the library said to me recently. Reassuring and yet worrying. I'm praying for no boredom. I'm praying for not too much stress. I'll be fine. I can do this. I did one degree already. That's the other thing that hovers. Deja Vu. Do I really have to go through all this paper pushing again?
But I want it. I want what it will give me. Freedom, a wide range of related jobs and careers. The ability to support myself independantly. To have a profession, even if I don't use it. I can do this. It's only one year. And you don't have to become only librarian the way you would if it were PGCE. PGCE, where I could see myself becoming only teacher and nothing else, no free time nothing. Just PGCE, and sleep when I could assuage my conscience. It's a bit of a thing that. Albatross or something.
In other news am being frustrated on the swimming costume buying front. There was this gorgeous one at the Bravissimo shop in ealing and I merrily thought I'd order the correct size from the site. Only they've stopped selling it online. I've found it elsewhere but not in the size I want. It's called 'Giselle' and it's by a brand called Footprints that does bra sized swimwear. But when I tried it on I needed a 36F. I can't seem to find it in that size anywhere :( online that is. They didn't have it in that size in the shops where I saw it either.
I may have to go back to shopping in shops for this sort of thing. But it was so gorgeous.
Incidentally the top that made me look like a twig, Feather, was the following halterneck
I'll get one eventually...
love QR