And yes
My head is spinning somewhat with Bubblegum's news. Mostly I worry about her, as I'm sure she's guessed. I know what it's like to feel you need to be the strong one because others are cracking up. Been there, done that. Bad idea in the long run, but in the short term I guess...besides it's not my place to say anything. In some ways it isn't a shock like y's dad. I would, I would... have liked to have been there at the service.
But I'm gonna shut up before B gets anxious.
I keep coming back to last sunday and something I said to paintmixer. I was talking about HR and her being unreliable now she's not single and paintmixer was saying about why don't I get involved and serve her in kind.
"It's not that simple"
I said, or something similar with elaborations about people and availability. I'm not desperate to be anyone's girlfriend or partner, at least anyone specific, or indeed anyone. I just don't cope well with single friends becoming couples. I might cope better if I made friends with a girl who was already a couple. I'd be used to the whole thing I think. No point in thinking if only.
And then all this rubbish with the IM girls. I'm talking to them. Apart from the list mistress. Partly cos I haven't seen her and partly because well I'm not sure I want to. Despite being rather older than the rest of us she's been the most nasty in the whole affair, which icidently still has the power to distress me within a few sentences of discussion. Why I don't know. Except to return to my earlier point. I'm lonely. I think.
Found myself (silently)talking to the wind as a person as I used to at secondary school on the walks between the train or bus stop and home (work journeys). Not a good sign.
Anyway I'm pretty much alright. Promise. But I've got plenty of niggling things. I'm not crying into my pillow or anything. Promise.
Work is fine. And just as soon as flipping UCL sends me all the paperwork about my admission I'll be happy about that too.
love QR
But I'm gonna shut up before B gets anxious.
I keep coming back to last sunday and something I said to paintmixer. I was talking about HR and her being unreliable now she's not single and paintmixer was saying about why don't I get involved and serve her in kind.
"It's not that simple"
I said, or something similar with elaborations about people and availability. I'm not desperate to be anyone's girlfriend or partner, at least anyone specific, or indeed anyone. I just don't cope well with single friends becoming couples. I might cope better if I made friends with a girl who was already a couple. I'd be used to the whole thing I think. No point in thinking if only.
And then all this rubbish with the IM girls. I'm talking to them. Apart from the list mistress. Partly cos I haven't seen her and partly because well I'm not sure I want to. Despite being rather older than the rest of us she's been the most nasty in the whole affair, which icidently still has the power to distress me within a few sentences of discussion. Why I don't know. Except to return to my earlier point. I'm lonely. I think.
Found myself (silently)talking to the wind as a person as I used to at secondary school on the walks between the train or bus stop and home (work journeys). Not a good sign.
Anyway I'm pretty much alright. Promise. But I've got plenty of niggling things. I'm not crying into my pillow or anything. Promise.
Work is fine. And just as soon as flipping UCL sends me all the paperwork about my admission I'll be happy about that too.
love QR