If I wanted to circumnavigate the earth once, leaving a trail of poop around its entire circumference , I'd have to walk around the planet, pooping at a rate of 0.62538 inches per second for 80 years.

Sunday, at my study group meeting, one of the guys said that he knows a lot of people from Holland, Michigan.  It's because he lives in a Dutch fraternity.

In that instant, I was dragged back to that dark moment I face every time someone mentions "Holland" or "the Dutch."  What is Holland!?  And who are the Dutch!?  Does anyone know?  Each time, I ( Read more... )

kelsey8288 (12:29:15 AM): i farted
gundysrave (12:29:36 AM): you did?
gundysrave (12:29:39 AM): was it loud?
gundysrave (12:29:42 AM): will I hear it soon?
gundysrave (12:29:52 AM): did planes change course to get out of its sonic boom?
gundysrave (12:29:58 AM): did french citizens complain?
gundysrave (12:30:08 AM): did the mating rituals of whales get ( Read more... )

You know you're bored when one of two things happen:
1) You offer to wait on a customer who is in another cashier's line.
2) You write on your livejournal.

Have you ever said, "It'll be better when...?"
I don't mean to go depressed, because I'm really not. I guess it's more...hopeful.
I used to look at this thought in a bad sense--that I was never ( Read more... )

I just thought about resurrecting the multiple choice game. [You put A, B, C, and D scrabble tiles in a pouch and use them to decide what you're going to do next. It turns into a sick obsession and you end up wearing wedding dresses to school.] Too bad I don't have scabble with me. Shit. I could ( Read more... )

I need dynamite for the inside of my nose, yet I'm going to TOTAL BODY CONDITIONING? Why?
Why can I skip organic chem lecture but feel obligated to go to total body conditioning?
Why?

Okay, how the fuck did I do html codes in 8th grade? I can't figure it out, and I actually thought to myself, "Oh, yeah. There's codes for different colors." So I tried it, and now my journal is black and white.

Oh, poo, I'm sucked back into LJ ( Read more... )

The fumes open me,
Minty gum in the shower,
Soft warm bubbles lift.

An ode to pink ( Read more... )