Spokesperson
I have been getting asked to be a spokesperson for lesbians and gay couples a lot lately... and often by straight friends.
It's so frustrating because I don't want to be totally rude, but I also do not want to be the subject of someone's sociology paper, sorry. I'm not an expert on gay marriage, and in fact have many other attributes that have nothing to do with my partner or race or sexuality. I wouldn't mind explaining the legal aspects of gay marriage, since I'm a law student, but why not go look at wikipedia for your paper instead?
I guess I'm more inclined to share my experience when someone is having an actual conversation with me, person to person, not an interview, and asks me what I'd like to tell straight people who are trying to be PC or something... I don't know, maybe I'm just rationalizing answering a question like that... or maybe I was just feeling friendlier since the guy was a fellow half Asian.
It's one thing for me to write about my own experiences of my own volition, but to tell some friend's straight white male boyfriend about the intimate details of my life and the struggles that he's just abstracting for a paper... just pisses me the hell off.
Go read a book! I'm a person. This is my freaking life, not a paper topic.
And then, I tried talking to my friend who's also half Asian (different friend than above) about his experiences regarding race and he got so weird and defensive and totally dismissed everything I said as "the way all people are" and "in groups and out groups" and "there's no way to ever fix inequality, so why think about it... thinking doesn't do any good". The conversation just devolved into some weird defensive thing where he wanted to pretend race doesn't exist or doesn't matter... and then later told a mutual friend that I am "obsessed" with race. Somehow it doesn't affect him that people used to beat him up for being "Mexican"... how can race not matter when there is so much subjugation and violence that are associated?
Anyway, just some food for thought y'all. Do you feel like you're asked to be a spokesperson a lot? Does it piss you off or do you feel some duty to educate everyone? And have you ever encountered other people of color who refuse to acknowledge racism and their own struggles with race and identity?
x-posted to ethniclesbians
It's so frustrating because I don't want to be totally rude, but I also do not want to be the subject of someone's sociology paper, sorry. I'm not an expert on gay marriage, and in fact have many other attributes that have nothing to do with my partner or race or sexuality. I wouldn't mind explaining the legal aspects of gay marriage, since I'm a law student, but why not go look at wikipedia for your paper instead?
I guess I'm more inclined to share my experience when someone is having an actual conversation with me, person to person, not an interview, and asks me what I'd like to tell straight people who are trying to be PC or something... I don't know, maybe I'm just rationalizing answering a question like that... or maybe I was just feeling friendlier since the guy was a fellow half Asian.
It's one thing for me to write about my own experiences of my own volition, but to tell some friend's straight white male boyfriend about the intimate details of my life and the struggles that he's just abstracting for a paper... just pisses me the hell off.
Go read a book! I'm a person. This is my freaking life, not a paper topic.
And then, I tried talking to my friend who's also half Asian (different friend than above) about his experiences regarding race and he got so weird and defensive and totally dismissed everything I said as "the way all people are" and "in groups and out groups" and "there's no way to ever fix inequality, so why think about it... thinking doesn't do any good". The conversation just devolved into some weird defensive thing where he wanted to pretend race doesn't exist or doesn't matter... and then later told a mutual friend that I am "obsessed" with race. Somehow it doesn't affect him that people used to beat him up for being "Mexican"... how can race not matter when there is so much subjugation and violence that are associated?
Anyway, just some food for thought y'all. Do you feel like you're asked to be a spokesperson a lot? Does it piss you off or do you feel some duty to educate everyone? And have you ever encountered other people of color who refuse to acknowledge racism and their own struggles with race and identity?
x-posted to ethniclesbians