Painful
I've been holding off on writing in here. I just wanted to not think about the past few weeks, but I need to process and at least write them down.
I moved on Friday September 18. It was so hard. I did it by myself and had 3 emotional breakdowns, I felt so alone. Emily L. was there to help in the end, more emotionally than anything else and I'm grateful for that.
I chose to distance myself from everyone. I needed time to be by myself.
A and I appear to be over. It hurts. She is still going to Palm Springs and so am I. It could be awkward. I really opened
my heart to her and that was a mistake.
Christina has fallen in love with someone else. I'm jealous, I still love her. I don't want to though, its just the way I feel. We are both surprised that she has moved on before me. I still don't know if I want to be her friend, she still wants to be mine. I think its because she feels guilty. In that case I say fuck no. Life is so challenging. I'm so happy I'm in therapy right now.
Portland was fuct.I will write another entry for it specifically.
I moved on Friday September 18. It was so hard. I did it by myself and had 3 emotional breakdowns, I felt so alone. Emily L. was there to help in the end, more emotionally than anything else and I'm grateful for that.
I chose to distance myself from everyone. I needed time to be by myself.
A and I appear to be over. It hurts. She is still going to Palm Springs and so am I. It could be awkward. I really opened
my heart to her and that was a mistake.
Christina has fallen in love with someone else. I'm jealous, I still love her. I don't want to though, its just the way I feel. We are both surprised that she has moved on before me. I still don't know if I want to be her friend, she still wants to be mine. I think its because she feels guilty. In that case I say fuck no. Life is so challenging. I'm so happy I'm in therapy right now.
Portland was fuct.I will write another entry for it specifically.