Last leg
I believe I'm in denial. I'm aware of what I'm denying, so perhaps it can't be qualified as denial after all. All I really know is that in a year, my life will be turned completely upside down and I will not be able to stop it from happening. As I type this, I realize how little I actually ponder upon the finality of it all--my last fragment of sheltered adolescence. I stay focused on the minute details of my life as a way of avoiding the inevitable. It could be misunderstood that I never think upon the future and live day to day, but that is not so. I'm so excited for my future, but I'm even more frightened of leaving my past behind. I never want the people that make my life endurable to become ghosts.
Growing up is a necessary evil, but it is a painful and confusing process that leaves me questioning who I am. I can easily identify who I am around my friends; odd, humorous-- but inhibited. These people I have grown up with are so aware of my flaws that I have now learned to harness them and let my more "attractive" qualities show through. I long for a time where I will be able to let me hair down, enable myself to exhibit the violent and blistering passion that lies within my bones. Here, I am only a shell of what I could be.
I am ready to begin this immense farewell.
I am ready to explode.
Growing up is a necessary evil, but it is a painful and confusing process that leaves me questioning who I am. I can easily identify who I am around my friends; odd, humorous-- but inhibited. These people I have grown up with are so aware of my flaws that I have now learned to harness them and let my more "attractive" qualities show through. I long for a time where I will be able to let me hair down, enable myself to exhibit the violent and blistering passion that lies within my bones. Here, I am only a shell of what I could be.
I am ready to begin this immense farewell.
I am ready to explode.