(no subject)
I have no tolerance for ignorance. I never stopped to think of why I despised the thing so much until I contemplated the argument that broke out tonight amongst my family. The root of it, I am certain, is my father turning a blind eye to his problems that he in turn thrusts upon us. He must have low self-esteem, as I have inherited the trait through his belittling words that I have now become numb to. I am rising above it, or trying my best to, but now my sister is being affected as she becomes more aware with age and it exemplifies the issues surrounding my father. I don't want to be like him. I don't want to be like him. I repeat this in my head and I feel guilty for it sometimes. Tonight, during the altercation, I practically yelled in his face that because he doesn't respect himself, he is incapable of respecting us. He didn't care. He never does. He is in denial of what he has done to my family, and what he drove me to last year. To him, I am the most ungrateful and worthless person he knows. This is no assumption; the words have passed his lips as easily as he lights his 30th cigarette for the day.
No family is perfect. I have a wonderful life, but there has never been a person that has depressed me so.
No family is perfect. I have a wonderful life, but there has never been a person that has depressed me so.