nine | video | (batgirl)

[gravityfists]

[ a vigilante wakes up in an alternate universe, suits up, and is promptly attacked by the Vine. Batgirl's barely tugged her cowl back on when the mirror leaps out at her, and for the first few seconds, the transmission consists mostly of spandex-clad hands wrestling with it, trying to turn it skywards ] Goddammit, don't you know that I'm only

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[sansbaguette]

Well, I can help with at least one of those things...

[gravityfists]

... France. Hi. [ okay, calming down just a little ] I thought I'd dreamed you up.

In a non-weird way.

1/2

[sansbaguette]

I get that a lot.

[sansbaguette]

But that does not change the fact that you are in very big trouble, mademoiselle!

[gravityfists]

Well, good to know nothing's changed. (Oh man, she doesn't waste time, huh...)

[sansbaguette]

You upset my little girl! I am very disappointed in you!

[gravityfists]

(Crap! I didn't even think about that. C'mon, my memories are all over the place. I feel like I'm in the Matrix, or... or a movie that actually dealt with memory loss!)

Hey. Be fair! I didn't do anything. It's all the Queen's fault, or whatever steampunk god is running place nowadays.

[sansbaguette]

Oui, but you are easier to find and scold appropriately.

Now, I expect you to make this up to us. [Wait, France, how were you hurt by all this...] There are many ways for you to do so.

[gravityfists]

Okay, one, I can run faster than you. Two, I haven't even gotten around to thinking about what being back here means, because my head is reeling from being thrown across the multiverse and-ugh. Also, kinda rocking the whole Batgirl thing here.

[ pause ] Not too upset, right?

[sansbaguette]

Many people think they are fast enough to escape me, chèrie. They are wrong. Get thinking. And oui, I noticed, the spandex suits you. Turn around for me.

I told you she was a sensitive young woman... Mais, she is fine, because she is also very strong and has her maman to prepare delicious desserts for her. But that does not excuse your behaviour! A lover must be attentive!

[gravityfists]

No! No turning around for you, no matter how cute my butt is.

Look. You realise that I didn't wander into some cave and find a big “press here to go home” button, right? I didn't decide to leave. If people get to be pissed off about this, then I'm right at the top of that list.

[sansbaguette]

I know you didn't, chèrie, calm down. But even if it wasn't your fault, your absence still upset chère Canada.

Now be a good girl and turn around.

[gravityfists]

(Ignore her, Steph. She'll get bored and stop asking.)

I do feel crappy about it, for the record.

[sansbaguette]

[Oh, Steph, you poor, naive fool.]

Good. Give her a hug, a kiss and a night of passionate love-making and everything should be fine. Ah, your front is quite nice too, I suppose. If you won't turn around, I'll stick to admiring that.

[gravityfists]

I'm gonna turn around now. I'm gonna turn around, and I want you to know that it's purely so I can ignore every word that just came outta your mouth.

[ and with a huff, around she goes ]

[sansbaguette]

[Claps her hands.] Oh, magnifique! Ah, I see why Amérique adores her superheros so much now...