I never know what to put here
I talked with a co-worker and she said that when she uses her Ultram she adds ibuprofen or Aleve to it and that works. I tried it and it does! I am so happy. :) Funny how things can have a synergistic effect. It lasted me 8 hours though and that was at work where I'm on my feet a lot! The Lyrica is also working and I have less pain. I'm also a little more energized. I find i haven't been as tired at work all night as I usually am.
I had two really sweet little old ladies. One was 94 and going strong and one was 86. They were so wonderfully thankful for their care. They said we were taking good care of them. They both talked to me a lot and told me about their lives and their family. One wanted to hold my hand a lot because it made her feel better. The other almost cried when I told her I had to leave this morning and I wouldn't see her again. :( I really bonded with both those patients and it's hard to leave work knowing I won't ever see them again...
I was reading a book to Aaron called Bugs for Lunch before bed and he looks at this praying mantis and says 'that looks like a Grandma'. All I can think is that it's because the mantis was facing forward and had wrinkles on it's face around it's mouth. But I have to admit I laughed my ass off. Kids come up with the funniest shit.
I have to get new pics of the house again if anyone wants to see! The living room is totally different now that we've got the enertainment system and the really cool book shelf. It just feels so cozy in here and so much like home.
I am so damn torn about what to do about work. If a dayshift position comes up Jim wants me to take it and all the gals that left nights to go to days say they feel awesome and want me to come to days. But on the otherhand I love my nightshift co-workers and there would be a full-time Charge Nurse position coming open and they want me to apply for it and hopefully get it over another nurse who does charge, but does it crappy (according to them; I am never working when she's charge).
Actually, I feel pretty damn good about being wanted on both fronts, lol. I've always had a fear that people don't like me and they are going to see beyond me and find out I'm worthless of friendship. I know it's silly. I guess it's just left-over from the horror that was high-school and having ever popular kid pick on me. And my mom made me feel like I had to do stuff for people in order for them to like me or be nice to me.
I wish I could shake all this shit from the past. I know it's part of what made me who I am. It's taught me to fight for what I want, to be kind to people, to be open-minded and loving. Basically everything that my mom and most of the people around me weren't. But I still fight depression and anxiety, especially in social situations and when work gets super rough.
I want to be able to cope on my own, dammit.
I guess I'm a little angry about stuff tonight. I realize that other people have had it far worse than me and maybe my stuff is minor in comparison. But I can't speak for them. I can only speak for what I've been through. I don't go over it like I used to and find depression, rage, or sadness. I am through it for myself, it's just that it's all programmed into my brain and it's going to take years to make new pathways for my mind to travel.
It's like a well-worn path that no one wants to give up because the other path is rougher and requires more effort.
I try though. Honestly, all I want to do is be a good person. To do well by others and myself. I want to be the best wife I can, the best mom I can, the best nurse I can. I try to work as hard as possible and do all that I can. I'd like to think I'm pretty empathetic and that I'm good at anticipating the patient's needs. Most of all even if I don't have the time I listen. Sometimes that's all they want. I can get behind on my work because of it, but I have found it honestly is the most important part of care over all else. I don't always know what to say in reply, but sometimes I guess a reply isn't needed.
One of our nurse's sat with a patient and held her hand while the doctor told her she had cancer. It was so sweet of her because the patient's family wasn't there to comfort her. This nurse has such a big heart, such wisdom and knowledge, I want to be like her. That patient sent her a card and flowers. :) You can tell it touched her so much to get that; it makes the job worth it, it makes you believe in why you do it.
Sometimes I get angry that I have Fibromyalgia, mostly when the pain gets bad and the fatigue gets me. But then I see a patient with an autoimmune arthritis or other disease and I realize how lucky I am to only have Fibromyalgia. It humbles me and makes me take a step back and feel lucky for what I do have.
I try to be a what you see is what you get person. I've become a lot more open, a lot more direct. I've gone up to people and asked them if there was a problem they had with me and that if so, please let me know so I can not do it again. Why not? What does it hurt to be completely direct. It makes communication so much easier. Shying away from things is something I fight so hard to do now. I make myself do things that cause anxiety so that I can get past the phobias.
Aaron is so tired. He fell asleep so easily tonight. I think of him in there lying in bed sleeping and I just get this lovely warm, peaceful feeling. One of my co-worker's daughter just gave up her kids to her sister. They were 2 and 4. I feel so bad for the upheaval these poor children had to endure. She's moved them all over the place, left them with her boyfriend's mom for a while, then came and uprooted them again and finally decided she couldn't handle them.
What mom can give up their kids like that? I think of Aaron and it just is so unimaginable. I could never give him up so I can go live some crazy, free like to party and drink and probably do drugs. Maybe she had the kids too young and didn't get to do all the things she wanted, but so what. Once you have kids your responsibility is to them. You make sacrafices as a parent and it sucks sometimes, but you have to do it. Your kids deserve it.
You is a general term, BTW. It's not directed at anyone. :)
And randomly, I am a huuuge One Republic fan. I just love their songs. Every one they've released.
Damn. I've rambled waaaay too long. I'll stop now. Night Flist!
I had two really sweet little old ladies. One was 94 and going strong and one was 86. They were so wonderfully thankful for their care. They said we were taking good care of them. They both talked to me a lot and told me about their lives and their family. One wanted to hold my hand a lot because it made her feel better. The other almost cried when I told her I had to leave this morning and I wouldn't see her again. :( I really bonded with both those patients and it's hard to leave work knowing I won't ever see them again...
I was reading a book to Aaron called Bugs for Lunch before bed and he looks at this praying mantis and says 'that looks like a Grandma'. All I can think is that it's because the mantis was facing forward and had wrinkles on it's face around it's mouth. But I have to admit I laughed my ass off. Kids come up with the funniest shit.
I have to get new pics of the house again if anyone wants to see! The living room is totally different now that we've got the enertainment system and the really cool book shelf. It just feels so cozy in here and so much like home.
I am so damn torn about what to do about work. If a dayshift position comes up Jim wants me to take it and all the gals that left nights to go to days say they feel awesome and want me to come to days. But on the otherhand I love my nightshift co-workers and there would be a full-time Charge Nurse position coming open and they want me to apply for it and hopefully get it over another nurse who does charge, but does it crappy (according to them; I am never working when she's charge).
Actually, I feel pretty damn good about being wanted on both fronts, lol. I've always had a fear that people don't like me and they are going to see beyond me and find out I'm worthless of friendship. I know it's silly. I guess it's just left-over from the horror that was high-school and having ever popular kid pick on me. And my mom made me feel like I had to do stuff for people in order for them to like me or be nice to me.
I wish I could shake all this shit from the past. I know it's part of what made me who I am. It's taught me to fight for what I want, to be kind to people, to be open-minded and loving. Basically everything that my mom and most of the people around me weren't. But I still fight depression and anxiety, especially in social situations and when work gets super rough.
I want to be able to cope on my own, dammit.
I guess I'm a little angry about stuff tonight. I realize that other people have had it far worse than me and maybe my stuff is minor in comparison. But I can't speak for them. I can only speak for what I've been through. I don't go over it like I used to and find depression, rage, or sadness. I am through it for myself, it's just that it's all programmed into my brain and it's going to take years to make new pathways for my mind to travel.
It's like a well-worn path that no one wants to give up because the other path is rougher and requires more effort.
I try though. Honestly, all I want to do is be a good person. To do well by others and myself. I want to be the best wife I can, the best mom I can, the best nurse I can. I try to work as hard as possible and do all that I can. I'd like to think I'm pretty empathetic and that I'm good at anticipating the patient's needs. Most of all even if I don't have the time I listen. Sometimes that's all they want. I can get behind on my work because of it, but I have found it honestly is the most important part of care over all else. I don't always know what to say in reply, but sometimes I guess a reply isn't needed.
One of our nurse's sat with a patient and held her hand while the doctor told her she had cancer. It was so sweet of her because the patient's family wasn't there to comfort her. This nurse has such a big heart, such wisdom and knowledge, I want to be like her. That patient sent her a card and flowers. :) You can tell it touched her so much to get that; it makes the job worth it, it makes you believe in why you do it.
Sometimes I get angry that I have Fibromyalgia, mostly when the pain gets bad and the fatigue gets me. But then I see a patient with an autoimmune arthritis or other disease and I realize how lucky I am to only have Fibromyalgia. It humbles me and makes me take a step back and feel lucky for what I do have.
I try to be a what you see is what you get person. I've become a lot more open, a lot more direct. I've gone up to people and asked them if there was a problem they had with me and that if so, please let me know so I can not do it again. Why not? What does it hurt to be completely direct. It makes communication so much easier. Shying away from things is something I fight so hard to do now. I make myself do things that cause anxiety so that I can get past the phobias.
Aaron is so tired. He fell asleep so easily tonight. I think of him in there lying in bed sleeping and I just get this lovely warm, peaceful feeling. One of my co-worker's daughter just gave up her kids to her sister. They were 2 and 4. I feel so bad for the upheaval these poor children had to endure. She's moved them all over the place, left them with her boyfriend's mom for a while, then came and uprooted them again and finally decided she couldn't handle them.
What mom can give up their kids like that? I think of Aaron and it just is so unimaginable. I could never give him up so I can go live some crazy, free like to party and drink and probably do drugs. Maybe she had the kids too young and didn't get to do all the things she wanted, but so what. Once you have kids your responsibility is to them. You make sacrafices as a parent and it sucks sometimes, but you have to do it. Your kids deserve it.
You is a general term, BTW. It's not directed at anyone. :)
And randomly, I am a huuuge One Republic fan. I just love their songs. Every one they've released.
Damn. I've rambled waaaay too long. I'll stop now. Night Flist!