Weight, why do you bother me so?
So I lied. I'm going to update again. Work is going nice tonight and so I have time before I start charting.
Mmm. Weight. Weight is an issue I'm quite sick of, but will never get over talking about until I lose it. I was 146 after Aaron was born and have gained 15 pounds since being on this Mirena IUD. I haven't tried exercising (working graveyard, raising a baby, and having a life just don't include exercising yet), but I've tried managing what I eat (sorta) and that only resulted in gained pounds... somehow.
But you see, I can't just gain weight all over and be a lovely voluptuous woman. No, I have to gain most of my weight in my thighs, arms, and belly. Thus we have people asking me when I'm due. Since I'm a bit tired of it, I no longer answer politely, but instead said, "I'm not due. I'm just fat." I hope that makes them feel badly for asking me. Never ask if you aren't sure.
It means I've been hiding behind sweatshirts and sweaters, however, and complaining constantly to poor Jim who could care less if I weighed a 100 pounds more. Which should be a big confidence boost, but instead it's only a little one. Because I get into clothing, and I look pregnant. I do not want to look pregnant when I'm not, even if no one else really knows for certain whether I am or not. It's a LIE, I tell you. A lie. I am not pregnant. I am... fat.
The only thing good about this is the bigger boobies. I am a C cup where I was a B cup. But that doesn't make up for the fat belly. It's partially my fault though. Because I have a heinous sweet tooth that I try to control and fail. But the failure is my fault and I need to work harder at it. Which I am trying to do. But weight loss has been nill with this IUD in. When it is out, I hope the weight comes off easier.
Please please let it. And it's crazy, but I actually want to have real periods again. They never bothered me anyway, and it's weird to go to no period after having one for the first 28 years of my life.
This is a good time to lose weight too. The weather is warming up and I won't be able to hide behind sweaters and sweatshirts any longer.
I've managed to get my sweetooth down to just eating Nerds and occassional chocolate. I try to ask myself if I really need it when I pass candy and cookies and the like in stores. Jim is very helpeful too. I tell him to remind me that I don't need it.
Not only do I like it, but I think it's a comfort thing. Eating food tastes good and makes me feel temporarily better. Reading, writing, and eating have been the three things to get me through for a long time. They were pretty much my non-human friends growing up in the environment I did.
Knowing that and changing it, however, isn't so easy.
Mmm. Weight. Weight is an issue I'm quite sick of, but will never get over talking about until I lose it. I was 146 after Aaron was born and have gained 15 pounds since being on this Mirena IUD. I haven't tried exercising (working graveyard, raising a baby, and having a life just don't include exercising yet), but I've tried managing what I eat (sorta) and that only resulted in gained pounds... somehow.
But you see, I can't just gain weight all over and be a lovely voluptuous woman. No, I have to gain most of my weight in my thighs, arms, and belly. Thus we have people asking me when I'm due. Since I'm a bit tired of it, I no longer answer politely, but instead said, "I'm not due. I'm just fat." I hope that makes them feel badly for asking me. Never ask if you aren't sure.
It means I've been hiding behind sweatshirts and sweaters, however, and complaining constantly to poor Jim who could care less if I weighed a 100 pounds more. Which should be a big confidence boost, but instead it's only a little one. Because I get into clothing, and I look pregnant. I do not want to look pregnant when I'm not, even if no one else really knows for certain whether I am or not. It's a LIE, I tell you. A lie. I am not pregnant. I am... fat.
The only thing good about this is the bigger boobies. I am a C cup where I was a B cup. But that doesn't make up for the fat belly. It's partially my fault though. Because I have a heinous sweet tooth that I try to control and fail. But the failure is my fault and I need to work harder at it. Which I am trying to do. But weight loss has been nill with this IUD in. When it is out, I hope the weight comes off easier.
Please please let it. And it's crazy, but I actually want to have real periods again. They never bothered me anyway, and it's weird to go to no period after having one for the first 28 years of my life.
This is a good time to lose weight too. The weather is warming up and I won't be able to hide behind sweaters and sweatshirts any longer.
I've managed to get my sweetooth down to just eating Nerds and occassional chocolate. I try to ask myself if I really need it when I pass candy and cookies and the like in stores. Jim is very helpeful too. I tell him to remind me that I don't need it.
Not only do I like it, but I think it's a comfort thing. Eating food tastes good and makes me feel temporarily better. Reading, writing, and eating have been the three things to get me through for a long time. They were pretty much my non-human friends growing up in the environment I did.
Knowing that and changing it, however, isn't so easy.