Fic: Atonement, Chapter Three
Yes, f-list I'm totally going to torture you with this. I am in need of sympathy reviews. Speaking of... sillygirlnoelle, were you able to speak to the boytoy or am I going to have to poke him with a needle?
Title: Atonement, Chapter Three
Author: queenof1000days
Rating: PG/K+
Characters: Azkadellia, DG, slight mentions of Cain, Jeb, the Queen, a few OC’s.
Pairing: DG/Cain, Az/Jeb
Spoiler Warnings: Atonement, Chapter One // Atonement, Chapter Two
Word Count: 1,114; according to MW.
Summary: But if one were to look more closely, they would see that her knuckles are turning white and her fingernails are digging into the flesh of her palm.
Disclaimer: Disclaimer
Author’s Note: Angst and lots of it. It does mention the character death previously mentioned in chapter two. I thought I was done with this angst riddled story and then I was talking to effie214 , the plot bunny bit, she gave it carrots, and chapter three came out at 2:30 in the morning. The placement of this particular chapter is before chapter two but read chapter two first. As always, a huge thank you to alamo_girl80 , effie214 , erinm_4600 , and trystan830 for their help and beta jobs.
Previous chapters: Atonement, Chapter One // Atonement, Chapter Two
She is sitting primly on her bed, back straight, shoulders square. One would think from just her posture alone that she is waiting for someone to come and find her. But if one were to look more closely, they would see that her knuckles are turning white and her fingernails are digging into the flesh of her palm.
The residuals of Beatrix’s shouts still echo in her ears and the face of her would be assassin is intermingled with intense hatred and bone-crushing sadness. Azkadellia had dismissed everyone from her chambers - including her sister, whom Azkadellia had snapped at to get out. Azkadellia had known that convincing the people of the O.Z. would be difficult but she wasn’t expecting this. If Beatrix, someone she thought accepted the chronicle of events the Queen had sent out, could do this, then what about those who didn’t? What are they going to do? She notices that even after four months, the servants still give her a wide berth and this is not done out of respect.
“You killed my children!” Beatrix’s anguished voice echoes and Azkadellia has to bite back the rebuttal, the apology, the admission of guilt. Again.
She releases her shoulders just a bit and closes her eyes. She realizes that nothing she can or wants to do will bring back Beatrix’s children but the urge to try is there.
There’s a knock at the door and Azkadellia ignores it. The person out there knocks again. Azkadellia simply lies down on the edge of her bed, watching the knife fall from Beatrix’s grasp, one of the guards forcing it from her fingers. It clanks on the floor and it’s simple looking but Azkadellia knows it’s particularly dangerous. The door opens and her sister walks in, DG’s bare feet make a slapping type noise against the floor. Azkadellia doesn’t acknowledge her sister’s presence, not even when DG lies down behind her and places a hand on Azkadellia’s upper arm.
“Az-” DG tries to speak but Azkadellia cuts her off with a forceful ‘no’. DG lapses into silence.
The two sisters lay there in silence for the rest of the night.
Dear DG,
This is the night before my execution. It seems to be typical that condemned prisoners write letters, and I find myself resorting to it as well. I now understand why they do this - this is their final act.
Tomorrow, I am wearing yellow. Yellow, as you may remember, is the color of mourning in the O.Z. I am wearing yellow for every one who perished or suffered for the past fifteen plus annuals. Tomorrow is for them. Maybe with my death, they (and their families) can find some peace. Perhaps the O.Z. may find some peace or begin that process tomorrow.
I’ve known tomorrow was coming for a long time now; I’ve accepted it. When Beatrix tried to attack me, I fought against it. But knowing what I know about the people tomorrow needs to happen for them.
The day in the cave. Those five minutes which caused all this to happen. All of this could have been prevented if you hadn’t let go. There were days - especially in the beginning and the first few months after the Eclipse - when I absolutely hated you. I hated you for the fact that if you hadn’t let go of my hand - hadn’t gone into the cave; none of this would have happened. The O.Z. wouldn’t have suffered; I wouldn’t have suffered. You have utterly no idea how much it hurt to have the Witch overtake me. How much it pained me to see the Witch’s orders being carried out because I ordered them.
However, the past annual has left me with plenty of time to think and explore and discover myself. If you take two things away from this letter, let it be this:
I forgive you and I love you, little sister.
Please remember that over the annuals. I do truly love and forgive you.
I’m not certain if Mother will extend me the same forgiveness I’m extending to you. She states that she loves me but I can see the blame in her eyes. I’m not certain if I can forgive her either. She knew that there was something wrong with me from the week that we were at Finaqua to the time at the Northern Palace. But yet she chose to do nothing to save me and in my mind, she is the one responsible for the violent coup that resulted three annuals later.
The dawn is approaching and I want to be done with this letter before the time comes for me to leave. My heart is empty - it feels like it’s been encased in titanium to keep anything from entering or exiting. Perhaps this is for the best. I shall show a brave face to the O.Z. This leads me to a request that you already know.
I don’t want anyone there. Tomorrow is going to be difficult enough for everyone and I don’t want to add to it. I ask you to please not to show up. Be with our parents in this terrible hour.
My other request for you is going to sound strange coming in this form of letter but I hope you heed it.
Go after your Tin Man.
I can already hear you protesting that he’s not your Tin Man but he is, DG. I think he’s been yours and you’ve been his since you freed him from the iron maiden. I’ve had many opportunities to observe the two of you over the last annual and my skills at reading people have never diminished. He cares for you DG in more than a platonic way. I know you are definitely falling for him. So it’s not two things that I ask you to remember from this letter, it’s three.
I love you, I forgive you, and go after Wyatt Cain.
Writing of Wyatt Cain brings me to his son. Jeb is part of my detail and I’ve never worked up the courage to ask why. It may be because I’m afraid of what his answer will turn out to be. I don’t think I could bear it if was to insure that tomorrow happens. But he, out of everyone, would have the best reason to say this and that would just break my heart. I’m not certain of what I feel for him but I think it’s rather like what you feel towards your Tin Man. I regret the lost possibilities, of what that could be will never be. I’ve made my peace with that.
If tomorrow shall be my atonement, then let it be.
Azkadellia
Title: Atonement, Chapter Three
Author: queenof1000days
Rating: PG/K+
Characters: Azkadellia, DG, slight mentions of Cain, Jeb, the Queen, a few OC’s.
Pairing: DG/Cain, Az/Jeb
Spoiler Warnings: Atonement, Chapter One // Atonement, Chapter Two
Word Count: 1,114; according to MW.
Summary: But if one were to look more closely, they would see that her knuckles are turning white and her fingernails are digging into the flesh of her palm.
Disclaimer: Disclaimer
Author’s Note: Angst and lots of it. It does mention the character death previously mentioned in chapter two. I thought I was done with this angst riddled story and then I was talking to effie214 , the plot bunny bit, she gave it carrots, and chapter three came out at 2:30 in the morning. The placement of this particular chapter is before chapter two but read chapter two first. As always, a huge thank you to alamo_girl80 , effie214 , erinm_4600 , and trystan830 for their help and beta jobs.
Previous chapters: Atonement, Chapter One // Atonement, Chapter Two
She is sitting primly on her bed, back straight, shoulders square. One would think from just her posture alone that she is waiting for someone to come and find her. But if one were to look more closely, they would see that her knuckles are turning white and her fingernails are digging into the flesh of her palm.
The residuals of Beatrix’s shouts still echo in her ears and the face of her would be assassin is intermingled with intense hatred and bone-crushing sadness. Azkadellia had dismissed everyone from her chambers - including her sister, whom Azkadellia had snapped at to get out. Azkadellia had known that convincing the people of the O.Z. would be difficult but she wasn’t expecting this. If Beatrix, someone she thought accepted the chronicle of events the Queen had sent out, could do this, then what about those who didn’t? What are they going to do? She notices that even after four months, the servants still give her a wide berth and this is not done out of respect.
“You killed my children!” Beatrix’s anguished voice echoes and Azkadellia has to bite back the rebuttal, the apology, the admission of guilt. Again.
She releases her shoulders just a bit and closes her eyes. She realizes that nothing she can or wants to do will bring back Beatrix’s children but the urge to try is there.
There’s a knock at the door and Azkadellia ignores it. The person out there knocks again. Azkadellia simply lies down on the edge of her bed, watching the knife fall from Beatrix’s grasp, one of the guards forcing it from her fingers. It clanks on the floor and it’s simple looking but Azkadellia knows it’s particularly dangerous. The door opens and her sister walks in, DG’s bare feet make a slapping type noise against the floor. Azkadellia doesn’t acknowledge her sister’s presence, not even when DG lies down behind her and places a hand on Azkadellia’s upper arm.
“Az-” DG tries to speak but Azkadellia cuts her off with a forceful ‘no’. DG lapses into silence.
The two sisters lay there in silence for the rest of the night.
Dear DG,
This is the night before my execution. It seems to be typical that condemned prisoners write letters, and I find myself resorting to it as well. I now understand why they do this - this is their final act.
Tomorrow, I am wearing yellow. Yellow, as you may remember, is the color of mourning in the O.Z. I am wearing yellow for every one who perished or suffered for the past fifteen plus annuals. Tomorrow is for them. Maybe with my death, they (and their families) can find some peace. Perhaps the O.Z. may find some peace or begin that process tomorrow.
I’ve known tomorrow was coming for a long time now; I’ve accepted it. When Beatrix tried to attack me, I fought against it. But knowing what I know about the people tomorrow needs to happen for them.
The day in the cave. Those five minutes which caused all this to happen. All of this could have been prevented if you hadn’t let go. There were days - especially in the beginning and the first few months after the Eclipse - when I absolutely hated you. I hated you for the fact that if you hadn’t let go of my hand - hadn’t gone into the cave; none of this would have happened. The O.Z. wouldn’t have suffered; I wouldn’t have suffered. You have utterly no idea how much it hurt to have the Witch overtake me. How much it pained me to see the Witch’s orders being carried out because I ordered them.
However, the past annual has left me with plenty of time to think and explore and discover myself. If you take two things away from this letter, let it be this:
I forgive you and I love you, little sister.
Please remember that over the annuals. I do truly love and forgive you.
I’m not certain if Mother will extend me the same forgiveness I’m extending to you. She states that she loves me but I can see the blame in her eyes. I’m not certain if I can forgive her either. She knew that there was something wrong with me from the week that we were at Finaqua to the time at the Northern Palace. But yet she chose to do nothing to save me and in my mind, she is the one responsible for the violent coup that resulted three annuals later.
The dawn is approaching and I want to be done with this letter before the time comes for me to leave. My heart is empty - it feels like it’s been encased in titanium to keep anything from entering or exiting. Perhaps this is for the best. I shall show a brave face to the O.Z. This leads me to a request that you already know.
I don’t want anyone there. Tomorrow is going to be difficult enough for everyone and I don’t want to add to it. I ask you to please not to show up. Be with our parents in this terrible hour.
My other request for you is going to sound strange coming in this form of letter but I hope you heed it.
Go after your Tin Man.
I can already hear you protesting that he’s not your Tin Man but he is, DG. I think he’s been yours and you’ve been his since you freed him from the iron maiden. I’ve had many opportunities to observe the two of you over the last annual and my skills at reading people have never diminished. He cares for you DG in more than a platonic way. I know you are definitely falling for him. So it’s not two things that I ask you to remember from this letter, it’s three.
I love you, I forgive you, and go after Wyatt Cain.
Writing of Wyatt Cain brings me to his son. Jeb is part of my detail and I’ve never worked up the courage to ask why. It may be because I’m afraid of what his answer will turn out to be. I don’t think I could bear it if was to insure that tomorrow happens. But he, out of everyone, would have the best reason to say this and that would just break my heart. I’m not certain of what I feel for him but I think it’s rather like what you feel towards your Tin Man. I regret the lost possibilities, of what that could be will never be. I’ve made my peace with that.
If tomorrow shall be my atonement, then let it be.
Azkadellia