pitfall #347: sometimes I get confused about what the word "sub" means in fic.

[queenklu]

(( Though I do think it'd be hilarious in a fic if Character A said he's subbing for a living and Character B says, "Oh wow, that must be hard," and A says, "Well, some days that's kind of the point, you know?" and B goes, "...okay, I can see that, I guess." And this entire conversation happens and neither one knows there's a misunderstanding. Yes. ))

So today I woke up at 6:30AM for a job at 7AM across town (I pack everything before I go to bed, to maximize on sleep time), and I got there...and the school was locked. Because it's an inservice day, which I knew, but the job I'd taken was for a registrar and I figured she'd know whether she needed a sub or not, right?

Drove home. Checked the sub website. Little box popped up letting me know the job had been canceled...at 4:46AM.

I wrote her a strongly worded (but not scathing) email telling her to please be more conscientious in the future towards whoever she gets to sub for her, stating flat out that whoever it was wouldn't be me.

Subs have to put up with a lot of shit--from students, yes, but also sometimes from staff, more the people at the front office than other teachers, but still.

In fact, why don't I make a list:

• often don't know if I have a job until late the night before or hellishly early the morning of. This means a constant tug-of-war between staying up late hoping for a job and going to bed early hoping for a call.
• can be dropped without warning or even solid notification--unless we log into the site we aren't told whether the job is cancelled or not. Cancellation, as far as I know, can happen at any point before the work day starts. Even by a minute.
• website doesn't tell you what grade or subject you'll be subbing for, as if this doesn't factor into consideration. I mean, there's no real difference between first grade and 10th, right?
• teachers have trained their students to react to certain key phrases or complicated hand gestures that mean "quiet the fuck down and get to work." Most of the time, they do not tell you in their sub notes what those phrases are. Because you should just know them! Doesn't everyone use a Y-board and the Step Program?*
• *Elementary teachers are BY FAR the worst at this. They have so much to remember they completely forget that not everyone knows when they write "messages" with no explanation what the fuck that means.
• slightest slip-up of the routine? the kids scent blood in the water, and it's going to be hell getting them back on course.
• teachers know enough about the subject they're teaching to talk at length about it--obviously. YOU DO NOT. So suddenly there's 20 minutes you have to fill or the kids will start eating each other. Merry Christmas.
• prepare to eat alone. Just. It's honestly better this way. Teachers get the break room to rant about their day and they don't have to worry about sounding harsh in front of an outsider. Also, it's best not to be That Sub who uses lunch time to network, get out of their faces and let them eat and rant. (also, even if a teacher says, "You know you can eat in the teacher's lounge," you'll notice they never tell you where the damn place is located, so be sure to bring cold lunches that don't need a microwave.)
• prepare to hear the same dumb jokes about your last  name. over and over. every kid will assume they are a comedic genius. deadpan 'em. most kids do not expect sarcasm from authority figures, it is your greatest weapon.

And now, before I decide to quit my job and become a hobo, GOOD THINGS:

• money
• flexible schedule--i have to talk to no one about leaving for Disneyland, just enter non-work dates online so I don't get called.
• as bad as any day can be, it is only one day.
• never get bored!
• eat lunch alone, reading fic to cleanse brain
• sometimes teachers have free period and you get to read more fic
• sometimes kids take test and you can read yet more fic, for $16 an hour, as long as you look up periodically to check the precious angels aren't being squirrelly
• sometimes the kids are kind of cute. like, there are moments, and you could see why someone would do this for a living
• maybe you make difference in kid's life?? who knows