f u c k w i t t e r y

[queenklu]

I'm sorry I've been so lazy about posts this week--Tuesday sucked so bad I was too exhausted to talk about it. And it felt too whiney, but...what is lj for if not for whining? So shit that went wrong on Tuesday:

• Got lost on way to job at a high school 20mins drive away, had to call home and have them google it because I don't have a smart phone!*
• Got to school 5mins late, but they want you there a half hour before school even starts so no biggie! Except--
• They had canceled the job! Because! Standardized testing! They had too many subs! OR SOMETHING!
• Decided while I was out I could go pick up some groceries on the way home. Was parked at Walmart before I realized I'd FORGOTTEN MY WALLET AT HOME.
• Gave up. Drove home. Got wallet. Checked website just in case--found job! For librarian! At an elementary school! Should be nice and easy!
• Not. Easy.
• Because of standardized testing, I couldn't stay in the library because there were students taking tests. Which meant I had to go around to each of the classrooms. Carrying all the Stuff.
• No one had a school map. The principal literally had to photocopy her own personal map for me to use.
• I had to teach NET ETIQUETTE ("NETIQUETTE") to KINDERGARTENERS and SECOND GRADERS. (WHO is letting their FIVE YEAR OLD ONLINE?).
• and COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SHIT to FIRST GRADERS, THE SPAWN OF THE EARTH.
• (I swear to fucking god. What is it about first graders. Hellbeast puppies on CRACK.)
• 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders in computer classes the last half of the day. Kids tattling on each other for playings slightly different educational games that the ones they're supposed to be playing. Me bargaining for dead silence by the last class by telling them they could google pictures of mustaches. KIDS ARE FREAKING WEIRD.

Oh before I forget, kindergartener A was chasing kindergartener B and when kid B turned around with a pair of child-scissors in her hands kid A shoved his hand between the blades and sliced his finger open. Cue nuclear meltdown for kid A. The teacher later told me that with these kids she wouldn't have been surprised if A had told B to cut his finger and she did it. ....yayyy

And then I accidentally said I'd be able to sub the next day too. But I sat myself down and took a look at my mental state and the schedule and realized it would be another day of Exactly The Same Shit and I bowed out. The principal didn't mind, and the one (1) perk of this job is that I do not have to take a job that makes me want to punch myself in the face just thinking about.

Sooooo yes. YUP! That was my tuesday.

*my phone is actually as dumb as they come, it doesn't even take pictures.