don't think twice it's alright
Week two of subitude! ...almost. Tomorrow I have a gig lined up back at my old high school again. This time I will try to eat lunch in the teacher's lounge like a human in order to drum up contacts so people will hire me directly. (Wow, fuck it, no I think I'm going to hide again because even imagining it made my stomach start to cramp. I HAVEN'T SEEN THESE PEOPLE SINCE I GRADUATED ugh ugh u g h)
Increasingly annoyed with a system that doesn't allow me to know how long I get to sleep in. And if I DO get a call, all they give me is the teacher's name and the school, not the subject or grade that they teach, so I could/am expected to walk into a situation completely blind and might find myself teaching astrophysics to 1st graders! GREAT.
Even the website doesn't tell me grade/subject--I have to scramble to google the teacher to find that shit out before clicking yes. Actually, FINALLY, today they fixed mine so I'll be able to cancel jobs if I have to (which means clicking yes to everything, googling like the wind, and then releasing into the wild if need be.)
Only worked Tuesday and Wednesday this week, and not even full days (though I've discovered 3rd graders seem to be human beings, unlike 1st who are demon puppies). But oh my fucking god, elementary teachers speak this WHOLE OTHER LANGUAGE they expect you to understand with a million unwritten rules/guidelines that they live every single day so why would they bother remembering to write it down? RRRGH.
But. On the Weird Shit Kids Say front, I did wind up with this moment:
7th grade girl: What color is your hair supposed to be? Red or brown?
Me: What do you mean 'supposed to be?' It's just my hair.
girl: Well I like it and it's very pretty.
Me: ...thank you.
And then with the third graders--they were taking a test, but I had a boy and a girl using the restroom, and the girl was taking a long time so I sent another girl in after her and suddenly the second girl come RUNNING back into the room and whisper-shouts at me:
Girl2: THERE'S A CRICKET IN THE HALL
And then DASHES OFF.
So I'm like, "Uh, wait, come back," and follow her out into the hall, where I see all three of my kids standing in a circle around a cricket, with a teacher, who then proceeds to stomp the cricket to death. Apparently one got loose when she was feeding her fish. IDEFK.
Speaking of killing things in front of small impressionable children, I had to read a chapter of Where the Red Fern Grows to them during reading time. I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS BOOK IS STILL CONSIDERED A KID'S BOOK, I AM SO ANGRY AND UPSET THAT IN A FEW SHORT WEEKS THESE KIDS ARE GOING TO HEAR ABOUT HOW THE MAIN CHARACTER'S DOG'S INTESTINES GET RIPPED OUT AND CAUGHT ON A BUSH AND THE DOG IS STILL ALIVE AND THE BOY HAS TO CARRY HIS BELOVED DOG HOME DYING IN HIS ARMS AND THEN THE OTHER DOG GETS TORN TO PIECES IN A DOG FIGHT AND I JUST.
FUCKING. RED FERN.
In FANNISH things I've done this week, just in case you didn't catch them, I wrote a few Vikings (and an Eagle) drabbles on tumblr and put them up here on AO3, if you're interested! And I added a little bit more to the nanny au today here!
*collapses* How you doin' bbs?
Increasingly annoyed with a system that doesn't allow me to know how long I get to sleep in. And if I DO get a call, all they give me is the teacher's name and the school, not the subject or grade that they teach, so I could/am expected to walk into a situation completely blind and might find myself teaching astrophysics to 1st graders! GREAT.
Even the website doesn't tell me grade/subject--I have to scramble to google the teacher to find that shit out before clicking yes. Actually, FINALLY, today they fixed mine so I'll be able to cancel jobs if I have to (which means clicking yes to everything, googling like the wind, and then releasing into the wild if need be.)
Only worked Tuesday and Wednesday this week, and not even full days (though I've discovered 3rd graders seem to be human beings, unlike 1st who are demon puppies). But oh my fucking god, elementary teachers speak this WHOLE OTHER LANGUAGE they expect you to understand with a million unwritten rules/guidelines that they live every single day so why would they bother remembering to write it down? RRRGH.
But. On the Weird Shit Kids Say front, I did wind up with this moment:
7th grade girl: What color is your hair supposed to be? Red or brown?
Me: What do you mean 'supposed to be?' It's just my hair.
girl: Well I like it and it's very pretty.
Me: ...thank you.
And then with the third graders--they were taking a test, but I had a boy and a girl using the restroom, and the girl was taking a long time so I sent another girl in after her and suddenly the second girl come RUNNING back into the room and whisper-shouts at me:
Girl2: THERE'S A CRICKET IN THE HALL
And then DASHES OFF.
So I'm like, "Uh, wait, come back," and follow her out into the hall, where I see all three of my kids standing in a circle around a cricket, with a teacher, who then proceeds to stomp the cricket to death. Apparently one got loose when she was feeding her fish. IDEFK.
Speaking of killing things in front of small impressionable children, I had to read a chapter of Where the Red Fern Grows to them during reading time. I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS BOOK IS STILL CONSIDERED A KID'S BOOK, I AM SO ANGRY AND UPSET THAT IN A FEW SHORT WEEKS THESE KIDS ARE GOING TO HEAR ABOUT HOW THE MAIN CHARACTER'S DOG'S INTESTINES GET RIPPED OUT AND CAUGHT ON A BUSH AND THE DOG IS STILL ALIVE AND THE BOY HAS TO CARRY HIS BELOVED DOG HOME DYING IN HIS ARMS AND THEN THE OTHER DOG GETS TORN TO PIECES IN A DOG FIGHT AND I JUST.
FUCKING. RED FERN.
In FANNISH things I've done this week, just in case you didn't catch them, I wrote a few Vikings (and an Eagle) drabbles on tumblr and put them up here on AO3, if you're interested! And I added a little bit more to the nanny au today here!
*collapses* How you doin' bbs?