no one wants your presents, gawd

Apr 07, 2012 16:05

Happy Day Before Easter Bitches,

~~THREE INCHES OF SNOW~~

xoxo,
 Mother Nature

...This is not the first time we have hunted uncolored easter eggs. In fact, it makes them harder to find in the snowbanks!* :DD

In other news, I'm trying really hard to refrain from snapping at people/biting their heads off/feeling unreasonably offended by things they say/ripping Stanley out of my own eyeball with my bare hands--with varying degrees of success. I realize I am not the only stressed person in this household, but when you ask me what I want for my birthday, then list the items by cost and/or tell me why it's a stupid idea, what I have already is perfectly adequate, then... They were just ideas. I don't know what they want me to ask for.

I'm really not asking for big things, like an iphone or a convention ticket or a pet elephant. But a phone that takes pictures might be a fun change of pace. Idk. I never know what to ask for! A job with steady pay and benefits after I graduate? A flawless, Prince Charming-esque boyfriend? A day spent hanging out with Jeremy Renner throwing spitballs at the rest of the Avenger's cast? Instant best-selling author fame? Christian Kane joining me for a night of drunk karaoke? WHAT DO NORMAL PEOPLE ASK FOR?

The ability to clone myself to get all of these damn essays done? Alright, back to the grindstone.

*I bet you think I'm kidding, and I am, but only about the eggs being uncolored. We color those bi-products of a hen's menstrual cycle within an inch of their lives.

it's my b-day & i'll slash if i want to, holidays: wtf, alaska: we're cool, bitch bitch bitch

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