it's moments like those that kill me
Some of you might not quite believe the bit of John Winchester's Journal I mentioned in the last post, and I'm waiting for something to download anyway, so I'll just type up the entry. All words--except for the ones in smallfont--belong to Alex Irvine.
.
April 19th (oh my god, that's my birthday o.o)
The hunting trip was nearly a disaster. Dean missed his shot. I sent him after the buck, a beautiful twelve-pointer, and he dropped the gun when he tripped on the trail. Then out of nowhere comes Sammy, who picks up the gun and lays that big boy out. A seven-year-old...well, almost eight.
Then he tells me that he thought the deer had taken Dean's gun, and that Sammy had to protect him.
It's moments like those that kill me. I taught him that, Dean too. I taught them that everything should be seen as a threat. And now Sammy sees a deer and thinks it's trying to hurt his brother.
God.
Things got worse from there because Sammy told me he'd gotten up, wanting to come after me and Dean, and found the man in the black Seville outside Bobby's house. He rode in the Seville to the trailhead, and found us from there. I don't even know how to get my head around that. I feel like I should punish him somehow, but the truth is I should be punishing myself.
We get home, and Bobby tells me to go see Silas again. I didn't want to do it, but when I got to his house, there he was, awake and standing in his front door like he'd never been sick in his life. I don't know how to explain it. He said again that Sammy was special, and he wanted some time to talk to Sam and understand what was happening. So Dean and I left for an hour, and on the way back I saw the Seville.
When we got to Silas' place, there was Sammy, sitting on the porch. He said he and Silas talked for a while. I went inside, left Dean with his brother to catch up. Inside... I've never seen anything like it. Or if I have, it was after an artillery strike in Nam. Silas was just in pieces, little bits of him stuck to the walls and floor. Scrawled in blood on the kitchen cabinets, the words KILL HIM.
Now I've got to find the sonofabitch that killed Silas, too.
.
The owner of the black Seville that John mentioned--turned out he was a hunter named Anderson, and he started gunning for Sam. Dean killed him, and that's all John says on the matter besides angsting over what Mary might think about how he's raising her boys.
AUGH, JOHN. WHY YOU SO SKIMPY ON DETAILS.
.
April 19th (oh my god, that's my birthday o.o)
The hunting trip was nearly a disaster. Dean missed his shot. I sent him after the buck, a beautiful twelve-pointer, and he dropped the gun when he tripped on the trail. Then out of nowhere comes Sammy, who picks up the gun and lays that big boy out. A seven-year-old...well, almost eight.
Then he tells me that he thought the deer had taken Dean's gun, and that Sammy had to protect him.
It's moments like those that kill me. I taught him that, Dean too. I taught them that everything should be seen as a threat. And now Sammy sees a deer and thinks it's trying to hurt his brother.
God.
Things got worse from there because Sammy told me he'd gotten up, wanting to come after me and Dean, and found the man in the black Seville outside Bobby's house. He rode in the Seville to the trailhead, and found us from there. I don't even know how to get my head around that. I feel like I should punish him somehow, but the truth is I should be punishing myself.
We get home, and Bobby tells me to go see Silas again. I didn't want to do it, but when I got to his house, there he was, awake and standing in his front door like he'd never been sick in his life. I don't know how to explain it. He said again that Sammy was special, and he wanted some time to talk to Sam and understand what was happening. So Dean and I left for an hour, and on the way back I saw the Seville.
When we got to Silas' place, there was Sammy, sitting on the porch. He said he and Silas talked for a while. I went inside, left Dean with his brother to catch up. Inside... I've never seen anything like it. Or if I have, it was after an artillery strike in Nam. Silas was just in pieces, little bits of him stuck to the walls and floor. Scrawled in blood on the kitchen cabinets, the words KILL HIM.
Now I've got to find the sonofabitch that killed Silas, too.
.
The owner of the black Seville that John mentioned--turned out he was a hunter named Anderson, and he started gunning for Sam. Dean killed him, and that's all John says on the matter besides angsting over what Mary might think about how he's raising her boys.
AUGH, JOHN. WHY YOU SO SKIMPY ON DETAILS.