The Cake Is Not A Lie
Yesterday at the party we had cake. Today we were dragged in after Quaker meeting to have more cake. And today after lunch we were supposed to meet more people for Yet More Cake.
Me: OH MY--*claps hands over mouth*
Mom: ...What kind of cake?
(Because all of the cake SO FAR had been that horrible tasteless store-bought cake with the frosting that ( Read more... )
"Wha? Ow, shit! Mmmm."
"I was about to tell you, you shouldn't hold that instrument that way. Are you injured?"
"Mmmm!"
"Well, no, not really, as you've got it in your mouth at the moment. It would only become obvious if you'd remove it. May I?"
"Mrrr."
"I assure you, I did not mean to startle you; it was a complete accident. Let me look at it."
"Mmph."
"I once spent a most memorable three months on a ship to Papua New Guinea, under the tutelage of a man who believed that not only could the human body withstand more than most people expect -- or even condone -- but that the faster one tended to ...well, that's not important. What is important is that if your hand is, indeed, wounded, then the taste of blood in your mouth should be quite unpleasant. Unless, of course, you do prefer the taste of blood--"
*snort*
"--in which case there are some meal changes I do believe you ought to inform the galley cook of immediately. He does so hate to waste the furnace coal. Come, now, let me see."
...
"Ahh. A nice bit of bruising, there. Can you move it? There. Ah, excellent. It doesn't appear to be broken. Very fortunate, don't you think?"
"Yeah, fortunate. Only now I've gotta pick up the damn--"
"Fortunate indeed, Mr. Kowalski. You may not have realized exactly how ... integral... to the overall working of the hand your thumb may be. Why, without it? You can't do ... this."
*gasp*
"Or this."
"Gaahhh!"
"I've even heard of people who can -- mmmmmph!"
*thumps, shuffling sounds*
"Due respect, sir? Y'talk too much."
Reply
ASKJALJDALSDJALSDJLKASJDLKASJ
Reply
Leave a comment