Angels & Lunatics...
Like always... it's been awhile. I've wanted to write actually, but I've been battered, bruised, exhausted, overwhelmed, reading, writing and just trying to do what I can to find both sanity and happiness. The moment I think things are finally getting on track, I feel tossed to the wayside again. My movement through time during the last (almost) two months has been equivalent to the churning of the ocean.
I'm not loosing interest in livejournal either... it's just hard to justify writing a livejournal entry when I know a paper is due (even though I have currently resigned myself to ignore that fact right now), or I know if I just work on one task in the evening on my infinite list of “things that really need done to make my classroom better” it would make my day run smoother at work. Here I am now. I couldn't wait another minute to write even though truly catching up will take more than one night. That’s almost always the way it works though.
I don't want to give the impression that I'm unhappy with my life the way it is now. I'm much happier this year than last. I think a huge part of me that just likes to feel fulfilled... and that didn't really happen in my professional life last year. For the most part, I took a year off, but I feel like it was what I needed to feel energized mentally, emotionally, and physically. However, yay! I’m finding my place again.
Things are going really well with my new job. Maybe that is one reason I just don’t see a reason to write… no complaints. J As far as I know, administration seems to respect, appreciate and support me. I also like that we keep our personal lives out of the workplace. I think the closest I got with administration was when one literally patted me on the back and said, “Excellent work.” It was the total opposite at my last teaching placement - principal bought all special education teachers Chinese for lunch, but the rest of the school were wondering why they received nothing. We had get-togethers at my boss’s home, but I knew none of us were really friends… so why was everyone trying so hard to pretend we were? At where I work now, we only talk about work and I can say with 100% certainty I know nothing about anyone in administration, and I feel it makes for a more professional and job centered environment so we can effectively teach some really challenging kids. I love this.
The biggest problem I have is with staff. Yesterday a co-worker told me my classroom is like the Bermuda Triangle. Staff come to the classroom, they see us dealing with some really strong, often aggressive students... then the next day the staff simply disappear. They don't show to work, they don't call in... they simply go missing into the vast abyss of the world. This happened with my new help for one kid, and now I'm back to square one... it's a little overwhelming.Then another debate began about, do we do the work of angels or are we just lunatics who don't miss our sanity? Not really sure...
The teens I teach are really challenging but they are also just as endearing. Yes, I’m becoming a pro at dodging and blocking kicks, grabs, punches and thrown objects but it definitely keeps life exciting. It’s like I’m living a real-life videogame adventure. I’ve learned and have been practicing restraints so I’ve been staying pretty safe. Every day can be an adventure. That’s pretty much it. I don't feel like focusing on any other issues, although I do have some good ones for a future entry, but I'll fill you in later on some of my craziest highlights.
My classes are going okay. I feel perpetually behind because I'm a little frustrated so much of it feels like fluff... so far. A huge part of me is screaming, "Please let me work on my thesis already," because seriously I already have it picked, planned... I just need to start the research. I'm not trying to be egocentric, I know I don't know it all. I just don't know why I'm feeling like I'm sifting through a sand mixture. I think things will pick up though; these intro classes are always like this. I do really like the people in my class; I met them two weeks ago and already made some new friends. Three of us are in the Guinness Book of World Records too, which was an uncanny coincidence.
So on top of my work schedule and school schedule, I've actually been pretty busy with my hobbies. Just the other day, I realized that I will be playing within 3 kingdoms this upcoming year in the SCA. Currently I've been doing a lot with my new placement within the East and Atlantia. I made a lot of friends because of Dance Away the Winter... and when they learned of my nearby location, I immediately became a dance master for a shire. It's really cool to actually have people who want to dance and seem supportive of the art. I even coordinated practice for an sca demo this past weekend at Pumpkin Fest, which was a huge success. Also because of the “playing in two near-by groups,” I’ve been taking a step back to commedia dell'Arte too. I just wanted to have a group during the week, but that didn't exist in the section of the East Kingdom where I am located at so I'm creating one. I also got connected with some people in Atlantia who are diehard performers too, and we started talking about what we have in common. Ironically enough I started on the topic about dance and commedia, and how I've been researching parallel cultural influence within both, hence the main reason I incorporated both into art. Well as I mentioned that, the leader told me they just took a dance class this weekend and were inspired to write a play based on the dance they learned. So it's like we already have the same mindset, which is really awesome. I’ve learned to go into these endeavors slowly and with no expectations. However, I can say that so far, so good.
I’m getting into some amazing shape. I've also been trying to get back to doing Zumba at least one hour a day. I also attended a Zumba party and it was so AWESOME! We danced for three hours! On the days I can’t take a Zumba class, I either attend Pilates or I teach one of my dance classes for the SCA. I really, and I mean really, really… suck at pilates. Like I mentioned before, I have absolutely no coordination and have never, ever had upper body strength even when I was a kid. So I’ve been pretty scared away by Pilates and have never tried it before. However, I made an acquaintance at the front desk of the YMCA (because I come in so often), and she convinced me to give it a try. I went and even though I’m probably the worst one in the class, no one judges. Everyone gives it their best try at their own level. For a while I thought the reason “not to do it” is simply because I can’t do it. However Pilates is one of those things that if a person really can’t do it that means that’s even more of a reason why they SHOULD… those areas need strengthened. I will never, ever consider myself “good” but I’m sure I will improve. Practicing means I will at least get a little better in time.
I’m doing my yearly reading of Dante’s Inferno. I’ve also been watching the Twilight Zone DVDs of mine, and also watching Chobits and XXXholic on Netflix.
So that pretty much covers this general update. I have some philosophical topics to cover, but I’m too drained right now. I know, pretty boring. I wish I could figure out what I’m doing for my favorite holiday, Halloween, but I’m really not sure yet. As a result of my living situation, I won’t be able to work on a new costume for myself this year anyway.
Okay, well I hope all my invisible friends in livejournal are doing well! Take care!
I'm not loosing interest in livejournal either... it's just hard to justify writing a livejournal entry when I know a paper is due (even though I have currently resigned myself to ignore that fact right now), or I know if I just work on one task in the evening on my infinite list of “things that really need done to make my classroom better” it would make my day run smoother at work. Here I am now. I couldn't wait another minute to write even though truly catching up will take more than one night. That’s almost always the way it works though.
I don't want to give the impression that I'm unhappy with my life the way it is now. I'm much happier this year than last. I think a huge part of me that just likes to feel fulfilled... and that didn't really happen in my professional life last year. For the most part, I took a year off, but I feel like it was what I needed to feel energized mentally, emotionally, and physically. However, yay! I’m finding my place again.
Things are going really well with my new job. Maybe that is one reason I just don’t see a reason to write… no complaints. J As far as I know, administration seems to respect, appreciate and support me. I also like that we keep our personal lives out of the workplace. I think the closest I got with administration was when one literally patted me on the back and said, “Excellent work.” It was the total opposite at my last teaching placement - principal bought all special education teachers Chinese for lunch, but the rest of the school were wondering why they received nothing. We had get-togethers at my boss’s home, but I knew none of us were really friends… so why was everyone trying so hard to pretend we were? At where I work now, we only talk about work and I can say with 100% certainty I know nothing about anyone in administration, and I feel it makes for a more professional and job centered environment so we can effectively teach some really challenging kids. I love this.
The biggest problem I have is with staff. Yesterday a co-worker told me my classroom is like the Bermuda Triangle. Staff come to the classroom, they see us dealing with some really strong, often aggressive students... then the next day the staff simply disappear. They don't show to work, they don't call in... they simply go missing into the vast abyss of the world. This happened with my new help for one kid, and now I'm back to square one... it's a little overwhelming.Then another debate began about, do we do the work of angels or are we just lunatics who don't miss our sanity? Not really sure...
The teens I teach are really challenging but they are also just as endearing. Yes, I’m becoming a pro at dodging and blocking kicks, grabs, punches and thrown objects but it definitely keeps life exciting. It’s like I’m living a real-life videogame adventure. I’ve learned and have been practicing restraints so I’ve been staying pretty safe. Every day can be an adventure. That’s pretty much it. I don't feel like focusing on any other issues, although I do have some good ones for a future entry, but I'll fill you in later on some of my craziest highlights.
My classes are going okay. I feel perpetually behind because I'm a little frustrated so much of it feels like fluff... so far. A huge part of me is screaming, "Please let me work on my thesis already," because seriously I already have it picked, planned... I just need to start the research. I'm not trying to be egocentric, I know I don't know it all. I just don't know why I'm feeling like I'm sifting through a sand mixture. I think things will pick up though; these intro classes are always like this. I do really like the people in my class; I met them two weeks ago and already made some new friends. Three of us are in the Guinness Book of World Records too, which was an uncanny coincidence.
So on top of my work schedule and school schedule, I've actually been pretty busy with my hobbies. Just the other day, I realized that I will be playing within 3 kingdoms this upcoming year in the SCA. Currently I've been doing a lot with my new placement within the East and Atlantia. I made a lot of friends because of Dance Away the Winter... and when they learned of my nearby location, I immediately became a dance master for a shire. It's really cool to actually have people who want to dance and seem supportive of the art. I even coordinated practice for an sca demo this past weekend at Pumpkin Fest, which was a huge success. Also because of the “playing in two near-by groups,” I’ve been taking a step back to commedia dell'Arte too. I just wanted to have a group during the week, but that didn't exist in the section of the East Kingdom where I am located at so I'm creating one. I also got connected with some people in Atlantia who are diehard performers too, and we started talking about what we have in common. Ironically enough I started on the topic about dance and commedia, and how I've been researching parallel cultural influence within both, hence the main reason I incorporated both into art. Well as I mentioned that, the leader told me they just took a dance class this weekend and were inspired to write a play based on the dance they learned. So it's like we already have the same mindset, which is really awesome. I’ve learned to go into these endeavors slowly and with no expectations. However, I can say that so far, so good.
I’m getting into some amazing shape. I've also been trying to get back to doing Zumba at least one hour a day. I also attended a Zumba party and it was so AWESOME! We danced for three hours! On the days I can’t take a Zumba class, I either attend Pilates or I teach one of my dance classes for the SCA. I really, and I mean really, really… suck at pilates. Like I mentioned before, I have absolutely no coordination and have never, ever had upper body strength even when I was a kid. So I’ve been pretty scared away by Pilates and have never tried it before. However, I made an acquaintance at the front desk of the YMCA (because I come in so often), and she convinced me to give it a try. I went and even though I’m probably the worst one in the class, no one judges. Everyone gives it their best try at their own level. For a while I thought the reason “not to do it” is simply because I can’t do it. However Pilates is one of those things that if a person really can’t do it that means that’s even more of a reason why they SHOULD… those areas need strengthened. I will never, ever consider myself “good” but I’m sure I will improve. Practicing means I will at least get a little better in time.
I’m doing my yearly reading of Dante’s Inferno. I’ve also been watching the Twilight Zone DVDs of mine, and also watching Chobits and XXXholic on Netflix.
So that pretty much covers this general update. I have some philosophical topics to cover, but I’m too drained right now. I know, pretty boring. I wish I could figure out what I’m doing for my favorite holiday, Halloween, but I’m really not sure yet. As a result of my living situation, I won’t be able to work on a new costume for myself this year anyway.
Okay, well I hope all my invisible friends in livejournal are doing well! Take care!