The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
I really wish I could think of something witty on my own but I'm so drained. This saying seemed appropriate though. It doesn't seem like much has been going on. It's sad to think that one of the only reasons I'm writing in this state of mind is to procrastinate from reading about PSSA writing administration. It's like livejournal has become the distracting background music I have forgotten about. Not fully true though; I also think I need to have a spring cleaning session for my mind. I know it's not quite spring yet; far from it actually. However, it can't wait. So due to lack of time, I'll post some snapshots from the chaos that I still am able to call "life."
It's been an enjoyable year. From New Year's Eve start of the year where I danced all night with a great group of fun and friendly lesbians (which is a crazy random story for another time), to now, this new year has been a pretty fantastic one so far. I posted my most recent photos in an album called Murder & Dancing, two of my most favorite things! Went to a fun murder mystery and then last weekend I had a fantastic time dancing at Carnivale and catching up with some people. I will be going to another one this upcoming weekend. This weekend I get to stretch my role as an actress, as I get to play a sexually confused brother. Um, it should be INTERESTING. Um, I guess the people I know, know my acting ability too well and refuse to typecast. It's okay; I can handle the challenge. I also started role-playing with a couple writers in Erie an anime style game called, "Big Eyes, Small Mouth." It's really a lot of fun, and so great to finally role play with people who are as creative as I am (for a change).
* I love my job, really I do. It's amazing because every day I can just feel myself making more progress toward becoming an excellent teacher. It's so strange. Part of me just still cannot believe I'm doing everything that I am. I'm teaching, taking graduate classes, and coordinating a recreational program on Saturdays for children with Autism. It really is a lot, but so rewarding. Despite it all, I'm really fortunate to have these opportunities to practice my skills, plant my roots and become even more valuable to the world. It's rough though. Middle school is a battle ground. It's the little successes that mean everything to me.
An example I've been using lately happened last week. During second period I received a frantic phone call from the lady in charge of the alternative placement room. She called me to say that she called my supervisor because a child from my caseload was tearing up the room. My supervisor told her to call me to have me try to calm him down. It was kind of like I was his 'last hope' before the inevitable phone call home. It sounded like things were almost beyond repair.
So I took a deep breath and remained calm. This was a monumental feat. I really enjoy this child, he just can be a handful about 80% of the time. He's verbal, out of control, will storm out of the room and try to argue until the end of time. Oh, and nothing is ever his fault. He also refuses to complete assigned work and almost nothing helps him find self motivation. The other 20% of the time compensates for all the difficult times; he's very amusing, friendly and can hold an intellectual conversation.
So I arrived in the room and calmly went over to him. I asked him if he was okay, and wanted to know what was troubling him. He told me he felt overwhelmed because his teachers had given him a lot of work to complete and he didn't feel like doing it. He also didn't like the quiet, nonsocial environment. Then I told him that he definitely had a good reason to be upset; however the fact remained that the only way to escape would be for him to complete his assignments. Then I suggested to him that maybe he could break up his time working with a more enjoyable activity. I suggested that he could read a book, and I asked him if it would help if I grabbed one of my favorite books and brought it down. He agreed, so I dashed out of the room found one of my favorite short story horror books, and he was in brighter spirits. I told him that even though I had to get back to teaching, that I wasn't abandoning him. I told him to let the attendant know if he needed anything else.
When I left, I was expecting a variety of phone calls throughout the day. Or I was expecting a phone call from my supervisor letting me know that he was sent home. I really didn't expect the peace to last, to be honest. However, I got through the rest of the day with no other phone calls. At the end of the day I went to check on him. I saw him being escorted down with the rest of the class. He saw me and waved. He told me he really enjoyed the book I gave him to read that afternoon and asked if he could have it. I told him he could, and that I was proud of him making it through the rest of the day.
It was just one of those beautiful moments where I felt like I had solved a puzzle correctly. Everything fell into place. I felt successful, and I felt like for a brief moment that I did something right in this difficult world. I was able to see a glimpse into the future. Someday, I will harness those skills, and become the teacher I've always dreamed of being.
* Graduate school is going relatively well. The class I've taken during this term has been really difficult. It's practically everything you ever wanted to know about single subject research but were afraid to ask - all crammed into 10 weeks! Yikes! I'm doing well though - so far I have a really high GPA overall. I love the fact that I'm completing graduate school now. I can't imagine waiting; why wait? So much time is lost, and learning is so much fun! It's kind of scary to think in spring of next year I will be ready to graduate with my degree already. My advice - if you're going to do it, why wait? Life may just pass you by...
*Brrr.... I hate winter. It's clear that we are in the unpleasant pith of the season now. It's 7 degrees here. School was not delayed or canceled today. Hardly any kids showed up today. Most of our special education classes has one or two kids.
* One of my new years resolutions was to try to keep better contact with those who I have known at one point or another through postage mail. Writing a genuine letter feels like a lost art to me, in this age of digital convenience. There is just something so genuine about getting real mail. So far, I've been relatively successful and it has made me feel great. I sent out a variety of Christmas / Holiday Cards to some people I haven't heard from lately. One was to a girl I haven't seen in five years! I just missed her and hoped that maybe a letter would get us back in touch. She was the first friend I ever made at Pennsic. I've tried a couple times to just send letters since, no reply. I figured I'd try one last time. I just got a reply from her last week:
Of course I remember you! I'm sorry I didn't respond to your letter right away... I hope this letter finds you in good spirits... How are you? The last I knew about you, you were in college and engaged. Did you get married yet? Tell me all about him? How old are you now? Are you living in an apartment with your fiancee / husband? You've got to tell me everything. I've missed you so much. I was so upset when I couldn't find your address after I moved... I'm so glad your letter managed to find me. I'm sorry about the shortness of this letter but I feel awkward writing about myself when I keep wondering about you!
It was such a nice surprise! I wrote back immediately. I just feel like it is such a great feeling when someone from your past randomly tries to get back in touch. It's just so delightful to know that someone cares about you enough to spend their time writing back. No hidden agenda. Just two people who have lost touch and want to catch up amidst the busy tides of life. I think a true friend is one where despite the time that passes, when you are able to talk again, it feels as if no time has gone by. It's kind of like you can just pick up where you left off because both of you care about each other so much.
So, anyone else up for a pen pal? That's about all I can handle with everything else on my plate. I've kind of given up on IMing, and pretty much barely even have time to e-mail. I just use it for yahoo groups or other forum updates. Anyway, It doesn't matter how close we are, or even if we were once close at all. So I'm trying my best; you each mean something to me. This is my effort; there is not enough randomness in life. I'm going through my address book & sending random cards / letters if I have your address. If you are not sure if I have your address, or really want to ensure you receive a letter feel free to message me, IM or e-mail me your address.
Wow, I lied. There has been a lot going on with just me alone! What originally began as a simple entry somehow expanded into one of the longest updates I've made in a while. And it's 11:53, lost track of time, and still haven't read that PSSA book. Time to crack open those dusty pages...
It's been an enjoyable year. From New Year's Eve start of the year where I danced all night with a great group of fun and friendly lesbians (which is a crazy random story for another time), to now, this new year has been a pretty fantastic one so far. I posted my most recent photos in an album called Murder & Dancing, two of my most favorite things! Went to a fun murder mystery and then last weekend I had a fantastic time dancing at Carnivale and catching up with some people. I will be going to another one this upcoming weekend. This weekend I get to stretch my role as an actress, as I get to play a sexually confused brother. Um, it should be INTERESTING. Um, I guess the people I know, know my acting ability too well and refuse to typecast. It's okay; I can handle the challenge. I also started role-playing with a couple writers in Erie an anime style game called, "Big Eyes, Small Mouth." It's really a lot of fun, and so great to finally role play with people who are as creative as I am (for a change).
* I love my job, really I do. It's amazing because every day I can just feel myself making more progress toward becoming an excellent teacher. It's so strange. Part of me just still cannot believe I'm doing everything that I am. I'm teaching, taking graduate classes, and coordinating a recreational program on Saturdays for children with Autism. It really is a lot, but so rewarding. Despite it all, I'm really fortunate to have these opportunities to practice my skills, plant my roots and become even more valuable to the world. It's rough though. Middle school is a battle ground. It's the little successes that mean everything to me.
An example I've been using lately happened last week. During second period I received a frantic phone call from the lady in charge of the alternative placement room. She called me to say that she called my supervisor because a child from my caseload was tearing up the room. My supervisor told her to call me to have me try to calm him down. It was kind of like I was his 'last hope' before the inevitable phone call home. It sounded like things were almost beyond repair.
So I took a deep breath and remained calm. This was a monumental feat. I really enjoy this child, he just can be a handful about 80% of the time. He's verbal, out of control, will storm out of the room and try to argue until the end of time. Oh, and nothing is ever his fault. He also refuses to complete assigned work and almost nothing helps him find self motivation. The other 20% of the time compensates for all the difficult times; he's very amusing, friendly and can hold an intellectual conversation.
So I arrived in the room and calmly went over to him. I asked him if he was okay, and wanted to know what was troubling him. He told me he felt overwhelmed because his teachers had given him a lot of work to complete and he didn't feel like doing it. He also didn't like the quiet, nonsocial environment. Then I told him that he definitely had a good reason to be upset; however the fact remained that the only way to escape would be for him to complete his assignments. Then I suggested to him that maybe he could break up his time working with a more enjoyable activity. I suggested that he could read a book, and I asked him if it would help if I grabbed one of my favorite books and brought it down. He agreed, so I dashed out of the room found one of my favorite short story horror books, and he was in brighter spirits. I told him that even though I had to get back to teaching, that I wasn't abandoning him. I told him to let the attendant know if he needed anything else.
When I left, I was expecting a variety of phone calls throughout the day. Or I was expecting a phone call from my supervisor letting me know that he was sent home. I really didn't expect the peace to last, to be honest. However, I got through the rest of the day with no other phone calls. At the end of the day I went to check on him. I saw him being escorted down with the rest of the class. He saw me and waved. He told me he really enjoyed the book I gave him to read that afternoon and asked if he could have it. I told him he could, and that I was proud of him making it through the rest of the day.
It was just one of those beautiful moments where I felt like I had solved a puzzle correctly. Everything fell into place. I felt successful, and I felt like for a brief moment that I did something right in this difficult world. I was able to see a glimpse into the future. Someday, I will harness those skills, and become the teacher I've always dreamed of being.
* Graduate school is going relatively well. The class I've taken during this term has been really difficult. It's practically everything you ever wanted to know about single subject research but were afraid to ask - all crammed into 10 weeks! Yikes! I'm doing well though - so far I have a really high GPA overall. I love the fact that I'm completing graduate school now. I can't imagine waiting; why wait? So much time is lost, and learning is so much fun! It's kind of scary to think in spring of next year I will be ready to graduate with my degree already. My advice - if you're going to do it, why wait? Life may just pass you by...
*Brrr.... I hate winter. It's clear that we are in the unpleasant pith of the season now. It's 7 degrees here. School was not delayed or canceled today. Hardly any kids showed up today. Most of our special education classes has one or two kids.
* One of my new years resolutions was to try to keep better contact with those who I have known at one point or another through postage mail. Writing a genuine letter feels like a lost art to me, in this age of digital convenience. There is just something so genuine about getting real mail. So far, I've been relatively successful and it has made me feel great. I sent out a variety of Christmas / Holiday Cards to some people I haven't heard from lately. One was to a girl I haven't seen in five years! I just missed her and hoped that maybe a letter would get us back in touch. She was the first friend I ever made at Pennsic. I've tried a couple times to just send letters since, no reply. I figured I'd try one last time. I just got a reply from her last week:
Of course I remember you! I'm sorry I didn't respond to your letter right away... I hope this letter finds you in good spirits... How are you? The last I knew about you, you were in college and engaged. Did you get married yet? Tell me all about him? How old are you now? Are you living in an apartment with your fiancee / husband? You've got to tell me everything. I've missed you so much. I was so upset when I couldn't find your address after I moved... I'm so glad your letter managed to find me. I'm sorry about the shortness of this letter but I feel awkward writing about myself when I keep wondering about you!
It was such a nice surprise! I wrote back immediately. I just feel like it is such a great feeling when someone from your past randomly tries to get back in touch. It's just so delightful to know that someone cares about you enough to spend their time writing back. No hidden agenda. Just two people who have lost touch and want to catch up amidst the busy tides of life. I think a true friend is one where despite the time that passes, when you are able to talk again, it feels as if no time has gone by. It's kind of like you can just pick up where you left off because both of you care about each other so much.
So, anyone else up for a pen pal? That's about all I can handle with everything else on my plate. I've kind of given up on IMing, and pretty much barely even have time to e-mail. I just use it for yahoo groups or other forum updates. Anyway, It doesn't matter how close we are, or even if we were once close at all. So I'm trying my best; you each mean something to me. This is my effort; there is not enough randomness in life. I'm going through my address book & sending random cards / letters if I have your address. If you are not sure if I have your address, or really want to ensure you receive a letter feel free to message me, IM or e-mail me your address.
Wow, I lied. There has been a lot going on with just me alone! What originally began as a simple entry somehow expanded into one of the longest updates I've made in a while. And it's 11:53, lost track of time, and still haven't read that PSSA book. Time to crack open those dusty pages...