(no subject)
Ive been thinking alot about what I want to do with my life. We all do this at some point but until recent months my visions of the future involved magiv and fairies and whatever party was coming up. These days Ive been thinking about what I want to do with my life. Yes, I have just been given a permanent BOI job, and I could continue in the Bank for years and years to come....getting more and more money...but I know thats not me. Ys I love spending my money....but I would rather be 500 euro down a month doing something I want to do then spend my life doing something I dislike. Is that crazy?
So I strated thinking about what Im good at....and I realised that there are four things that LOVE. One is the bunny, but that isnt a paying job:( that leaves me with three things:
Movies
Writing/Reading
Depression/Self harm
I watch movies religiously but I cant see a future there. there can only be so many film critics. I love to write. But my fiction always lacks a passion...my short stories are good but I never carry that "something" through.
Now as sad as it sounds I love giving out advice to people on my SI websites. Its something I know about;) And I love reading about depression and BPD. I get it first hand and it fascinates me to see what the medical proffesional has to say. I order books in from all over the world about BPD and SI, and sometimes they get it and sometimes they dont. But there is never and in between. Nobody says....I feel this and you probably do to....but your experience of it will be completely different to mine.....we feel the same emotion, but in a different way.
Im not sure where Im going with this train of thought, but all I know is I am surviving my "illness". I hve friends who are surving and living with and embracing their illnesses and issues. Real people give hope. But maybe the other teenagers out there want to hear about it from someone quite literally just out of those teen years,instead of hearing it from someone looking bac from their thirties. Like i said I dont really know.....but what I do know is enough.
I apologise for bad typing/spelling. This was typed as I thought it.
So I strated thinking about what Im good at....and I realised that there are four things that LOVE. One is the bunny, but that isnt a paying job:( that leaves me with three things:
Movies
Writing/Reading
Depression/Self harm
I watch movies religiously but I cant see a future there. there can only be so many film critics. I love to write. But my fiction always lacks a passion...my short stories are good but I never carry that "something" through.
Now as sad as it sounds I love giving out advice to people on my SI websites. Its something I know about;) And I love reading about depression and BPD. I get it first hand and it fascinates me to see what the medical proffesional has to say. I order books in from all over the world about BPD and SI, and sometimes they get it and sometimes they dont. But there is never and in between. Nobody says....I feel this and you probably do to....but your experience of it will be completely different to mine.....we feel the same emotion, but in a different way.
Im not sure where Im going with this train of thought, but all I know is I am surviving my "illness". I hve friends who are surving and living with and embracing their illnesses and issues. Real people give hope. But maybe the other teenagers out there want to hear about it from someone quite literally just out of those teen years,instead of hearing it from someone looking bac from their thirties. Like i said I dont really know.....but what I do know is enough.
I apologise for bad typing/spelling. This was typed as I thought it.