(no subject)
I've been having a spate of strange dreams recently. Last night involved a girl from high school, a salvation army shelter, an airport and Greenday. Shit I thought I was mental before, but this is just fucked up! I think its because I'm not sleeping well - I've been waking up with a really sore back and neck and really tired. Also been having really restless sleeps. I don't know if anything is really troubling me or if its just that I'm in need of new pillows hehe.
Also my thoughts last night as I was trying to get to sleep, wandered back over the last few years and especially my time working at Atotech. They were the 2 hardest years of my life emotionally. Well in recent times I guess. I was thinking back to when I suffered depression in high school (not that I knew it then) and how its taken me time to realise that that was what it actually was. I can't believe I survived it without getting help. My thoughts were also with Prat - a friend from Big W who committed suicide during that time at Atotech. It was just a terrible sequence of loss while I was working there. First there was the Bali bombings (the first lot, not the most recent), then Pratish taking his life, then around October 2003 was when Nanna had her first really bad fall and ended up in hospital for about 4-6 weeks. It was a really really tough time.
I guess this has all been brought on by the impending week. Wednesday being the 12th of October, will be the 3rd aniversary of what I guess we can all now call Bali 1. Three years since losing Bec. I wanted to ask Kate if there was going to be anything happening for it, but I thought it best to leave it. Aside to this aniversary, Friday 14th October is Nanna's birthday. We are all heading down to Mornington as a family and on what would've been her 94th birthday, we are going to spread her ashes. I think it will be a hard day, but I also think it will be good for us all to be together. Its making me think ahead to next year when I will be taking some of her ashes over to the UK with me and taking them back to the highlands of Scotland where she wsa born. I was talking about it today with a lady at work and as I hope that Uncle Angus and Brenda will come with me to do this, a thought came to me today that maybe I should get a local church of scotland priest to do a bit of a ceremony. Mainly for Angus and Brenda as they couldn't make it here for the funeral. And after talking to Mum, I've decided that I will spread her ashes on her burial plot that she bought next to Grandpa's years ago. Apparently its on a hill with a lovely view of the highlands. I think it will be nice to reunite them. But anyway just a thought.
So yeah - tough week ahead, but I know now, that having been through so much so far in my life in terms of loss, I will get through it and I will be ok.
Also my thoughts last night as I was trying to get to sleep, wandered back over the last few years and especially my time working at Atotech. They were the 2 hardest years of my life emotionally. Well in recent times I guess. I was thinking back to when I suffered depression in high school (not that I knew it then) and how its taken me time to realise that that was what it actually was. I can't believe I survived it without getting help. My thoughts were also with Prat - a friend from Big W who committed suicide during that time at Atotech. It was just a terrible sequence of loss while I was working there. First there was the Bali bombings (the first lot, not the most recent), then Pratish taking his life, then around October 2003 was when Nanna had her first really bad fall and ended up in hospital for about 4-6 weeks. It was a really really tough time.
I guess this has all been brought on by the impending week. Wednesday being the 12th of October, will be the 3rd aniversary of what I guess we can all now call Bali 1. Three years since losing Bec. I wanted to ask Kate if there was going to be anything happening for it, but I thought it best to leave it. Aside to this aniversary, Friday 14th October is Nanna's birthday. We are all heading down to Mornington as a family and on what would've been her 94th birthday, we are going to spread her ashes. I think it will be a hard day, but I also think it will be good for us all to be together. Its making me think ahead to next year when I will be taking some of her ashes over to the UK with me and taking them back to the highlands of Scotland where she wsa born. I was talking about it today with a lady at work and as I hope that Uncle Angus and Brenda will come with me to do this, a thought came to me today that maybe I should get a local church of scotland priest to do a bit of a ceremony. Mainly for Angus and Brenda as they couldn't make it here for the funeral. And after talking to Mum, I've decided that I will spread her ashes on her burial plot that she bought next to Grandpa's years ago. Apparently its on a hill with a lovely view of the highlands. I think it will be nice to reunite them. But anyway just a thought.
So yeah - tough week ahead, but I know now, that having been through so much so far in my life in terms of loss, I will get through it and I will be ok.