The Boy
So, last night I told the boy about my LJ. and now he's gonna be reading it n stuff, I just hope that knowing that doesnt stop me from writing about how I feel about stuff that involves him.. cause this is about the only forum that my twisted lil brain feel comfortable discussing important shit in.
I'm so glad that I did tell him realy, because with every other guy I"ve been with, I was just trying be who they wanted me to be, and not who I am and they never really knew ME they knew the person who I was when I was around them.. I mean when I was with ass fuck (michael) I was a compleatly different person when I was with him as to when I was with my friends and in the end it made me really sad and shit n I couldnt talk about anything with him because I diddnt want to ruin the image that I had made for him.. if you know what I mean??
and the same thing applies with the next few guys.
so I think its a good thing, you know? it's a big thing for me too.. to let my boy really see who I am... and not who I want him to see because you just cant have a realationship that isnt honest. so I"ve come to the conclusion that if he reads shit in here that he doesnt like, and breaks up with me over it.. then its a good thing cause at least he actually knew his girlfriend.. not he finds something out about me and then goes, "nah, thats not my girl.. she wouldnt do that" and then harbours this huge grudge or something that then turns it into this really messy fucked up relationship and then breakup.
yay me for being brave.
so yeah.. I tried to have that talk with him last night Rhi. I dunno if it actually did anything other than exasperate the problem though cause it wasnt much of a talk.. just kinda degenerated into petty arguing over the same issues.. but hey, it had to have done some good though.. cause at least now we both kinda know whats going on with eachother a lil better...?? bah *sigh* stoopid boys. at least I told him bout my LJ *looks on the bright side*
but on some other shit now... my friend is opening her florist shop in a weeks time.. so I hope that goes good for her, and if your ever in Australia, you SO have to buy your pretty flowers off her or I'll do bad things to you. I'm kinda hoping that she will let me play with all the pretty flowers n stuff in exchange for some free labour, I would love to learn all about flowers n beeing a floist.. flowers are so cool.. n florists always have that beautiful smell. so I"m going to ask her about that next time I see her and we are both sober. so probably next week at her shop's grand opening.
I'm ALSO going to find me a typing tutor on the net n learn to touch type (what is this.. self improvement week?? I so have to stop watching all those lifestyle self help shows on TV ;-p) cause a)I type too slowly b)I'm trying to get a sexyterry job so I need to know how to type and c) I've been meaning to do this for like.. 3 years now lol
speaking of self improvement week.. on monday I"m going to toddle off to the library and RENT (borrow.. whatever) me some investing books! I compleatly forgot about the library.. here I was lamenting my lack of money because that meant lack of knowledge etc etc.. when there is a perfectly good library that will give me the damm books to read for FREE! lol.
all I'll need then is the 5 grand to open a commsec account and start trading but that wont be that hard.. I mean, banks will give anyone a credit card! lol. only slightly dodgy. but hey, some of the best people had a slightly dodgy start right?? its not like getting 2 or 3 credit cards to open a trading account is illeagal.. its just what most people would call stupid! and I"m am SO used to people saying that about me n my family that I just dont care anymore because we are doin alright and have seen and done more things that most family's ever will.
oohh speaking of family, my brother bought his truck! it wasnt as good as he thought it would be, but appaarently its still pretty bloody good. Rose (his wife) is just over the moon, he scored some serious brownie points for that one, she reckons its really comfy etc. and she is sooo excited to be in perth! you shoulda heard her over the phone.. she was like a lil kid! and me and pete realised something the other day before he left.. now that he has taken Rose to perth, jon and clarissa will be the only ones in the family that havnt been over there! thats funny cause they are the ones that have travelled overseas so much, and they havnt even been to perth! every one else has! so ner ner!! (ahh.. sibling rivalry dies hard lol)
anyway, I have to go cause its mum's last day here before her big trip and I"m feeling really bad cause I dont even get to see her off at the airport, I have to say goodbye before I go to work! because of this silly australia day party n stuff. but anyway, it'll be fun none the less, but I"m still sad that I dont get to see mum off.
Queen Cazza - Happy lil Vegemite.
I'm so glad that I did tell him realy, because with every other guy I"ve been with, I was just trying be who they wanted me to be, and not who I am and they never really knew ME they knew the person who I was when I was around them.. I mean when I was with ass fuck (michael) I was a compleatly different person when I was with him as to when I was with my friends and in the end it made me really sad and shit n I couldnt talk about anything with him because I diddnt want to ruin the image that I had made for him.. if you know what I mean??
and the same thing applies with the next few guys.
so I think its a good thing, you know? it's a big thing for me too.. to let my boy really see who I am... and not who I want him to see because you just cant have a realationship that isnt honest. so I"ve come to the conclusion that if he reads shit in here that he doesnt like, and breaks up with me over it.. then its a good thing cause at least he actually knew his girlfriend.. not he finds something out about me and then goes, "nah, thats not my girl.. she wouldnt do that" and then harbours this huge grudge or something that then turns it into this really messy fucked up relationship and then breakup.
yay me for being brave.
so yeah.. I tried to have that talk with him last night Rhi. I dunno if it actually did anything other than exasperate the problem though cause it wasnt much of a talk.. just kinda degenerated into petty arguing over the same issues.. but hey, it had to have done some good though.. cause at least now we both kinda know whats going on with eachother a lil better...?? bah *sigh* stoopid boys. at least I told him bout my LJ *looks on the bright side*
but on some other shit now... my friend is opening her florist shop in a weeks time.. so I hope that goes good for her, and if your ever in Australia, you SO have to buy your pretty flowers off her or I'll do bad things to you. I'm kinda hoping that she will let me play with all the pretty flowers n stuff in exchange for some free labour, I would love to learn all about flowers n beeing a floist.. flowers are so cool.. n florists always have that beautiful smell. so I"m going to ask her about that next time I see her and we are both sober. so probably next week at her shop's grand opening.
I'm ALSO going to find me a typing tutor on the net n learn to touch type (what is this.. self improvement week?? I so have to stop watching all those lifestyle self help shows on TV ;-p) cause a)I type too slowly b)I'm trying to get a sexyterry job so I need to know how to type and c) I've been meaning to do this for like.. 3 years now lol
speaking of self improvement week.. on monday I"m going to toddle off to the library and RENT (borrow.. whatever) me some investing books! I compleatly forgot about the library.. here I was lamenting my lack of money because that meant lack of knowledge etc etc.. when there is a perfectly good library that will give me the damm books to read for FREE! lol.
all I'll need then is the 5 grand to open a commsec account and start trading but that wont be that hard.. I mean, banks will give anyone a credit card! lol. only slightly dodgy. but hey, some of the best people had a slightly dodgy start right?? its not like getting 2 or 3 credit cards to open a trading account is illeagal.. its just what most people would call stupid! and I"m am SO used to people saying that about me n my family that I just dont care anymore because we are doin alright and have seen and done more things that most family's ever will.
oohh speaking of family, my brother bought his truck! it wasnt as good as he thought it would be, but appaarently its still pretty bloody good. Rose (his wife) is just over the moon, he scored some serious brownie points for that one, she reckons its really comfy etc. and she is sooo excited to be in perth! you shoulda heard her over the phone.. she was like a lil kid! and me and pete realised something the other day before he left.. now that he has taken Rose to perth, jon and clarissa will be the only ones in the family that havnt been over there! thats funny cause they are the ones that have travelled overseas so much, and they havnt even been to perth! every one else has! so ner ner!! (ahh.. sibling rivalry dies hard lol)
anyway, I have to go cause its mum's last day here before her big trip and I"m feeling really bad cause I dont even get to see her off at the airport, I have to say goodbye before I go to work! because of this silly australia day party n stuff. but anyway, it'll be fun none the less, but I"m still sad that I dont get to see mum off.
Queen Cazza - Happy lil Vegemite.