so i've been thinking...

[queen_bowie]

... i kind of want a haircut. this sucks because boys are ALWAYS cutting their hair and it annoys the hell out of me because long hair is soooooo... mmmmmm. but yeah. sometimes i don't even want to leave the house because i'm SO sick of being called a girl. i mean... it's not even a once in a while kind of thing. it's nearly every time i leave the house. i don't know... i feel bad cause in a way i feel like i'm conforming to their demands... but i'm so tired of being misunderstood. and i remembered that i really don't like having long hair that much anyway. bawww. i can't even afford a haircut so it's not like it's a big deal. i'm so pissy right now. like, little stuff is annoying the hell out of me. smooth criminal is four minutes and twenty seconds. but like... hair. i WANT ... i want ... i don't even know what i want. i want to know what i want and i want to get it. that's what i want. i want to be not the only gay person in this entire state. i can't be, can i? that's not even reasonable. i want friends. i don't know how to get them. i don't feel comfortable in groups of strangers. i mean, a few strangers... i don't know. i want to be more free but i just don't feel good when i'm surrounded by people i don't know who are all at least 20 years older than me... i don't even know how to start... "hi, i'm jude..." "oh, june? what a pretty name..............." *slits throat* I CAN"T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...

of course i can. i've been for ages. i'm just so.... fahhbahhfuck right now. i feel like crying.