The Fire From Within
It's come to my attention in recent months that there is a vast misperception of what is really meant by "burning with the fire from within." Though Carlos Castaneda talked about this concept at some length in his books, I have wondered if he truly grokked the depth of it himself, or if perhaps it was something of a mystery even to him - perhaps right up until the end of his physical life. In his books, it is intimated if not outright stated that a sorcerer or man of Knowledge may "burn with the fire from within (bwtffw) and thereby "leave this earth without a trace" - the intimation being that one's physical body would also be consumed by that fire and literally vanish into thin air.
And yet, when one really stops to think about that in alignment with the Toltec teachings & practices in general, it doesn't track for many reasons. First & foremost, don Juan continuously stressed that "sorcerers must be misers of energy." So when you stop to ask yourself what kind of energy would be required to literally dis-integrate and dis-corporate a physical mass the size of a human body, the question must be considered... is this a wise use of energy at all, especially since it would certainly seem that our physical bodies would serve little purpose in third attention. The hatched chick certainly doesn't carry her shell with her after such an ordeal of pecking her way free of it, so by the same token, why would a real sorcerer waste so much energy "disappearing" his own body when the sorcerer has certainly already discerned that his awareness is not rooted in his body to begin with?
One thing is certain. Whether Carlos understood the truth about bwtffw or not, most of his followers clearly had no understanding of it. One of the ongoing controversies surrounding CC's death was put forth by his followers, who basically used the fact that he died a "human" death of liver cancer as Absolute Proof that he was a fraud, and therefore everything he ever said was a lie. The argument has been put forth for years now that because Carlos didn't bwtffw (to their perceptions), he himself was not a sorcerer, and so on. In reality, of course, it's the age-old game - if the messenger can be properly discredited, some believe, then the message itself may be dismissed as irrelevant. And, of course, if the message is irrelevant, then the "followers" may feel justified in returning to their phantom practices with the self-righteous label of Victim lending credibility to their long list of gripes and complaints. So, in a nutshell, there is much to be gained by discrediting the messenger... or so it must seem to those who are so adamant about using the argument that Carlos's seeming failure to bwtffw may be used as evidence that Nothing Is Real.
On the surface, a logic of sorts may be perceived, but it is a flawed logic at best, for one simple reason: anyone who has pursued even the first faltering steps of a Toltec path already knows that the teachings are real. If the teacher was flawed or all too human or even an outright charlatan... the teachings still work... so discrediting the messenger is largely a passtime for armchair warriors and those who are truly fearful because they know the teachings are real. If we do the work, the Toltec teachings are undeniably viable. But no matter...
What amazes me is that so much weight is placed on this concept of burning with the fire from within, when it is obvious that those who tout its importance most of all are those who understand it least of all. In my own life, I have actually seen someone bwtffw - and that someone was Orlando. I have described this incident at length on my website in the article, The Crystal & the Nagual - and even all these years later, I have no doubt whatsoever that what I witnessed that day was the phenomenon don Juan referred to as "burning with the fire from within".
But here's the thing... If you're read the article, it becomes quickly apparent that what burns with the fire from within is the awareness which is the sorcerer himself. What "leaves this earth without a trace" is the awareness which don Juan spent so much time attempting to reveal to Carlos. For matters of convenience while we are in humanform manifestation, our awareness is seemingly attached to our body, but as we progress along the path and begin to explore Dreaming and other avenues of perception in second and even third attention, we begin to realize that our bodies are somewhat like "eggs" in which our awareness gestates, grows & evolves, until such time as it is ready to break through its luminous cocoon (is it any surprise that the luminous cocoon was also compared to an egg?) and begin its infinite journey beyond its mere corporeal existence.
In the Toltec teachings, much is also said about having the awareness that we are beings who are going to die. In fact, it is that process of using death as our advisor that gives a wo/man of Knowledge her motivation and sense of purpose - we acknowlege that our time on Earth is finite, but at the same time we hone the awareness that the essence of the Self (including all of its awareness) has the potential to be infinite.
When I witnessed Orlando burn with the fire from within, what left this earth in the manner of a sorcerer, without a trace, was the awareness of Orlando himself - the essence of the double. The body which had housed that awareness (nothing more than a temporary receptacle - the vessel for a brief time) simply turned and walked away, without retaining a single shred of awareness that had belonged to Orlando. What walked away was a human man in a human body. One day, that body will die, but that death will have nothing to do with Orlando, nothing to do with me. It will simply be a mortal human facing a mortal death... and yet...
For anyone who has experienced the actuality of witnessing another being burn with the fire from within, it is already known through experience that what leaves this earth in the manner of a sorcerer is not the body, but the essence. When it is my time to burn with the fire from within, the essence of Della will simply vanish without a trace. Maybe the body I currently inhabit will go on living for awhile or maybe it will die on the spot when that amount of energy is removed from it. Either way... if you are a seer, you will clearly see that burning with the fire from within is not a matter of one's body literally vanishing into thin air. It is a matter of one's cohesive spirit breaking through its shell and flying free into the infinite.
One thing is certain: looking at the nagual through the eyes of the tonal can only ever result in confusion, particularly when absolutes are assumed to be truths. Truth itself does not so easily or readily cooperate with our ideas of what we think it should be, because it is far too busy being what-it-is. My belief about burning with the fire from within was at one time rooted in the tonal - so deeply rooted, in fact, that it was months if not years until I really understood what I had witnessed that day when Orlando left this earth in the manner of a sorcerer.
As long as a warrior remains rooted and attached to the idea of what it means to burn with the fire from within, my guess is that the warrior is a believer and not really a seer. When one finally sees, all fear and doubt simply vanish. Seeing isn't believing. Seeing is Knowing. And Knowledge is Freedom.
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