"Eyebrow waxing"
Q: How do you eyebrow wax a house?
A: Winter
Explanation: When we bought the house, the windows facing the side street (the ones in the picture) were in need of a little updating: original uninsulated windows, painted shut for decades, and nasty 1950s vintage storm windows (also painted shut - go figure). New windows were on the to do in the indefinite future.
Another thing the house possessed when we bought it was window awnings. Aluminum window awnings. Red aluminum window awnings. Purpose: to keep the western face of the house cooler by keeping the sun out. They worked wonderfully, but turned the living room into a darkened cave. Tremendous privacy: they pretty much kept anyone from looking into the house, and made it a little hard to look out. And, lest we forget of course, there was the delightful sound of tiny hammers hitting tiny anvils every time it hailed or rained. If I find a picture of the house that's old enough I'll post it - but the house looked like it had half-shut eyes with lots of dark red eye shadow on them. We were at a loss as to what to do with them: they were not exactly to our tastes, but they weren't horrible to look at & we could live with them.
Nature is sometimes helpful in these moments of indecision: in the 1999 there were some pretty good snowfalls, and a considerable amount of snow built up on the roof and the awnings. The temperature warmed up for a few days, freezing everything in place. Add a little more snow, and then have a nice heavy rain. All the snow & ice on the roof slid onto the awnings, which still had ice frozen into the aluminum slats, and ripped down half of the awning over the living room windows. We made a quick call to the insurance company and a handyman friend, and had both awnings torn down. It was literally like night and day: the rooms went from dark to pretty darned bright, and the front of the house perked up tremendously!
In the spring, rather than replace the awning, we had new double-hung windows with UV coatings installed, and now I can open the windows when the weather is nice and actually get fresh air into the house. The window trim inside still needs to be stripped and repainted, but for now there are other more pressing items to take care of.
Do I miss the awnings? When the sun is beating into the living room, making the TV nearly impossible to see, when rain is blowing directly onto the windows, when a little privacy without closing the curtains would be nice...
On the other hand, the living room is more cheerful and bright, plants can actually survive and thrive in the window boxes (the previous owners kept plastic flowers in the window boxes: cleaning them out included removing blocks of green styrofoam that plastic flower picks had been stuck into), and the house looks more inviting.
A: Winter
Explanation: When we bought the house, the windows facing the side street (the ones in the picture) were in need of a little updating: original uninsulated windows, painted shut for decades, and nasty 1950s vintage storm windows (also painted shut - go figure). New windows were on the to do in the indefinite future.
Another thing the house possessed when we bought it was window awnings. Aluminum window awnings. Red aluminum window awnings. Purpose: to keep the western face of the house cooler by keeping the sun out. They worked wonderfully, but turned the living room into a darkened cave. Tremendous privacy: they pretty much kept anyone from looking into the house, and made it a little hard to look out. And, lest we forget of course, there was the delightful sound of tiny hammers hitting tiny anvils every time it hailed or rained. If I find a picture of the house that's old enough I'll post it - but the house looked like it had half-shut eyes with lots of dark red eye shadow on them. We were at a loss as to what to do with them: they were not exactly to our tastes, but they weren't horrible to look at & we could live with them.
Nature is sometimes helpful in these moments of indecision: in the 1999 there were some pretty good snowfalls, and a considerable amount of snow built up on the roof and the awnings. The temperature warmed up for a few days, freezing everything in place. Add a little more snow, and then have a nice heavy rain. All the snow & ice on the roof slid onto the awnings, which still had ice frozen into the aluminum slats, and ripped down half of the awning over the living room windows. We made a quick call to the insurance company and a handyman friend, and had both awnings torn down. It was literally like night and day: the rooms went from dark to pretty darned bright, and the front of the house perked up tremendously!
In the spring, rather than replace the awning, we had new double-hung windows with UV coatings installed, and now I can open the windows when the weather is nice and actually get fresh air into the house. The window trim inside still needs to be stripped and repainted, but for now there are other more pressing items to take care of.
Do I miss the awnings? When the sun is beating into the living room, making the TV nearly impossible to see, when rain is blowing directly onto the windows, when a little privacy without closing the curtains would be nice...
On the other hand, the living room is more cheerful and bright, plants can actually survive and thrive in the window boxes (the previous owners kept plastic flowers in the window boxes: cleaning them out included removing blocks of green styrofoam that plastic flower picks had been stuck into), and the house looks more inviting.