the rant that became a manual...
So there are some things about anal sex in fanfic that have really been annoying me lately. And thus, i rant. And try not to be too graphic, because ew.
So under the cut:
1. the virgin tightness of Ianto's ass
2. the need for lube
3. oh the pain, the pain
4. one, two, three, cock
5. for the love of a prostate
1. On the virgin tightness of Ianto's ass - right. There is no such thing as 'virgin tight' when it comes to the ass area. Really, this should be common sense if you take a moment to think about it. What is the ass primarily used for? Got that mental image? Right, let's say you like to er, well, crap. A lot. This doesn't make your ass somehow less tight the more you do it, does it? In much the same way we don't go around having to wear nappies to stop things...falling out... Jack's cock? isn't going to know the difference between the mythical 'virgin tight' and 'one more time'. Neither is Ianto's ass for that matter. These are purely mental states.
Not to mention, the particular part of the anatomy is made up of two rings of muscle. If you use muscles, they get stronger. For a female analogy, the keigal muscle - flexing it to build strength does not make a woman's vagina looser. Ianto's ass is not going to become less tight after lots and lots of sex. Which is not to say that it might feel easier to penetrate because of the mental states of those used to the act, but the actual strength ain't gonna change. (oh, and while on the topic of tightness - the scissoring motion so common to fandom? not so easy. unless you have superman-strong fingers - also a lot of the nerves are in the muscle ring itself, so the in-out method is more pleasurable than scissoring things inside where there are less - same can be said of vaginas).
2. The need for lube - Torchwood fandom is actually pretty good at the lube use. Of course it uses a hell of a lot of it. When it comes to lube, a little goes a long way. No need to be sparing, but really, a whole bottle and no sex is gonna be happening because you'll be sliding all over each other. For those fics where there is no lube at all? Not gonna be pleasant. Unlike a vagina, anuses (anusi?) do not lubricate themselves. It's gonna hurt and cause tensing up and it just ain't gettin' in there folks. (eta - there are also alternatives to store bought lube out there.. or rather in there, say the in the fridge or bathroom, try a google search)
3. Oh the pain, the pain - I think this has to be due to a lot of fanfic being written by straight girls who haven't experienced the act themselves and so naturally superimpose what they think it must be like onto the written act. Anal sex should not hurt. At all. If it does it will be because one person is unwilling or forced upon. The act itself is pleasurable - there is a reason gay men and a fair portion of straight couples do it after all. It isn't just to hit the prostate - that's a bonus, if you're a man. There are a LOT of nerve endings down there. And yes, it is absolutely possible to come from just the penetration (that is without the prostate). Think of the way that women can have orgasms clitorally or vaginally (don't get me started on Freud!) well they can have them anally also, as can men. (oh and for women, not only is anal sex pleasurable for it's own nerve endings, but there's the fact that it's a thin wall between the anal and vaginal canals - that means stimulation of both and depending on the angle of the man, g-spot too. And if you er, play, with all three at once? thrice the fun!
To get a bit dirtier, the way the area works is that there are two rings of muscles, inner and outer. You can consciously control the outer one, the inner one not so much. Hence the need to be relaxed in order for your partner to get inside. If you're into the idea and turned on enough, there won't be a problem, and it won't hurt. Generally speaking, the 'first time' or times it won't hurt, but it might feel rather odd. Seeing as your ass to this point is only used to doing one thing, it actually feels like that's what's happening when your partner pulls out. (i know, ew) But you get over that quickly and it just feels damn good. (fyi, while still on anatomy, the icky stuff isn't stored in the rectum, it's further up in the colon, so it isn't as bad as you think - but anal sex with a full bowel might be uncomfortable, not that i want to read about enemas and bowel movements in my fic mind you, i mention this solely to be thorough. it might not be completely clean, but it isn't outright messy or anything).
4. One, Two, Three, Cock - Which brings me to the 'be prepared' motto of Torchwood fic. As the ability to have anal sex is mostly mental - in both relaxation and wanting the act to happen - it really isn't necessary to 'warm up' Ianto's ass every single time sex is had. Now the first time, it might make sense to start with fingers and then increase them, it gets the person used to the idea and the new feelings and a gradual increase in girth. And needless to say, fingers and tongues and prep can be foreplay fun in their own right all the time! Some people are going to need to be eased into enjoying the experience, or will want to be 'cause it's fun, but it isn't a hard and fast rule that they will have to be. If Ianto is horny enough and Jack has the lube, they can get right to it the first time with nary a finger in sight. (again, think of what you do in reverse.. unpleasant, but clearly the thing is made to stretch and contract without pain). In any case, it certainly doesn't have to be one finger, two fingers, three fingers, cock! every single time. That said, some people need the prep more than others, and you certainly shouldn't shy away from it - but fanfic-wise, variety is the spice of life, it doesn't need to be 123cock. (and there's a LJ username for you...)
5. For the love of a prostate and feel of a cock - The added benefit of being a man is that they have a prostate, but as I said, it isn't the be all and end all pleasure centre. However, if you have one, enjoy it! Quick anatomy one-o-one, if Ianto inserted his finger into Jack, the prostate can be found around an inch or two in and towards the front (stomach) of the guy.. ie, if Ianto was in front of Jack, he'd curl his finger inwards to hit it. (side note, the perineum is also a good place to tease because of its situational connection with the prostate). As far as I know, not having one myself, there's no way that the other person's cock will feel itself hitting the prostate, the only way you know is your partners reaction. Even with fingers, you know more from the reaction, not the feel. I believe it just feels - to the observer - like another part of the wall of the anus, slightly firmer than the muscle around it (edit to note, to those in the know, it can be identified by touch, if you don't know what you're feeling for, you might miss it). (and fyi, apparently stimulation of the prostate just before or during orgasm makes most men orgasm harder. good to know.)
ANYWAY. These are not hard and fast rules, everyone is different and will have their own experiences. I'm certainly only talking in generalities here, and i'm certainly no expert. I'm also, for full disclosure, a heterosexual female - so my prostate is rather, well, non-existent. But given the generalities of anal sex in fiction are usually kind of wrong, the points still stand. Regardless of my opinions, experience and gathered facts, it isn't hard to research sex on the Internet (or play by yourself for that matter but i can't go there without mental images of my virginal flist doing things en masse, ergh!)
dear lord.. I think I just accidentally wrote an anal sex manual...oops?
did I forget anything else that comes up (no pun intended... well okay, a little bit intended) in fanfic sex scenes?
So under the cut:
1. the virgin tightness of Ianto's ass
2. the need for lube
3. oh the pain, the pain
4. one, two, three, cock
5. for the love of a prostate
1. On the virgin tightness of Ianto's ass - right. There is no such thing as 'virgin tight' when it comes to the ass area. Really, this should be common sense if you take a moment to think about it. What is the ass primarily used for? Got that mental image? Right, let's say you like to er, well, crap. A lot. This doesn't make your ass somehow less tight the more you do it, does it? In much the same way we don't go around having to wear nappies to stop things...falling out... Jack's cock? isn't going to know the difference between the mythical 'virgin tight' and 'one more time'. Neither is Ianto's ass for that matter. These are purely mental states.
Not to mention, the particular part of the anatomy is made up of two rings of muscle. If you use muscles, they get stronger. For a female analogy, the keigal muscle - flexing it to build strength does not make a woman's vagina looser. Ianto's ass is not going to become less tight after lots and lots of sex. Which is not to say that it might feel easier to penetrate because of the mental states of those used to the act, but the actual strength ain't gonna change. (oh, and while on the topic of tightness - the scissoring motion so common to fandom? not so easy. unless you have superman-strong fingers - also a lot of the nerves are in the muscle ring itself, so the in-out method is more pleasurable than scissoring things inside where there are less - same can be said of vaginas).
2. The need for lube - Torchwood fandom is actually pretty good at the lube use. Of course it uses a hell of a lot of it. When it comes to lube, a little goes a long way. No need to be sparing, but really, a whole bottle and no sex is gonna be happening because you'll be sliding all over each other. For those fics where there is no lube at all? Not gonna be pleasant. Unlike a vagina, anuses (anusi?) do not lubricate themselves. It's gonna hurt and cause tensing up and it just ain't gettin' in there folks. (eta - there are also alternatives to store bought lube out there.. or rather in there, say the in the fridge or bathroom, try a google search)
3. Oh the pain, the pain - I think this has to be due to a lot of fanfic being written by straight girls who haven't experienced the act themselves and so naturally superimpose what they think it must be like onto the written act. Anal sex should not hurt. At all. If it does it will be because one person is unwilling or forced upon. The act itself is pleasurable - there is a reason gay men and a fair portion of straight couples do it after all. It isn't just to hit the prostate - that's a bonus, if you're a man. There are a LOT of nerve endings down there. And yes, it is absolutely possible to come from just the penetration (that is without the prostate). Think of the way that women can have orgasms clitorally or vaginally (don't get me started on Freud!) well they can have them anally also, as can men. (oh and for women, not only is anal sex pleasurable for it's own nerve endings, but there's the fact that it's a thin wall between the anal and vaginal canals - that means stimulation of both and depending on the angle of the man, g-spot too. And if you er, play, with all three at once? thrice the fun!
To get a bit dirtier, the way the area works is that there are two rings of muscles, inner and outer. You can consciously control the outer one, the inner one not so much. Hence the need to be relaxed in order for your partner to get inside. If you're into the idea and turned on enough, there won't be a problem, and it won't hurt. Generally speaking, the 'first time' or times it won't hurt, but it might feel rather odd. Seeing as your ass to this point is only used to doing one thing, it actually feels like that's what's happening when your partner pulls out. (i know, ew) But you get over that quickly and it just feels damn good. (fyi, while still on anatomy, the icky stuff isn't stored in the rectum, it's further up in the colon, so it isn't as bad as you think - but anal sex with a full bowel might be uncomfortable, not that i want to read about enemas and bowel movements in my fic mind you, i mention this solely to be thorough. it might not be completely clean, but it isn't outright messy or anything).
4. One, Two, Three, Cock - Which brings me to the 'be prepared' motto of Torchwood fic. As the ability to have anal sex is mostly mental - in both relaxation and wanting the act to happen - it really isn't necessary to 'warm up' Ianto's ass every single time sex is had. Now the first time, it might make sense to start with fingers and then increase them, it gets the person used to the idea and the new feelings and a gradual increase in girth. And needless to say, fingers and tongues and prep can be foreplay fun in their own right all the time! Some people are going to need to be eased into enjoying the experience, or will want to be 'cause it's fun, but it isn't a hard and fast rule that they will have to be. If Ianto is horny enough and Jack has the lube, they can get right to it the first time with nary a finger in sight. (again, think of what you do in reverse.. unpleasant, but clearly the thing is made to stretch and contract without pain). In any case, it certainly doesn't have to be one finger, two fingers, three fingers, cock! every single time. That said, some people need the prep more than others, and you certainly shouldn't shy away from it - but fanfic-wise, variety is the spice of life, it doesn't need to be 123cock. (and there's a LJ username for you...)
5. For the love of a prostate and feel of a cock - The added benefit of being a man is that they have a prostate, but as I said, it isn't the be all and end all pleasure centre. However, if you have one, enjoy it! Quick anatomy one-o-one, if Ianto inserted his finger into Jack, the prostate can be found around an inch or two in and towards the front (stomach) of the guy.. ie, if Ianto was in front of Jack, he'd curl his finger inwards to hit it. (side note, the perineum is also a good place to tease because of its situational connection with the prostate). As far as I know, not having one myself, there's no way that the other person's cock will feel itself hitting the prostate, the only way you know is your partners reaction. Even with fingers, you know more from the reaction, not the feel. I believe it just feels - to the observer - like another part of the wall of the anus, slightly firmer than the muscle around it (edit to note, to those in the know, it can be identified by touch, if you don't know what you're feeling for, you might miss it). (and fyi, apparently stimulation of the prostate just before or during orgasm makes most men orgasm harder. good to know.)
ANYWAY. These are not hard and fast rules, everyone is different and will have their own experiences. I'm certainly only talking in generalities here, and i'm certainly no expert. I'm also, for full disclosure, a heterosexual female - so my prostate is rather, well, non-existent. But given the generalities of anal sex in fiction are usually kind of wrong, the points still stand. Regardless of my opinions, experience and gathered facts, it isn't hard to research sex on the Internet (or play by yourself for that matter but i can't go there without mental images of my virginal flist doing things en masse, ergh!)
dear lord.. I think I just accidentally wrote an anal sex manual...oops?
did I forget anything else that comes up (no pun intended... well okay, a little bit intended) in fanfic sex scenes?