and so i tells him
so i gots to remind myself to retain the focus on this coming saturday cuz dating is going to make me feel like guys are kind of tools no mater whether i'm in grad school or not, and since i want to be in grad school there is no sense in getting agro feelings about guys. Even if said guy calls me to make sure i understand that all he can really deal with from me is a few drinks and some sex. Not that i'm anti capping a nightcap with some sex, particularly with said guy (with whom sex has been quite nice) but jeezhus h christ that's sooo limiting. so i tells him i says well you know i says well look here it's like this, i'm not gonna not be me you know, i'm not gonna suddenly become boring or disenganged or unconcerned or cut myself off as an emotional being...god i was such a girl in that conversation...and the thing of it all is this, that i didn't expect to have some big deal thing with him, i like him, like the sex, like how we interact and like getting excited about him but i wasn't like thinking marriage or long term thoughts, just kind of dwelling in the pleasantness. i'm mostly annoyed that he killed my romance buzz with his whole all i can handle is sex spiel. i mean duh. like that needed stating, how boring. anyway the other guy, the one who's good for gallery openings and inviting me out but can't manage to just stick it in still likes me...maybe i can divide my needs between the two of them. i have a feeling that would end in tears. ah well think grad school thought grad school thoughts grad school thoughts. (in six years or less (or more) i could be doctor subcommandante bubbles)