More tired = good sign?
I think Ima make one of those "Care and Feeding of teh Me" posts sometime soon. So whenever someone asks "What/why XYZ with you?" I can just say, look, here's a list already posted to teh internets. Hooray. Like an Unwellness Resume.
Been having some low points this week, of the emotional sort. Then I remembered that this might be PMS week, and they became less pointed, so that's good. But mostly about "What if this *doesn't* have a fix, what if I'm just struggling and spaced out forever?" And ... I don't really have an answer for that right now, so I'm just going to ignore it until I do. Not the healthiest action, but its the only one I have the brain cells for right nao :-P
In more fun (yet still angst-related) news, someone is making a contemporary Jane Eyre vlog series in the style of LBD. And ... OMG teh feels. I don't think it really struck me until now that yah, this is the book we hand to lonely pre-teens with no friends, for REASONS. In this version of the story, a lonely young nursing student named Jane watched the LBD's and thought, "What if I started vloging? Would I make friends then? Lizzie has such a nice life, I wish mine could be that nice." And ... argh, RIGHT IN THE FEELS.
The production values are lower for this production, but that plus the reference to LBD actually makes it feel *more* appropriate, rather than a lesser production. Lizzie Bennet has an awesome looking vlog from the beginning b/c she has tons of support btw friends, family, and teachers. Jane doesn't have any of that, not even a Charlotte to edit her vids. She's shy, introspective, & awkward, high in intelligence but with fewer skills (so far). Its just ... OMG FEELS. But I guess given that I read this book as a pre-teen, and then again as a teen, and never read any Austin, I definitely had more connection to this novel to begin with.
Its been trenchcoat & boot weather this week, so that's actually been very pleasant. Also, helped me come to the conclusion that I really need to replace my docs ASAP, b/c I'm tired of worrying about getting trenchfoot from NYC puddles :-P And I realized I can still keep my old Docs, and dress them up for costuming somehow, if I have that much energy ever again. And I think I'm going to risk the Macy's website to get a different style of tall docs than my old pair, b/c I have gift certificates and card-holder discounts (to offset possible future new zipper surgery). And then I'll just have to cross my fingers that they don't screw me over on delivery again.
Health wise, things have been a bit odd this week. I've been getting more sleepy and uncoordinated around 9pm every night, instead of getting that 10pm energy surge which makes me miss my bedtime for distractions. Both worrying *and* welcome. It could just be that I've managed to not sneak in any chocolate after work. Other sugary things, sure, but not the slightly caffienated chocolate. Or it could be adrenalin withdrawal, which could indicate that my adrenal glands are slowly unf#$%ing themselves. Or allergies. Or weather (tho I actually like this weather so far).
Unfortunately, I'm still not falling asleep that quickly. I think all the new pillows are now *too* soft, so luckily I didn't throw out all of the old ones yet. I guess I need a soft pillow on top of a firm one, or something. Also it's been extra warm in my apartment at night, despite my new super-fan & the fluctuating weather outside, and the a/c needs some maintenance before I can fire it up for the season. So that's been weird.
But the sleep stuff is making me feel justified in continuing my hermit-ing for another few weeks. I might not have noticed this if I'd gone "OK, its post b'day, lets go hang out and do stuff!" in the evenings. Now that its noticed, I can try to make it work for me. I hopes.
Also started setting my alarm 15 minutes earlier, so I can have a leisurely stroll to the train stop (instead of a break neck speed walk), and still get to work 20 mins early. Or on time, depending on train f'ery. I could also use that extra time for exercise, if I could remember that exercise is a thing that exists at 8am in the morning :-P
Tummy is behaving more, but still not really *well* yet. And I'm having some extra tiny stomach cramps, possibly due to the extra magnesium, so I'll see if that goes away. Tho I've had worse, so I'm kinda 'Yeah, whatevs'. Tho due to some things that friends have gone through recently, every time I have a lower back pain some part of my brain yells "OMG KIDNEYS!" I really hope its just a muscle cramp. I think if my kidneys had been failing this whole time, *something* would have come up in a blood test by this point, right? Actually, tons of things, b/c I would have ended up in the ER. I think. Time to check some things on webmd methinks... Ugh.
Feeling sleepier at night also means that when I finally got my newly ordered cheap dresses home, I totally forgot to try them on. *sigh* Tho I'm still expecting them to be too wide in the bust, so this weekend there will be some sewing for garment alterations. I also have a knit dress to finish, at least so I can put it away, so a tiny bit of pattern sewing. Certainly not cutting fabric, b/c I haven't done laundry in 3 weeks, so that drying rack will be taking up the 'living room nook' all weekend. I also figured out how to make my geek-patches shirt more wearable again, by tucking *up* rather than *in* so it sits above my hipline.
Will probably take out the DCon costumey patterns, and weight my options. I said I'd have to start working on them in June if I was going to have them at all. But the guy building my Washu puppets hasn't gotten back to me in a few months, and I doubt I'll have any more ppl *reliably* on board about the Steampunk'd B5 costume group this year. On the other hand, I was looking forward to better jewelry for my Delenn costume. And the sewing projects may be a good opportunity to learn to be less OMG STRESS about sewing. Like making sure I only work on thing for 2-3 hour bursts each weekend-day, and see how that works. If that *does* work, I could finally finish up what's left in my fabric/pattern bin without destroying what little piece of mind I have left right now.
Also, I gotta buy the plane tix. With anonymous browsing, as recommended by teh interwebs. And start looking for roommates. And find a groceries strategy for downtown Atlanta so I can neither starve nor poison myself while I'm there. *headdesk*
I really, REALLY need to just finish the balcony. C'mon Chrysilla, just suck it up and do it already. Get the things at the home stores, throw out the old stuff, scrub the floor with that nice scrubby broom, put the new stuff outside. The End. You've got a whole extra day to recover from it this weekend. And then one less annoying thing to worry (and blog) about. So hopefully I don't crash out between now and Tuesday.
B/c of the pre-holiday hour off we get in my office, I get to go home at 5pm. Getting me back to my neighborhood 2 hours earlier than usual for a Friday, so all of those nice stores will still be open. Ima try to do all of those things tonight if I can, between home stores and groceries, but at the very least I need to pick up my prescriptions and some noms. Then I can stay in my building all weekend, and just work on household stuff and sleeping.
Is there some way to practice at sleeping until I get better at it? I'm unconscious while its happening, so I've never been able to figure out how.
<3 Chrysilla
Crossposted from Dreamwidth, http://chrysilla.dreamwidth.org/
Been having some low points this week, of the emotional sort. Then I remembered that this might be PMS week, and they became less pointed, so that's good. But mostly about "What if this *doesn't* have a fix, what if I'm just struggling and spaced out forever?" And ... I don't really have an answer for that right now, so I'm just going to ignore it until I do. Not the healthiest action, but its the only one I have the brain cells for right nao :-P
In more fun (yet still angst-related) news, someone is making a contemporary Jane Eyre vlog series in the style of LBD. And ... OMG teh feels. I don't think it really struck me until now that yah, this is the book we hand to lonely pre-teens with no friends, for REASONS. In this version of the story, a lonely young nursing student named Jane watched the LBD's and thought, "What if I started vloging? Would I make friends then? Lizzie has such a nice life, I wish mine could be that nice." And ... argh, RIGHT IN THE FEELS.
The production values are lower for this production, but that plus the reference to LBD actually makes it feel *more* appropriate, rather than a lesser production. Lizzie Bennet has an awesome looking vlog from the beginning b/c she has tons of support btw friends, family, and teachers. Jane doesn't have any of that, not even a Charlotte to edit her vids. She's shy, introspective, & awkward, high in intelligence but with fewer skills (so far). Its just ... OMG FEELS. But I guess given that I read this book as a pre-teen, and then again as a teen, and never read any Austin, I definitely had more connection to this novel to begin with.
Its been trenchcoat & boot weather this week, so that's actually been very pleasant. Also, helped me come to the conclusion that I really need to replace my docs ASAP, b/c I'm tired of worrying about getting trenchfoot from NYC puddles :-P And I realized I can still keep my old Docs, and dress them up for costuming somehow, if I have that much energy ever again. And I think I'm going to risk the Macy's website to get a different style of tall docs than my old pair, b/c I have gift certificates and card-holder discounts (to offset possible future new zipper surgery). And then I'll just have to cross my fingers that they don't screw me over on delivery again.
Health wise, things have been a bit odd this week. I've been getting more sleepy and uncoordinated around 9pm every night, instead of getting that 10pm energy surge which makes me miss my bedtime for distractions. Both worrying *and* welcome. It could just be that I've managed to not sneak in any chocolate after work. Other sugary things, sure, but not the slightly caffienated chocolate. Or it could be adrenalin withdrawal, which could indicate that my adrenal glands are slowly unf#$%ing themselves. Or allergies. Or weather (tho I actually like this weather so far).
Unfortunately, I'm still not falling asleep that quickly. I think all the new pillows are now *too* soft, so luckily I didn't throw out all of the old ones yet. I guess I need a soft pillow on top of a firm one, or something. Also it's been extra warm in my apartment at night, despite my new super-fan & the fluctuating weather outside, and the a/c needs some maintenance before I can fire it up for the season. So that's been weird.
But the sleep stuff is making me feel justified in continuing my hermit-ing for another few weeks. I might not have noticed this if I'd gone "OK, its post b'day, lets go hang out and do stuff!" in the evenings. Now that its noticed, I can try to make it work for me. I hopes.
Also started setting my alarm 15 minutes earlier, so I can have a leisurely stroll to the train stop (instead of a break neck speed walk), and still get to work 20 mins early. Or on time, depending on train f'ery. I could also use that extra time for exercise, if I could remember that exercise is a thing that exists at 8am in the morning :-P
Tummy is behaving more, but still not really *well* yet. And I'm having some extra tiny stomach cramps, possibly due to the extra magnesium, so I'll see if that goes away. Tho I've had worse, so I'm kinda 'Yeah, whatevs'. Tho due to some things that friends have gone through recently, every time I have a lower back pain some part of my brain yells "OMG KIDNEYS!" I really hope its just a muscle cramp. I think if my kidneys had been failing this whole time, *something* would have come up in a blood test by this point, right? Actually, tons of things, b/c I would have ended up in the ER. I think. Time to check some things on webmd methinks... Ugh.
Feeling sleepier at night also means that when I finally got my newly ordered cheap dresses home, I totally forgot to try them on. *sigh* Tho I'm still expecting them to be too wide in the bust, so this weekend there will be some sewing for garment alterations. I also have a knit dress to finish, at least so I can put it away, so a tiny bit of pattern sewing. Certainly not cutting fabric, b/c I haven't done laundry in 3 weeks, so that drying rack will be taking up the 'living room nook' all weekend. I also figured out how to make my geek-patches shirt more wearable again, by tucking *up* rather than *in* so it sits above my hipline.
Will probably take out the DCon costumey patterns, and weight my options. I said I'd have to start working on them in June if I was going to have them at all. But the guy building my Washu puppets hasn't gotten back to me in a few months, and I doubt I'll have any more ppl *reliably* on board about the Steampunk'd B5 costume group this year. On the other hand, I was looking forward to better jewelry for my Delenn costume. And the sewing projects may be a good opportunity to learn to be less OMG STRESS about sewing. Like making sure I only work on thing for 2-3 hour bursts each weekend-day, and see how that works. If that *does* work, I could finally finish up what's left in my fabric/pattern bin without destroying what little piece of mind I have left right now.
Also, I gotta buy the plane tix. With anonymous browsing, as recommended by teh interwebs. And start looking for roommates. And find a groceries strategy for downtown Atlanta so I can neither starve nor poison myself while I'm there. *headdesk*
I really, REALLY need to just finish the balcony. C'mon Chrysilla, just suck it up and do it already. Get the things at the home stores, throw out the old stuff, scrub the floor with that nice scrubby broom, put the new stuff outside. The End. You've got a whole extra day to recover from it this weekend. And then one less annoying thing to worry (and blog) about. So hopefully I don't crash out between now and Tuesday.
B/c of the pre-holiday hour off we get in my office, I get to go home at 5pm. Getting me back to my neighborhood 2 hours earlier than usual for a Friday, so all of those nice stores will still be open. Ima try to do all of those things tonight if I can, between home stores and groceries, but at the very least I need to pick up my prescriptions and some noms. Then I can stay in my building all weekend, and just work on household stuff and sleeping.
Is there some way to practice at sleeping until I get better at it? I'm unconscious while its happening, so I've never been able to figure out how.
<3 Chrysilla
Crossposted from Dreamwidth, http://chrysilla.dreamwidth.org/