Small steps in broke down boots.
I accomplished things on a weeknight! OMG!
Thursday night, the longest weeknight for me, I made a chain necklace, finished off a woven necklace that was just sitting around for some reason, and started another chain necklace. Instead of sitting around feeling bored.
Furthermore, I got home at 6pm and felt kinda punchy, but in an "I'm awake and have energy," way rather than "I wanna go home and collapse get out of my way," way. So I microwaved leftovers for dinner, and started working on stuff b/c I didn't know how long it would last. I started spacing out again around 11pm, just in time to start getting ready for bed.
It was still hard getting motivated to make stuff. Not sure if I'm just out of practice or if I have the jeweler's equivalent of blank-page-fright. (There were some other hangups too, which can go without saying in a public forum, *shrugs*.) I'm not sure how I feel about the second necklace, but it utilizes both old backlog and a bunch of new stuff I picked up at NYWBS, malachite + black lava. But I didn't feel as *tingly* excited about it as some other projects I've done. And the first project reminded me that I need to practice my wire wrapping some more :-P
Also made an order to FMG for more travel-kit projects, and actually picked out materials to go together for these projects before buying them, so that's new and exciting. Also ordered some new (hopefully sturdier) materials to try out in bead stringing projects. And a couple of standard needful things like sterling earring hooks. Which I haven't ordered from FMG before, but the place I used to get them in NYC seems to not be the same store anymore, so better find a new supplier. Sterling and copper have seriously shot up in price since I first started doing this tho, yikes.
Was dragging my feet and brain all week, then felt noticeably better starting Thursday afternoon (despite accidentally packing twice as much chocolate in my lunch bag, whups). Wednesday nite was anti-anxiety acupuncture, but also a thunderstorm which would have washed all the confused summer pollen out of the air before cooling down the city again. And I had been having a lot of behind-the-eyes headaches (allergies? sinuses?) this week. So not sure if one or both helped.
My dreams have become gradually less vivid and stressful, but I had at least one dream this week about being at some con and running around. That, plus last week's larp dream, and Sunday nite's super boring improv dream, is giving me some indication of where even my unconscious would rather be.
Also this week- mailed my taxes, finally communicated with the con that I can't attend in late April due to health reasons (and they were really nice about it, so I'm even sadder about not going), and started unraveling more new problems with new/old FMLA claims at work (UGH WHY UGH).
It seems the insurance company took the paperwork I sent them for the new year-long FMLA intermittent-leave claim (sent to me via snail mail after requesting the new claim forms through their hotline), and instead applied it to extending the old claim by 6 months. And these claims each have a different person working on them. Now they want me to send the exact same form *again* (that would be the fifth time since January) for the full year claim. And my HR department is all confused. And my doctor is tired of filling out this same exact form over and over.
And its things like this that make self employment more attractive. My own department works fine, but as soon as I need to call someone on the outside, things quickly dissolve into chaos. My HR rep thinks she has enough info to fix it thru her department now, but I had already called the person at the insurance company in charge of my year-long claim and left my cel #, so she called me back on my home lan-line instead. Didn't get it until I got home from work that evening, and they're only open 9am-4pm each day. I don't have a whole lot of faith left in this company.
Its things like these that make self employment that much more attractive. Working for myself might make sick days more of a financial hit, but at least I won't have to justify to *myself* that yes, I really do get a lot of sinus infections. My own department is a rather nice place to work, where things are straight forward and my bosses are nice. But once you have to call someone on the outside for something, the system quickly descends into chaos. Tho if I'm not the only case of trouble with this company, maybe we can go back to the old one next year :-P.
Due to the need for beads I had planned to put off replacing my boots until May, but forgot about that whole "April showers" thing. And there's a hole in the right sole. Oops. I also need to replace the nice arch-supporting mary jane shaped sneakers that I have. While I've put a moratorium on buying clothes this year, I think I can justify replacing worn out shoes as long as it doesn't spark a shopping binge.
Still trying to decide whether I want another pair of Docs, or put the legwork (lol) into finding a sturdier boot which I won't have to replace the zippers on (for a $50 between the two of them :-P), and which will actually give me traction on snow and ice (the docs never did). But that takes energy. A friend recommended Timberlake and Grinders, but neither seems to have the tall, sleek black boots with a side zipper according to the internet. Harumph, shopping. Happy to hear more brand recommendations.
There are things on the to-do list for this weekend like normal, but I'm wondering if I'd be better off doing more jewelry work instead of cleaning the balcony. Still gonna clean the bathroom and kitchen tho, esp the kitchen, since its spring pest season. I'm weighing "Things that make me $$" vs. "Having more places to sit around the house." I could make more shiny things and/or photograph them, and that might be a better investment of time in the long run. Also... how much will I really utilize the outdoor space given the increasing pollen? At least I already have plans for creepy-neighbor shielding.
I will also try cooking leg-of-lamb again (CC supplies permitting). But this time, no weird doubled/tripled recipes or fancy sauces, just roasting in the oven. And I won't be experimenting with my nighttime meds during the day at the same time for this'un :-P.
Was contemplating exercise again, and how annoying it is to schedule into my day when I have so much trouble getting up in time for work. But on more thought, mornings are really only horrible Tuesday thru Thursday. Friday and Monday have later starts, and then there's the weekend. So maybe I can establish exercising Friday thru Monday, four out of seven days a week, and that could help some things. Yay reframing.
Overall, hermitting experiment seems to be starting to work. I had the energy/focus to make shiny things in my own home this week, and that's more than previous weeks. I can't learn to thrive until I re-learn how to survive.
<3 Chrysilla
Crossposted from Dreamwidth, http://chrysilla.dreamwidth.org/
Thursday night, the longest weeknight for me, I made a chain necklace, finished off a woven necklace that was just sitting around for some reason, and started another chain necklace. Instead of sitting around feeling bored.
Furthermore, I got home at 6pm and felt kinda punchy, but in an "I'm awake and have energy," way rather than "I wanna go home and collapse get out of my way," way. So I microwaved leftovers for dinner, and started working on stuff b/c I didn't know how long it would last. I started spacing out again around 11pm, just in time to start getting ready for bed.
It was still hard getting motivated to make stuff. Not sure if I'm just out of practice or if I have the jeweler's equivalent of blank-page-fright. (There were some other hangups too, which can go without saying in a public forum, *shrugs*.) I'm not sure how I feel about the second necklace, but it utilizes both old backlog and a bunch of new stuff I picked up at NYWBS, malachite + black lava. But I didn't feel as *tingly* excited about it as some other projects I've done. And the first project reminded me that I need to practice my wire wrapping some more :-P
Also made an order to FMG for more travel-kit projects, and actually picked out materials to go together for these projects before buying them, so that's new and exciting. Also ordered some new (hopefully sturdier) materials to try out in bead stringing projects. And a couple of standard needful things like sterling earring hooks. Which I haven't ordered from FMG before, but the place I used to get them in NYC seems to not be the same store anymore, so better find a new supplier. Sterling and copper have seriously shot up in price since I first started doing this tho, yikes.
Was dragging my feet and brain all week, then felt noticeably better starting Thursday afternoon (despite accidentally packing twice as much chocolate in my lunch bag, whups). Wednesday nite was anti-anxiety acupuncture, but also a thunderstorm which would have washed all the confused summer pollen out of the air before cooling down the city again. And I had been having a lot of behind-the-eyes headaches (allergies? sinuses?) this week. So not sure if one or both helped.
My dreams have become gradually less vivid and stressful, but I had at least one dream this week about being at some con and running around. That, plus last week's larp dream, and Sunday nite's super boring improv dream, is giving me some indication of where even my unconscious would rather be.
Also this week- mailed my taxes, finally communicated with the con that I can't attend in late April due to health reasons (and they were really nice about it, so I'm even sadder about not going), and started unraveling more new problems with new/old FMLA claims at work (UGH WHY UGH).
It seems the insurance company took the paperwork I sent them for the new year-long FMLA intermittent-leave claim (sent to me via snail mail after requesting the new claim forms through their hotline), and instead applied it to extending the old claim by 6 months. And these claims each have a different person working on them. Now they want me to send the exact same form *again* (that would be the fifth time since January) for the full year claim. And my HR department is all confused. And my doctor is tired of filling out this same exact form over and over.
And its things like this that make self employment more attractive. My own department works fine, but as soon as I need to call someone on the outside, things quickly dissolve into chaos. My HR rep thinks she has enough info to fix it thru her department now, but I had already called the person at the insurance company in charge of my year-long claim and left my cel #, so she called me back on my home lan-line instead. Didn't get it until I got home from work that evening, and they're only open 9am-4pm each day. I don't have a whole lot of faith left in this company.
Its things like these that make self employment that much more attractive. Working for myself might make sick days more of a financial hit, but at least I won't have to justify to *myself* that yes, I really do get a lot of sinus infections. My own department is a rather nice place to work, where things are straight forward and my bosses are nice. But once you have to call someone on the outside for something, the system quickly descends into chaos. Tho if I'm not the only case of trouble with this company, maybe we can go back to the old one next year :-P.
Due to the need for beads I had planned to put off replacing my boots until May, but forgot about that whole "April showers" thing. And there's a hole in the right sole. Oops. I also need to replace the nice arch-supporting mary jane shaped sneakers that I have. While I've put a moratorium on buying clothes this year, I think I can justify replacing worn out shoes as long as it doesn't spark a shopping binge.
Still trying to decide whether I want another pair of Docs, or put the legwork (lol) into finding a sturdier boot which I won't have to replace the zippers on (for a $50 between the two of them :-P), and which will actually give me traction on snow and ice (the docs never did). But that takes energy. A friend recommended Timberlake and Grinders, but neither seems to have the tall, sleek black boots with a side zipper according to the internet. Harumph, shopping. Happy to hear more brand recommendations.
There are things on the to-do list for this weekend like normal, but I'm wondering if I'd be better off doing more jewelry work instead of cleaning the balcony. Still gonna clean the bathroom and kitchen tho, esp the kitchen, since its spring pest season. I'm weighing "Things that make me $$" vs. "Having more places to sit around the house." I could make more shiny things and/or photograph them, and that might be a better investment of time in the long run. Also... how much will I really utilize the outdoor space given the increasing pollen? At least I already have plans for creepy-neighbor shielding.
I will also try cooking leg-of-lamb again (CC supplies permitting). But this time, no weird doubled/tripled recipes or fancy sauces, just roasting in the oven. And I won't be experimenting with my nighttime meds during the day at the same time for this'un :-P.
Was contemplating exercise again, and how annoying it is to schedule into my day when I have so much trouble getting up in time for work. But on more thought, mornings are really only horrible Tuesday thru Thursday. Friday and Monday have later starts, and then there's the weekend. So maybe I can establish exercising Friday thru Monday, four out of seven days a week, and that could help some things. Yay reframing.
Overall, hermitting experiment seems to be starting to work. I had the energy/focus to make shiny things in my own home this week, and that's more than previous weeks. I can't learn to thrive until I re-learn how to survive.
<3 Chrysilla
Crossposted from Dreamwidth, http://chrysilla.dreamwidth.org/