The Knack -- Or Its Lack
I am, as I have always been, an introvert.
I need a certain amount of alone time on a consistent basis or I go nuts.
But I have lost the knack of being alone.
I have lost the knack of being at peace with it.
I resent the fact that now when I think about doing something fun I almost inevitably wish that there was someone here to share the experience with me. I wasn't that way Before.
Before, I didn't really experience "lonely."
I do now.
That said, I am at a place where grief-related posts aren't going to be using the fully-veiled Arwen icon anymore. This icon acknowledges loss, but the pain in it is less acute.
It's a cropped version of a painting called "Black Widow" by Jeff Johnson. Shortly before he died, Lohain refered to me as "The Goddess Widow." It's not a title I ever wanted, but it seems to be part of my path this time around.
I need a certain amount of alone time on a consistent basis or I go nuts.
But I have lost the knack of being alone.
I have lost the knack of being at peace with it.
I resent the fact that now when I think about doing something fun I almost inevitably wish that there was someone here to share the experience with me. I wasn't that way Before.
Before, I didn't really experience "lonely."
I do now.
That said, I am at a place where grief-related posts aren't going to be using the fully-veiled Arwen icon anymore. This icon acknowledges loss, but the pain in it is less acute.
It's a cropped version of a painting called "Black Widow" by Jeff Johnson. Shortly before he died, Lohain refered to me as "The Goddess Widow." It's not a title I ever wanted, but it seems to be part of my path this time around.