2013 LuRe Yule Challenge - Wonderland Part Four/Six
Title: Wonderland
Author: Qjilla28
Pairing: Luke and Reid
Rating: PG to NC17
Word Count:17,108
Warnings: mention of Noah, some minor angst
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters or profit from them
Summary: What if Reid had followed his original plan to take Noah back to Dallas and what if, although advised not to, Luke had followed anyway? What if, instead of being by Noah's side, Luke found himself inexplicably drawn to the last person on earth he'd ever imagine falling for? And what if that man found himself returning Luke's feelings? Would the two end up together, happily ever after? Or would life (and maybe a jealous ex boyfriend) get in the way of their plans? And what happens if they should, by some odd coincidence, find themselves thrown together again almost two years later, in a little place called...Wonderland?
A/N: A heartfelt thank you to the talented michaela1969 for my beautiful banner. How lucky we are to have so many talented artists in this fandom! And a special thank you to tldreamer for coordinating this challenge. Your hard work is greatly appreciated!
WONDERLAND - Part Four
December 22, 2011 - Lake Tahoe, Nevada
LUKE
I've got to make Reid understand. This is too important to me. To us. "When we got back to Oakdale, I explained to Noah that it was over. For good this time. He had his eye sight back and didn't need me anymore. Suffice it to say that he didn't make it easy for me. I wanted him to see that my feelings toward him had changed, that I was interested in someone else."
"That must have gone over well," he says with a smirk, leaning back into the couch.
"It didn't help that in the middle of trying to tell him about what happened in Dallas after he so thoroughly dismissed me, I got violently ill all over my mother's living room. You should have seen her face when she walked in. They called the paramedics, rushed me to Memorial and the rest, quite honestly, is kind of a blur." I sigh and sit back next to him, our shoulders touching.
"Do you remember anything about that time? Do you remember seeing me? Did you even know that I came?" He expression is one of hurt and confusion.
I turn my head so I'm facing him and I say, almost in a whisper, "I remember. You were sitting on the side of my bed. You were stroking my hair, telling me something about how I had to take care of my kidney. You said you wanted the whole enchilada. You willed me to get better, Reid. You stayed with me for a long time. And then...you left."
He's silent for what seems like ages. And then he says, "I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have left."
I sit up slightly, still facing him. “Then why did you?”
“It was a mistake. And then it was too late.”
I feel the tears starting too well in the corners of my eyes. He can see the devastation in my face, because without hesitation, he moves forward and clasps his hand around the nape of my neck. He pulls me toward him and kisses me. It starts out slowly, his soft lips grazing mine, and begins to intensify. He bites lightly on my lower lip and when I gasp, he slips his tongue in, searching and exploring the inside of my mouth. My hands find his waist as I thrust my body against his. All the feelings are still there. Caring and lust and the knowledge that we are so right together.
I move away from his mouth before things get too heavy, and bury my face in his neck. I can feel him inhaling and nuzzling my hair with his cheek, just holding me. I want to get beyond that time and move forward.
“It doesn’t have to be too late,” I say into his throat.
He pulls back, just enough to look me in the eyes. I stare up at him, getting lost in his piercing blue oceans.
“No,” he replies and clears his throat. “But you need to know what happened.”
There’s a knock on the door and I jump up. “I almost completely forgot!” I say with a smile.
Reid raises an eyebrow. “Are we expecting company?”
I dash over and open the door. The room service attendant wastes no time rolling in a cart, loaded with decadent desserts. It’s exactly what I wanted. He wheels the cart over to the table and begins exchanging the old platters with the new. In no time the table is transformed. There is an overload of pastries and pies, cookies and cakes, and a large chocolate mousse truffle with two spoons. The last thing the attendant does is move a tray with coffee and creamer onto the drink cart.
We exchange a few words, and I thank him as he pushes his food cart back into the hallway. Before I can say anything, Reid is back at the table. I laugh watching him stuff cookies in his mouth as he loads up his plate with pie and cake. He looks to be enjoying himself and I feel a new swell of emotion.
“Having fun?” I ask as I take my seat and pour us each a cup of coffee.
“Almost as good as sex,” he assures me, with his mouth full.
I laugh again. God, I love being with this man. But we were getting somewhere before my dessert cart arrived and I want to finish. “So, I hate to kill your sugar buzz,” I say hesitantly. “But, I’d still like to know why. Why did you leave Oakdale when I was in the hospital? Why did you tell me you wanted me and then turn around and leave anyway?”
“Why do you think?” He is clearly more occupied with his food than thoughts of me on my death bed.
“I don’t know. I guess I just figured you changed your mind. You saw that I was damaged goods and decided I wasn’t worth the trouble. I get that. And I don’t blame you for not wanting…”
“Damaged…not worth the…what are you talking about? You think an infected kidney would scare me away? Do you have any idea how I felt about you, Luke? How hard it was to turn my back?” He’s nearly shouting now and I feel like an idiot for accusing him of being so shallow.
“Well, like I said, I wouldn’t blame you if you thought I wasn't worth the trouble. God knows, you wouldn’t be the first person.” I hate how pathetic I sound, but I resigned myself to the idea that Reid figured out who I really was a long time ago, and had decided to end things before they started.
He looks at me for a minute like I have two heads and then continues consuming a large slice of pecan pie. When he’s finished, he pushes his chair back from the table, but doesn’t stand up.
“I really don’t know who is the bigger idiot here,” he starts. “You for thinking that I care about some stupid mistake you made years ago or me for believing your asshole of an ex-boyfriend.”
Now I’m totally confused. “What are you talking about? What does Noah have to do with any of this?”
He pulls his chair back in and reaches for the truffle. After he’s swallowed a few very impressive spoonfuls, he passes it over to me. “Mmmm…you should really try this mousse thingy.”
His attempts at deflecting aren’t going to work with me. Ever. “Reid. Tell me what happened with Noah. I deserve to know the truth.”
He sighs and runs his hands through his hair. I hate how difficult all of this is for him, but we’ve lost so much time, too much time.
“Okay. Here it is. Everything you wanted to know about June of 2010.” He takes a sip of his coffee and swallows hard. “After you and Noah left Dallas something felt off. Maybe I just got used to having you around. I don’t know. I felt like I was crawling out of my skin. So I decided to take matters into my own hands regarding the hospital expansion in Oakdale. I called Bob Hughes. When I expressed an interest in returning to Memorial, he got well…excited. That is, as excited as a man of his advanced age can get without having some sort of an acute myocardial infarction.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. My voice is high and a little squeaky. “You actually pursued the position at Memorial? You really wanted to come back?”
“That’s what I said, Luke.” He takes the opportunity to bite into a large gingerbread cookie.
“But that’s…I just…wow!” I’m babbling and he frowns at me.
“May I continue now?” he asks, looking suddenly quite uncomfortable.
“I’m sorry. Of course,” I twist my fingers over my mouth making a “my-lips-are-locked” gesture.
“Quit apologizing,” he snarks and wipes his mouth with his napkin. “So Bob is all over the idea of my returning, but informs me that one of the prospective main donors is currently unavailable to attend the board meeting scheduled for that week. That all discussion of the new wing has been tabled for the time being.”
My guilt surrounding that entire period of time is resurfacing. “And that donor was me,” I say quietly.
He narrows his eyes and continues. “I knew something wasn’t right and I pushed Bob until he gave me all the information I needed. You were in the hospital and quite ill. I guess you could say I was a little panicked, but it explained why I hadn’t heard from you.”
“Oh my God. I wanted to call you the minute I got home. I wanted to turn around and get on the next flight to Dallas. I just couldn’t…”
“You don’t have to explain. I saw you, remember? I also accessed your medical file. Don’t be upset. I had to know what was going on.” I know that Reid tends to be all business when it comes to medical situations.
“I understand. I appreciate your concern.” I let out a little chuckle. “They must have loved having to deal with you again at Memorial.”
He ignores my little remark but gives me a quick flash of a smile. “Anyway, after talking to Bob, I called Katie who enthusiastically encouraged me to get my ass back to Oakdale. That night I was at your bedside.”
I remember the feeling of relief having Reid with me while I struggled to remain conscious. “Thank you for coming. It meant more to me than you’ll ever know. Hard as it might be to believe, you calmed me. Just knowing you were there gave me the confidence to know I’d recover. I had to get better so I could be with you. Now tell me about Noah.”
“Noah,” he spits out. “Noah is a pain in the ass. And he was not at all happy to see me. There’s a big surprise.”
I can’t even imagine what transpired between the two men. “But you cured him. You gave him back his eyesight.”
“Yeah. He kept forgetting that part. He was more focused on the ‘you stole my boyfriend’ aspect of our arrangement. We actually had two little run-ins.”
“You and Noah got into it twice? Oh God, Reid. I’m so sorry. I wish I had known. I wish I could have…”
“Could have what? Stopped him? Fat chance. The first time we met he dismissed me as his doctor. Which was good, because I told him exactly what what I thought of him. And, I got the satisfaction of throwing him out of an exam room.” He stops, and shakes his head. “The second time we met, he went for the jugular. And it didn’t hurt that he had your dear sweet mother at his side.”
“My mother? He recruited my mom? So typical. But I have no doubt you could hold your own with those two. Even at their worse, you’d get the last word, right?”
He thinks for a minute and then admits, “I’m afraid you’re my kryptonite, Luke. I find myself powerless when it comes to you.”
“How bad was it?” I feel myself getting warm and can't help smiling, knowing that I have such a profound affect on Reid.
“Well, let’s just say that I was told under no uncertain terms that you belonged to Noah and when you went home it was going to be with him. Oh, and that my services at your bedside were no longer necessary or welcome.”
“They had no right. How could Noah do that? How can he come here tomorrow and look you in the eye, knowing he lied like that? Knowing he was ruining everything for us?"
“You know what? Fuck Noah. I was the jerk who left. Katie told me to stay and fight, and I didn’t think there was anything left to fight for. I knew you were worth it. I knew you deserved so much better than that loser. But I thought that’s what you wanted. And to be truthful, I just wanted you to be happy.”
“But I was happy. Happy with you, Reid. Even though we had only been together a short time in Dallas, It was clear to me that you were the one I was meant to be with. Not Noah. And now you have to face him again tomorrow. How can you even look at him? How can I face my own mother knowing that they’ve kept us apart for so long? I thought you didn’t want me any more. I thought… ”
I feel like I’m going to lose it. I don’t understand how people who claim to love me could manipulate me so completely. I think of how my mother listened as I told her what happened in Dallas. How she tried to tell me that Reid didn’t deserve me if he could so easily turn his back on me, all the while knowing that she was the cause of his departure.
Reid just shrugs his shoulders. “Like I said, we were both idiots.”
I stand up and start to pace. I’m getting angrier by the minute. I’m tired of everyone trying to control my life. Just when I think I’m finally being treated like an adult, being shown some respect and given my space, I learn this. I learn that my mother and my ex-boyfriend drove the one person who has ever shown me an ounce of civility, right out of my life.
I can feel my body starting to shake. “I can’t believe this. I don’t know if I want to tell them both off or never speak to either one of them again.” The tears are flowing now and when I turn around Reid is standing there. He grasps my arms.
“Luke, they aren’t worth it. What they did is shitty, but it happened. And there’s nothing we can do to change the past. We can, however, do something about the present.” His expression is serious, and I can see the concern in his eyes.
My hands go to his shoulders. My voice is cracking. “My entire family is at my Grandmother’s ski house just a few miles from here. I’m supposed to spend the day with them tomorrow. I don’t think I can do it. I’m not ready to face her. I’ve got to get out of here, Reid.”
He smiles and pulls me in for a kiss. My hands find their way into his curls and I attack his mouth hungrily. He smells like cinnamon and spice and tastes like chocolate. I feel my body starting to relax in his arms. His tongue is moving around the inside of my mouth and his hands are moving down my back, settling on my ass. My entire being is energized and my want is overwhelming me.
I press my groin into his and feel him hard against my thigh. He breaks from the kiss and moves to take my face in his hands.
His breathing is sporadic and as he tries to get control of it he says, “Luke, if you really mean it…about getting out of here. Then I have an idea. Do you trust me?”
“With my life,” I answer, meaning it.
( WONDERLAND PART FIVE )