Measuring Up (drabble)
Title: Measuring Up
Pairing: Suhoon/Hyunmin
Genre: drabble
Word Count: 416
Rating: G
Warnings: slight cursing
Summary: Suhoon is expected to be everything he isn't.
He isn't a leader. He tells himself this every day, every hour, sometimes several times per minute.
A leader is someone who lets you use them as a pillow for five hours in the car, not saying a word when you wake up but smiling as he flexes his arm to regain feeling. A leader doesn't talk often, but when he does all he does is compliment those around him. A leader doesn't complain when he gets one line to sing in their new song. A leader doesn't mind when no one screams for him. A real leader only happens to be the oldest. He spends hours being berated by managers and producers, bowing and bowing and bowing and apologizing.
This is the leader in Suhoon's mind- an ideal he can't live up to and doesn't want to live up to. He doesn't have a smile that calms and reassures his bandmates. He can't say, "It's going to be okay," when it clearly isn't.
Which is why he's lost his leader and why he's suddenly been slapped with his new title. Because a real leader is loyal enough to stay with a company that's betrayed him, but isn't strong enough to let go and follow his friends when they ask him.
Suhoon isn't tall enough. He isn't kind enough. He'd rather smack Hyunmin than laugh at his jokes. He would never let someone sleep on him for five hours. All he has is age. "You're the oldest; you're the leader." All he wants to do is sing.
Something presses into his shoulder painfully, Hyunmin grinning at him in their reflection in the dressing-room mirror. His hair is ridiculous, but he could care less. He hums something familiar and Suhoon swats his face away. He grabs Suhoon by the waist and holds him still, ignoring the elbow-jabs and cursing; he continues humming.
"The photographer wants you next." Suhoon stops struggling, but doesn't go to leave.
"We don't have enough people." His voice is low and he isn't sure Hyunmin hears him because he's still humming.
"I think we'll be okay," he replies after a moment, letting go of Suhoon to inspect himself in the mirror. "And I think they will be, too."
"Maybe they should've made you leader," Suhoon grumbles, turning to go. He hears Hyunmin laugh out loud behind him.
"Screw that." Another quick check in the mirror and he catches up, winking. "You're way better."
Suhoon doesn't question it, because after all, how often does Hyunmin say that?
Pairing: Suhoon/Hyunmin
Genre: drabble
Word Count: 416
Rating: G
Warnings: slight cursing
Summary: Suhoon is expected to be everything he isn't.
He isn't a leader. He tells himself this every day, every hour, sometimes several times per minute.
A leader is someone who lets you use them as a pillow for five hours in the car, not saying a word when you wake up but smiling as he flexes his arm to regain feeling. A leader doesn't talk often, but when he does all he does is compliment those around him. A leader doesn't complain when he gets one line to sing in their new song. A leader doesn't mind when no one screams for him. A real leader only happens to be the oldest. He spends hours being berated by managers and producers, bowing and bowing and bowing and apologizing.
This is the leader in Suhoon's mind- an ideal he can't live up to and doesn't want to live up to. He doesn't have a smile that calms and reassures his bandmates. He can't say, "It's going to be okay," when it clearly isn't.
Which is why he's lost his leader and why he's suddenly been slapped with his new title. Because a real leader is loyal enough to stay with a company that's betrayed him, but isn't strong enough to let go and follow his friends when they ask him.
Suhoon isn't tall enough. He isn't kind enough. He'd rather smack Hyunmin than laugh at his jokes. He would never let someone sleep on him for five hours. All he has is age. "You're the oldest; you're the leader." All he wants to do is sing.
Something presses into his shoulder painfully, Hyunmin grinning at him in their reflection in the dressing-room mirror. His hair is ridiculous, but he could care less. He hums something familiar and Suhoon swats his face away. He grabs Suhoon by the waist and holds him still, ignoring the elbow-jabs and cursing; he continues humming.
"The photographer wants you next." Suhoon stops struggling, but doesn't go to leave.
"We don't have enough people." His voice is low and he isn't sure Hyunmin hears him because he's still humming.
"I think we'll be okay," he replies after a moment, letting go of Suhoon to inspect himself in the mirror. "And I think they will be, too."
"Maybe they should've made you leader," Suhoon grumbles, turning to go. He hears Hyunmin laugh out loud behind him.
"Screw that." Another quick check in the mirror and he catches up, winking. "You're way better."
Suhoon doesn't question it, because after all, how often does Hyunmin say that?