Wasted what?
so basically i could have written for hours on that one journal topic, "is senior year living up to your expectations?" And i will answer with one big fucking NO! and then elaborate.
Elaboration PartI:
School fucking sucks! So i spent all three years of highschool thinking, "gee wiz this isnt that great but senior year is gonna rock so i will suck it up." And now that its senior year, nothings changed! People are still the same kinda screwed up, the eductaion is still the same moldy outdated crap, but most of all, and this is what gets me more than anything else, i havent changed one ioda! So what the fuck? Why do i get these crazy notions in my head? WHy do i think i can sit back and let time do its job. Because change doesnt come with time and i wish to god it did but it doesnt no matter how much you cross your fingers and shut your eyes and wish. My advice for the future generation? Stay the fuck away from public school! No kidding. The only way i have changed is that i am 10 times more fucked up, confused and unassured then i was when i started. When i started junior high i hardly ever questioned myself, my dreams were gold and anyone who thought otherwise could go to hell. And now? I have been pummeled to death by the fist of logic and suddenly nothing seems possible. But Andrew is right, you cant blame it all on other forces (school) you gotta take responsibility for what you feel was wasted time. And if your dreams and beliefs are strong enough nothing can get you down. So i am taking the easy way out with this rant, but fuck it! I wanna blame the system!! THis fucking system that makes you its slave, what does it matter if your dreams are "illogical" your gonna die anyway so you might as well do what you want. Sure you can grow up and be a successful busness person and help out the economy but you will never be remembered for you, your just one of the masses. ANd thats the truth everyone, is just swallowed up by the masses.
Elaboration Part 2:
I had bigger expectations for myself. Plain and simple. Somehow i thought the future me would just get the job done eventually.
So where does it all end? Who the hell knows? But i hope to god i can get my act together and have the courage to get the away from this conformity and fucking bullshit that is supposed to define us. I just want to be happy, thats all. Fuck some bigger purpose, i am jsut going to live selfishly and love every moment of it.
Elaboration PartI:
School fucking sucks! So i spent all three years of highschool thinking, "gee wiz this isnt that great but senior year is gonna rock so i will suck it up." And now that its senior year, nothings changed! People are still the same kinda screwed up, the eductaion is still the same moldy outdated crap, but most of all, and this is what gets me more than anything else, i havent changed one ioda! So what the fuck? Why do i get these crazy notions in my head? WHy do i think i can sit back and let time do its job. Because change doesnt come with time and i wish to god it did but it doesnt no matter how much you cross your fingers and shut your eyes and wish. My advice for the future generation? Stay the fuck away from public school! No kidding. The only way i have changed is that i am 10 times more fucked up, confused and unassured then i was when i started. When i started junior high i hardly ever questioned myself, my dreams were gold and anyone who thought otherwise could go to hell. And now? I have been pummeled to death by the fist of logic and suddenly nothing seems possible. But Andrew is right, you cant blame it all on other forces (school) you gotta take responsibility for what you feel was wasted time. And if your dreams and beliefs are strong enough nothing can get you down. So i am taking the easy way out with this rant, but fuck it! I wanna blame the system!! THis fucking system that makes you its slave, what does it matter if your dreams are "illogical" your gonna die anyway so you might as well do what you want. Sure you can grow up and be a successful busness person and help out the economy but you will never be remembered for you, your just one of the masses. ANd thats the truth everyone, is just swallowed up by the masses.
Elaboration Part 2:
I had bigger expectations for myself. Plain and simple. Somehow i thought the future me would just get the job done eventually.
So where does it all end? Who the hell knows? But i hope to god i can get my act together and have the courage to get the away from this conformity and fucking bullshit that is supposed to define us. I just want to be happy, thats all. Fuck some bigger purpose, i am jsut going to live selfishly and love every moment of it.