Willingly suspend your disbelief
I wish i could stop being such a freak. And i wish i could stop over thinking things. And i wish i had lemons right now, not so i could make lemonade but so i could dip them in sugar and realize that with every sour aspect of life there is a sweet one and as corny as that may seem its really true.
I went for one of the best runs of my life last night. I dont know what posessed me. Maybe it was hiking up fitch mountain with andrew on tuesday but i just got my ass out there and ran and ran and ran. AFI is the most awsome band to listen to while running. I barely even noticed my legs pumping furiously and i had the volume on so high i couldnt hear what i am sure was some very ragged breathing. The rain and the night and the music made me invincible and i wanted to run forever.
IF is just so...great. I cant describe it. And i know i have given them shit before but i realize now that they are whats real. Really constant and not afraid to be themselves. I get so tired of my friends and their pretending and their drama and their, lets be honest people, backstabbing. (Mandies dont freak i am not talking about you or michelle or...you and michelle) And maybe thats why I resisted IF so much in the beginning because i knew that when i look back on my life these are the experiences and people i will treasure. THis Alice show really hit at a strange time, so many things seem to be falling apart, for everyone and Alice has made a really profound impact on it all. That maybe life is jst a dream and we shouldnt take it for granted because when you wake up "you'll go out BANG just like a candle." And i realy am in love with Brent, not with him exactly, but what he means to me and what hes taught me and what he stands for. And i dont think anyone not in IF can begin to understand taht.
I feel like the ceiling is caving in on me, and i am looking up and screaming and laughing at the same time. Oh god, this is all so emo. but i do.
I went for one of the best runs of my life last night. I dont know what posessed me. Maybe it was hiking up fitch mountain with andrew on tuesday but i just got my ass out there and ran and ran and ran. AFI is the most awsome band to listen to while running. I barely even noticed my legs pumping furiously and i had the volume on so high i couldnt hear what i am sure was some very ragged breathing. The rain and the night and the music made me invincible and i wanted to run forever.
IF is just so...great. I cant describe it. And i know i have given them shit before but i realize now that they are whats real. Really constant and not afraid to be themselves. I get so tired of my friends and their pretending and their drama and their, lets be honest people, backstabbing. (Mandies dont freak i am not talking about you or michelle or...you and michelle) And maybe thats why I resisted IF so much in the beginning because i knew that when i look back on my life these are the experiences and people i will treasure. THis Alice show really hit at a strange time, so many things seem to be falling apart, for everyone and Alice has made a really profound impact on it all. That maybe life is jst a dream and we shouldnt take it for granted because when you wake up "you'll go out BANG just like a candle." And i realy am in love with Brent, not with him exactly, but what he means to me and what hes taught me and what he stands for. And i dont think anyone not in IF can begin to understand taht.
I feel like the ceiling is caving in on me, and i am looking up and screaming and laughing at the same time. Oh god, this is all so emo. but i do.