It's Really A Threesome

[pyrrhiccomedy]

Title: It's Really A Threesome
Originally posted: 1/31/2009, on the kink meme. Link
Length: 2,000 words.
Characters/Pairings: France/US, implied UK/US.
Premise: The Louisiana Purchase. Also, England cockblocks France and America without ever appearing in the story.
Time period: 1803
Smuttiness: 7/10
Funnyness: 4/10
Wrist slashiness: 2/10

Comments

[twistedsheets10]

...OH MY GOD. France and America, having sex but both are lying back and thinking of England.

(I realize I am repeating 'oh my god' a LOT when I read your fics. And HO GOD, OH GOD. I don't think I'll stop)

France. France. You. are. a. magnificent. bastard.

(no wonder England when hardcore on your ass during the Napoleonic Wars, messing with his boy)

Great work!

(uhm, also, may I friend you?)

[pyrrhiccomedy]

Please feel free! I'm glad you enjoyed the story. =D (And I hope it's okay if I do the same to you, so I can keep a weather eye out for more adorable freaking plushies.)

I love France. He's just...just...yeah. I can't decide if I want to throw a punch at him or kiss him.

[paperclipchains]

I feel that you are talented enough to do both at once.

[pyrrhiccomedy]

My talents, extensive though they may be, are notable for not including a surplus of manual dexterity.

(ALSO OMG WHY ARE YOU READING MY COUNTRY PORN)

[nittle_grasper]

You know how I feel about this fic XD You've converted me, damn you! D:

[pyrrhiccomedy]

If it weren't for you, I never would've taken credit for this. XD

[dmajor7th]

Gah, wonderful! The characterisations are spot on. I am very impressed with just how arrogant you managed to get France to come across. And yes, America, you are a lot more like England than you care to admit.

Great fic!

[pyrrhiccomedy]

Especially in this era.

Thanks!

[sparkism]

May I just say that France was so fucking fabulous, it's ridiculous. ♥ I can totally see him sleeping with America just to get on England's nerves. xD

[pyrrhiccomedy]

He's such a prick, I love him. XD And you've got to think France has pulled this with two thirds of every nation on Earth, by this point.

[yakbites]

"France is an equal-opportunity fucker. But only when he gets something out of it." My history professor said that about French diplomacy.

It remains...quite true in your story.
This was fantastic. I especially loved the little changes the revolution(s, what year are we here?) have changed his house. Very cool thought.

[pyrrhiccomedy]

Thanks! I'm really glad you enjoyed it. This is set in 1803 (i.e., after the Terror--Napoleon is First Consul, but not Emperor yet).