(no subject)
I've been spending the last three days simply trying to swim against the tide. I have a complete lack of motivation, and it's not for any good reason. People think, ok, he has a new game. Or, ok, he has a new girlfriend and that why he's not doing much. But it's not either. I have not been blowing things off for the sake of social interaction or even gaming. I just don't have the will to do much. This really means one thing, I am depressed again, and I haven't got the energy to fight it quite yet. This won't be the first time I've gotten depressed, but I'll start fighting against it soon. I really don't accept help in this matter because I need to do this myself. I know I'm not an island, but I've found that people just go all Freudian on me when they try to help. Perhaps it works for some, but not me.
I suppose there are reasons, I even know why. It's no one big thing, it's a group of little things. And, as we've all learned the hard way, a bunch of little things is the worst thing ever, you never know where to begin. There are good things going in my life now, and it's not the fault of those who have been affecting those good things.
I guess I just need time to think, to sort out my head. I hate being this way because I wind up being a prick somehow. I guess the moral of the story is: things suck, but I'll be ok.
I suppose there are reasons, I even know why. It's no one big thing, it's a group of little things. And, as we've all learned the hard way, a bunch of little things is the worst thing ever, you never know where to begin. There are good things going in my life now, and it's not the fault of those who have been affecting those good things.
I guess I just need time to think, to sort out my head. I hate being this way because I wind up being a prick somehow. I guess the moral of the story is: things suck, but I'll be ok.