"I saw my first angel AND IT WAS YOU"
I am in the mood for lyrics and inner exploration. I have not felt this way in a long time so I figured I would go with it. For the a while now,I have not written a long entry because I was in a very bad place and I didn't want to think about it much less write about it. The move was a lot harder than I expected and I am finally learning to work through things. No matter how much I deny and hate the fact that I am not as independent as I want to be...it will not change. Being away from my friends was too hard for me. I have not made any here except my co-workers. It is hard with my job because of the few nights off. The one friend I did make was really unhappy here and moved back to Brazil. One of the biggest challanges here, for me, has been all the time alone. Because of my family situation my friends have always been my support system, and here I don't have that.
"Clever in what she does competing for the attention"
Although I have cryed myself to sleep one to many times here, I feel like I have become a better person for sticking this out and I would not change it if I could. I have gained an appreciation for all the little things I used to take for granted. I have also gained many job skills that people twice my age still have not learned.
"my whole life revolves around
your absence until I can't remember
what I was or what I am
who I know or what I know or where I go"
Currently, I am in the best relationship I have ever experienced. The weird thing is I did so many things in an attempt to stop it from happening.It survived somehow. Through his wealth of knowledge and huge heart he realized what it could be and has stuck things out. He is a better person than I will ever be. I could not ask more in a companion, friend or lover. He is amazing. I hope he understands the transitions I still need to go through before I will be ready and will stand by me until I am.
School is going well. The funny thing is out of all of my friends I was the only one who wasn't going to grad school. Now I am the only one I know who is. Although I am taking it slow because I am also in a full time position it is coming along. Currently I have a 4.0 and am busting my little butt to keep it.
I don't know what the future will bring. I have no idea where I will be in five months. Wherever I am I just want to be happy.
"Clever in what she does competing for the attention"
Although I have cryed myself to sleep one to many times here, I feel like I have become a better person for sticking this out and I would not change it if I could. I have gained an appreciation for all the little things I used to take for granted. I have also gained many job skills that people twice my age still have not learned.
"my whole life revolves around
your absence until I can't remember
what I was or what I am
who I know or what I know or where I go"
Currently, I am in the best relationship I have ever experienced. The weird thing is I did so many things in an attempt to stop it from happening.It survived somehow. Through his wealth of knowledge and huge heart he realized what it could be and has stuck things out. He is a better person than I will ever be. I could not ask more in a companion, friend or lover. He is amazing. I hope he understands the transitions I still need to go through before I will be ready and will stand by me until I am.
School is going well. The funny thing is out of all of my friends I was the only one who wasn't going to grad school. Now I am the only one I know who is. Although I am taking it slow because I am also in a full time position it is coming along. Currently I have a 4.0 and am busting my little butt to keep it.
I don't know what the future will bring. I have no idea where I will be in five months. Wherever I am I just want to be happy.