The Weekend Where Things Almost Died
So I had the world's weirdest weekend in terms of driving incidents. Submitted for the approval of the f-list, I give you: The Weekend Where Things Almost Died.
Friday: I'm driving home from work when something smallish and black bursts out of the bushes on the far side of the highway and starts running across the road. I slam on my breaks to avoid hitting what I think is a dog, and as I'm looking at it (as it runs in front of my truck) I realize it's a fucking BEAR! I almost hit a bloody bear! On the highway! WTF!?
Saturday: I'm driving to my friend's house to party and I end up sitting at a red light behind a pickup truck pulling a flatbed trailer. The bed of the pickup has one of those camper deals on it and the trailer is loaded about 5 feet high with what is probably camping/fishing junk, including two VERY large coolers that are perched right on top and secured by one little bungee cord across the two of them. As I'm sitting there looking at the arrangement (thinking how ridiculously unsafe it looks) the light turns green and they start pulling away. They get about 3 feet, the bungee cord snaps, one of the coolers slips off the back, slams down on the street and slides off to the side of the road. If I hadn't been contemplating the unsafeness of the stacking and had done my usual Road-Rage-I'm-Gunna-Ride-Your-Bumper-Till-You-Finally-Accelerate-Cuz-You-Don't-Seem-To-Understand-That-Green-Means-Go thing, that cooler would have landed right on top of my hood and probably gone through my windshield. Um, woah.
Sunday: I'm driving home from my friends house after a fun night of drunken debauchery, and (I will admit it) am slightly on the hungover side, and am driving totally on autopilot when the bushes by the road suddenly turn into two moose (meese? LOL) that have decided that now is the perfect time to cross the road. They did not look both ways before crossing, and I nearly mowed them both over. Read my post from 2-7-09 entitled 'Moosie' for my feelings on this situation.
So, to sum it up, I almost killed a bear, then was almost killed by a cooler, then almost killed (and was almost killed by) two moose. All in one weekend. And people wonder why I hate driving...
Friday: I'm driving home from work when something smallish and black bursts out of the bushes on the far side of the highway and starts running across the road. I slam on my breaks to avoid hitting what I think is a dog, and as I'm looking at it (as it runs in front of my truck) I realize it's a fucking BEAR! I almost hit a bloody bear! On the highway! WTF!?
Saturday: I'm driving to my friend's house to party and I end up sitting at a red light behind a pickup truck pulling a flatbed trailer. The bed of the pickup has one of those camper deals on it and the trailer is loaded about 5 feet high with what is probably camping/fishing junk, including two VERY large coolers that are perched right on top and secured by one little bungee cord across the two of them. As I'm sitting there looking at the arrangement (thinking how ridiculously unsafe it looks) the light turns green and they start pulling away. They get about 3 feet, the bungee cord snaps, one of the coolers slips off the back, slams down on the street and slides off to the side of the road. If I hadn't been contemplating the unsafeness of the stacking and had done my usual Road-Rage-I'm-Gunna-Ride-Your-Bumper-Till-You-Finally-Accelerate-Cuz-You-Don't-Seem-To-Understand-That-Green-Means-Go thing, that cooler would have landed right on top of my hood and probably gone through my windshield. Um, woah.
Sunday: I'm driving home from my friends house after a fun night of drunken debauchery, and (I will admit it) am slightly on the hungover side, and am driving totally on autopilot when the bushes by the road suddenly turn into two moose (meese? LOL) that have decided that now is the perfect time to cross the road. They did not look both ways before crossing, and I nearly mowed them both over. Read my post from 2-7-09 entitled 'Moosie' for my feelings on this situation.
So, to sum it up, I almost killed a bear, then was almost killed by a cooler, then almost killed (and was almost killed by) two moose. All in one weekend. And people wonder why I hate driving...