NOT what i had expected...

[pyro45]

I learned something today... I learned something that came at a great and painful cost, but maybe, just maybe, somehow it'll pay off in the long run... I know now that i was wrong, but if i didn't make the mistake and feel the unending backwash of pain then i might not have ever been sure if it was really wrong or not... Something had to change in my life... I think it just did... And wow do i wish something easier to deal with would have been the thing to change...

I at least know what i want now... Luckily it is the single hardest and most difficult thing for me to find that has been killing me on the inside time after time for years...

Change my attempt good intentions

Crouched over
You were not there,
Living in fear,
But signs, were not, really that scarce
Obvious tears
But I, will not
Hide you through this
I want you to help,
And please, see
The bleeding heart perched on my shirt

Die, withdraw
Hide in cold sweat
Quivering lips,
Ignore, remorse
Naming a kid, living wasteland
This time, you've tried
All that you can turning you red

Change my attempt good intentions
Should I, could I
Here we are with your obsession
Should I, could I

Heave the silver hollow sliver
Piercing through another victim
Turn and tremble, be judgmental
Ignorant to all the symbols
Blind the face with beauty paste
Eventually you'll one day know

Change my attempt good intentions
Limbs tied, skin tight
Self inflicted his perdition

Should I, could I
Change my attempt good intentions
Should I, could I
Should I, could I
-10 years