You made yourself a bed at the bottom Of the blackest hole
I should have seen this coming.
Everything has been relatively calm lately. Pretty good, all things considered. That usually means it is just the calm before the stor,. and shit will start piling up.
So remember the friend request I got from the devil the slimy bastard that fathered me? I was a good girl. I took the high road. I denied it, and did nothing more to acknowledge it. I thought that would be the end. But this morning, around 1:30 am, I decided to check my email and found an email from Facebook saying "Robert Sa*** has sent you a message."
Subject- The time has come
I decided I should let you know that I would like to get to know you again if you are willing. It's been nearly 20 years. Send me a message if you think a lonely father has a chance. Regardless, I do love you and I think of you often. Love, Dad
It may be an overreaction, I'm not sure. But the "poor me, I'm so lonely" tone of the message, coupled with the sheer AUDACITY of the man and the fact that he signed it "love dad", pissed me off to no end. I was shaking, and near tears. Needless to say, I didn't go to bed. I was talking to Ricky, and I decided to take the chance that Tanya would still be awake and texted her. I told her that part of me just wanted to reply and rip into him, but I was trying SO HARD to be mature. Be the bigger person. And then she said something that made a whole lot of sense. "You've been angry for 20 years, let it off now and BE DONE WITH IT."
And she's right. Yes, I've gone about my life, and I haven't been letting him color my every move. I've worked it all out, for the most part. But I never got the closure. Never got to tell HIM what I felt. So I gave in, wrote exactly what I wanted and didn't hold back or censor myself at all. Why should I care if I hurt his feelings?
Who the fuck do you think you are? Deserve a chance? What the hell gives you the idea that you would EVER deserve a chance? And how DARE you sign your message "dad"? MY dad was the most incredibly kind, loving, and gentle man ever to exist, and YOU aren't fit to lick the shoes he's buried in. So you're lonely? Think you're missing out? Too bad. Its your own damn fault. And believe me, you ARE missing out.
Never contact me again. Ever.
Karma's a bitch, isn't she?
Ah. *dusts hands* Now hopefully that will be the end of that.
Though I have to say, I wanted to strangle Josh. I told him about it, let him read the message I got, and he said, "Well, maybe you should think about forgiving him." Excuse me?!?!?! I'm sorry, but that man is one of only 2 people in this world that will NEVER deserve forgiveness. Later when I told my mom how I'd responded to the message and Josh heard me. He said I was too harsh. I say he wasn't the one held under the bath water.
**************
So, my mom sent me an email, which was why I called her. Apparently Michelle stole $900 from her, which means she can't pay her electric bill. She says she's working with the bank, as soon as she has absolute proof she is having Michelle arrested and having the baby put into foster care, because Michelle is not a fit mother. I knew this would happen. I just thought it would take longer than a couple of weeks.
*sighs*