vicodin oom the first
Ikki: *PHONE RINGING, PHONE RINGING*
Kazu: "Ah, hello?"
Ikki: "HI KAZU."
Kazu: "... ! HI BOSS."
Kazu: "... I was about to go to sleep. What is it?"
Ikki: "Why are you up so late. This is bad form, Kazu!"
Kazu: "Dude. Are you high?" This is rhetorical. "I told you this ... not even four hours ago!"
Ikki: "I am not high." Sense the defense in his voice. SENSE IT. "And that's not an excuse! Not unless Emiri is there with you!" A pause. "IS SHE?"
Kazu: "... no, she's not, we split before I went to the bar, numbnuts, and oh fuck, you are high, aren't you. You're calling me at ohmyfuckit'smorningandmyballsarefreezing o'clock and you're stoned on pain medication. What the fuck."
Ikki: "It's called tylonel and I had it because I ran into a wall and it was a bitch and I am not stoned on anything thankyouverymuch."
Kazu: "... what. What did the wall do to you this time?"
Ikki: "Hit me."
Kazu: "I thought you just said you ran into it."
Ikki: "It hit me! It wasn't my fault!" Very, very insistent.
Kazu: "YOU'RE IN A WHEELCHAIR. WALLS DO NOT HIT CRIPPLES. IT'S AGAINST THE LAW." ... perhaps that lack of sleep's been getting to Kazu, a bit.
Ikki: "WALLS DON'T LISTEN TO THE LAW. THEY'RE WALLS."
Kazu: "THEY'RE WALLS. THEY HAVE TO FOLLOW THE LAWS. OF PHYSICS."
Ikki: "WELL THIS ONE DIDN'T." Even louder now! "AND THE FLOOR COOPERATED WITH IT."
Kazu: "You're so fucking high. Why are you calling me! It can't be just because you love the sound of my voice."
Ikki: "I'm bored," Petulant. "There's nothing to do."
Kazu: "You should have thought of that before you hurt your knee! This is really annoying, I hope you know."
Ikki: "YOUR FACE IS ANNOYING."
Kazu: "Your mother's face is annoying!"
Ikki: ".....dude. DID YOU REALLY GO THERE."
Kazu: "YOU INTERRUPTED MY SLEEP."
Ikki: "YOU STILL DON'T GO THERE, JERK."
Kazu: "Well, sor-ry! I'm just a little late for my beauty sleep, okay? Besides, you'd think with the sharks around you'd be plenty busy, anyway."
Ikki: "They're not around." More petulance.
Kazu: "Aha, so ol' Crow's suffering a little 'blue balls', huh?"
Ikki: That was not a bit of a shriek just now, not at all. We swear. "AND I'M THE ONE THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE HIGH?!"
Kazu: Sure it wasn't. And Kazu's the King of Spain. once i was the king of spain (once he was the king of spain "You totally are, aren't you."
Ikki: "Why do you keep insisting these things!"
Kazu: "Dude, you're my best friend. I can tell."
Ikki: Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
"THAT'S REALLY CREEPY."
Kazu: "Shut up, I gotta be able to do that if I'm gonna be able to tell you when you're being stupid."
Ikki: "You're creepy. I'm not sure if I want to talk to you if you're creepy."
Kazu: "Oh come on."
Ikki: "What."
Kazu: "Now you're doing it on purpose."
Ikki: "I have NO IDEA what YOU COULD POSSIBLY be TALKING ABOUT."
Kazu: "STOP YELLING IN MY EAR, I CAN HEAR YOU."
Ikki: "I'M NOT YELLING IN YOUR EAR, I'M YELLING IN THE PHONE."
Kazu: "SAME THING."
Ikki: "NOT REALLY."
Kazu: "YES."
Ikki: "NO -- WHY ARE WE ARGUING."
Kazu: "I don't know, dude."
Kazu: "I know I said this before but it bears repeating: Emiri's a really good kisser."
Ikki: "You're gonna say that like fifty million times before you get tired of that, aren't you!"
Kazu: "OH yeah." You can practically hear the smile.
Ikki: "If you keep doing that you're gonna have to put up with hearing from me too!"
Kazu: "You're the one who called me when I was half-awake!"
Ikki: "I don't care!"
Kazu: "You only have yourself to blame for what I say!"
Ikki: "I'm talking about the future! The future! In general! Not now!"
Kazu: "I don't care about the future, unless it's the immediate one, which involves me sleeping."
Ikki: "Yeah, well, joke's on you! You don't get to sleep now, haha!"
Kazu: "I ... could ... just hang up. You know."
Ikki: "I could call back!"
Kazu: "Phones. Can be unplugged."
Ikki: "You wouldn't."
Kazu: "I would. Don't think me incapable of base cruelty to wildlife, man. I'll do it."
Ikki: "Don't do it! It never did anything to you!"
Ikki: "And neither did I!"
Kazu: "Your voice is like a knife slicing my testicles!"
Ikki: "OH GROSS, MAN."
Ikki: "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT."
Kazu: "BUT ACCURATE." ... the typist doesn't know either.
Ikki: "....YEAH, WELL, YOU DESERVE IT."
Kazu: "WHAT THE HELL DID I DO."
Ikki: "YOU'RE BEING MEAN. TO ME."
Kazu: "--I'm being - YOU'RE THE ONE CRANK-CALLING AT OHFUCKINTHEMORNING."
Ikki: "WHATEVER."
Kazu: "... why are you up, anyway, for that matter?"
Ikki: "Who knows!"
Kazu: "You do!"
Ikki: "Maybe!"
Kazu: "It's your brain, if you don't know what's going on up there it's a mystery to science."
Ikki: "....YOUR FACE is a mystery to science." Creative comebacks are a bit beyond him, it seems.
Kazu: "Don't diss my face, man!"
Kazu: "My face is awesome!'
Ikki: "Yeah, like a Picasso painting."
Kazu: "Damn right my face is a work of art." Kazu has never seen a Picasso painting. (This is not as impossible as it sounds.)
Ikki: "Haha, I tricked you!"
Kazu: "... what."
Ikki: "TRY LOOKING ONE UP SOMETIME."
Kazu: "... I hate you. Just a little."
Ikki: "No you don't."
Kazu: "You called me ugly."
Ikki: "You asked for it!"
Kazu: "I did not! I'd remember asking for something like that!"
Ikki: "Well, you don't remember!"
Kazu: "Lies!"
Ikki: "Not lying!"
Ikki: "A GOD NEEDS NO LIES."
Kazu: "... yeah yeah, whatever."
Ikki: "What."
Kazu: ""You never lie. Uh-huh."
Ikki: "What have I lied about."
Kazu: "... we are not having this conversation while you're stoned, boss."
Ikki: "WHAT HAVE I LIED ABOUT AND I'M NOT HIGH."
Kazu: "... who was it who helped steal the answers to Ton-chan's test that one time? Huh?"
Ikki: "That wasn't a lie! That was sneaking!"
Kazu: "That was a lie, Crow."
Ikki: "Not by my count!"
Kazu: "You still lied!"
Ikki: "SOMETHING ELSE."
Kazu: "... I have no idea what we're talking about anymore."
Ikki: "....."
Kazu: "I think I'm gonna pass out now, okay?"
Ikki: "....yeah, okay."
Ikki: "BUT YOU OWE ME ENTERTAINMENT LATER."
Kazu: "... ow. How the hell do I owe you entertainment, huh?"
Ikki: "Because."
Kazu: "That's not an answer."
Ikki: "Yes it is!"
Kazu: "No it isn't!"
Ikki: "Yes it is!"
Ikki: "Go to sleep!"
Kazu: "... okay, sure."
Kazu: *CLICK.*