*Fanfic*The Importance of Routine 4/5
Title: The Importance of Routine 4/5
Author:
Disclaimer: Don't own Heroes.
Rating: PG for this one, but NC-17 overall
Previous Chapters: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Warnings: Slash
Summary: When Matt gets a girlfriend Mohinder realizes how much everything they had meant to him.
Author Note: Special thanks to my beta, g0shawk, without her you'd be reading something a less coherent. Oh and I'm really sorry I made you wait to so long. I made a 'please don't be made at me' present for you. (or I'm just pimping out a new wallpaper XD) Text Version and Without Text
"So while you were…with her you…" Mohinder said, his head nodding along with the ideas. His mouth was hanging open in a surprised 'oh'.
It was a familiar setting. He was at the alter of a church, with Matt standing beside him, that blissfully happy grin on his face. It was a look that had started to make Mohinder want to vomit, at least at the idea of it being over some random woman, only this time it started with the wedding march instead of Molly coming down the aisle. This time when the doors opened he saw the figure coming down.
It was a woman with a veil covering her face. She was dressed in an outstanding, if not classical, wedding dress. She walked slowly, but not as slowly as Molly had. She made her way up to the alter and flipped the veil back.
Behind the veil was a beautiful face. She had blond hair and blue eyes. Her face was very soft and friendly. She was slender too, with a corset on that put her bosom on display. She looked like any blue-blooded American boy's dream girl.
Matt seemed even happier now that she was standing at the alter with him. He took her hand and they both turned towards the priest.
The priest talked but Mohinder couldn't hear it. Whether it was because even in a dream he didn't know the words, or the fact he couldn't stop staring at Matt, he wasn't sure. That smile, those lips curled up so beautifully, that should be his. He couldn't help but feel that he should be the one making the man smile. He wanted to be that person. He needed to be.
The priest said in a bleak tone, "Does anyone have any reason to oppose this union? If so speak now or forever hold your peace."
"I do," Mohinder found himself saying, and he swung Matt around. "I love you. Stay with me."
Mohinder watched himself from a distance as he kissed Matt square on the lips.
He didn't know if Matt responded well, because he woke himself up. He shot up straight in bed, and was panting softly. He did his best to ignore the arousal that was evident throughout his whole body. Luckily, his panic seemed to dose that flame.
He ran his hand through his bed-head and looked over at the clock. It was only six a.m., on a day when neither of them had work. He should be sleeping right now, but he feared going back to that dream.
Why in the world had he kissed Matt? He'd never once thought about it! Or perhaps he had. Sometimes, late at night, he had thought about running his lips over those soft pouty ones, but he'd never taken stock of it. It was human nature to contemplate sexual intercourse with those you were in close proximity to. He'd brushed it off as chemical reactions. Had it meant something more? Did his obsession with this nightly routine mean something?
He got up, ideas and emotions moving quickly in his head. He double-checked to make sure it was in his native tongue and not English. Matt could hear none of this unless he was certain that this was what he felt. He dressed in baggy pajama pants and a plain white t-shirt before leaving his room.
He went out quietly to the kitchen. He filled a pot of tea and put it on a warming burner. He'd need a lot of tea to sort this out. His life hadn't been this turned upside-down since he'd been told his father had passed away.
Out of nowhere, there was a gentle knock at the door. Mohinder was confused, and a bit anxious as to whom it was. It didn't help his already strained mood. There were very few pleasant people this could possibly be. They really had no friends, especially none that would be coming by at this hour. He grabbed the box-cutter from the counter, and put it into his back pocket. Better safe than sorry, he'd learned over and over again.
He opened the door slowly and looked around it, using it as a sort of shield.
"Can I help you?" he asked stiffly, then relaxed somewhat. It was a woman, but one whom he didn't know. He stepped out from behind the door and forced a smile.
She stared at him, confused, then looked down at the printing paper in her hand.
"Does Matthew Parkman live here?" she asked, spitting out his name as if it were venom.
"Yes. He isn't up yet. Should I tell him you came by?" Mohinder asked.
"No, just give him these," she said, and pushed a jacket along with some knickknacks at him. "It's his coat and the DVD's he left at my house. Give him the message that I never want to see him again."
Mohinder didn't know what to do or say. It wasn't really his place to do either. He just held onto the coat that smelled distinctly like Matt close to him.
"Might I ask who you are?" Mohinder said slowly, but he was starting to get the idea.
"My name's Jill," she said.
Mohinder stared at her, wide-eyed. She was so different from what he'd expected, from how the bride in his dream had looked. She was dark for one thing; she looked like she had some Indian and some Latino blood in her. Her hair was dark and curly, not unlike his own. Her skin was almost a perfect match for his. She had a thin but tall frame, with a small-sized chest. Her face was all angles and sharp, which strongly opposed Matt's own gentle features. She was glaring daggers at him, but he could guess that with a smile on her lips she'd be rather pretty.
He heard the sound of the couch squeaking behind him, and turned around. Matt was standing up slowly, his hair all 'I've slept on the couch again' messy.
"Mohinder, who’s at the door?" he asked.
Jill let out an audible huff. Mohinder turned to look at her, wondering what was going on here. Hadn't they just spent a lovely evening together? Didn't they spend every night together? Weren't they madly in love?
"So you're Mohinder. I guess I can see why he'd call for you," Jill said, giving Mohinder a slow look up and down. She stood on her tiptoes and stared behind him at Matt. "Here's your shit back. Don't fucking call me again."
She turned on her heel and was storming down the hall in an instant.
Mohinder shut the door and looked over at Matt. His brows were drawn together and his lips posed as if having an answered half formed on them.
"What's going on? What did she mean?" Mohinder asked seriously.
"We broke up last night…" Matt explained.
"Why? Why didn't you tell me? Why did you let me fight with you last night over something that was over?" Mohinder asked, not understanding Matt's logic.
"I didn't want to tell you. I was planning to keep going out…"
"What does that accomplish?" he said, than paused, having an after-thought. "What did she mean you called for me? When?"
"The worst possible time," Matt said, turning around and rubbing the back of his neck nervously. He made a show of pretending to make up the couch.
"What are you talking about? Matt, explain to me what you’re not saying."
"I can't. It's damn…it's hard, and it'll mess everything up. I can't risk it. You're right, Molly has to be our first priority," Matt said, his face to the window. He walked over and stood by it as if looking for an escape route.
Mohinder still didn't understand. What could be so damaging that it could break up their family? When could Matt have called for Mohinder that was bad enough for his girlfriend to break up with him? There was only one time when it was really uncalled for. Oh god.
"You called my name out in bed?" he asked, his face blank with surprise. Matt had been thinking about him while he was with his girlfriend? Matt thought of him like that? How had this happened? Then again, wasn't he the one that was dreaming about kissing him on his wedding day?
"I guess I was right. A genius like you could figure it out. I knew I was screwed when she said that," he snickered, and turned his head towards the other man.
"Why did you…do that?" the scientist asked, shock making his well-schooled mind turn to mush.
"God damnit Mohinder. I take it back. You’re not that smart. You still don't understand. Since you'll figure this out anyway, I'll speed up the process. It's like taking off a Band-Aid," he said, and then paused, calming himself down. "You saw her, right? You saw Jill. Did you notice anything?"
"Sure. I mean, of course. She was tall and very pretty, well spoken."
Matt rolled his eyes and said straightforwardly, "She looks like you."
"Well, a little," Mohinder protested.
"Not a little. You saw it. I figured out later that that was the whole reason I started flirting with her in the first place," Matt said, his voice slowly getting softer and softer. His humiliation showed on his face, and his shoulders slumped, all the energy gone from him.
Mohinder moved into the kitchen and pulled the pot of tea off the stove. He put some hot water into a cup and started to make his tea. He needed to calm down. He needed to do something that didn't make his heart feel as if it was about ready to jump out of his chest.
"So you…" Mohinder started, but Matt took up.
"I started to notice things--around the house, mostly. I was reacting to you like…I should a girl. I was noticing how good you looked, more than normal. I guess I was attracted to you. That night, while we were watching TV and I saw you looking, man, I thought maybe you were checking me out. Than that morning you came out looking fucking great in your boxers. I mean…amazing. It made me realize that…I wanted you. It scared the shit out of me…"
Mohinder was starting to put the pieces together. "So when Jill called that morning and asked you out…you said yes."
"Yeah. I'd been flirting with her for a while, but she took the reigns. She wanted to go have coffee, and I was so scared of being into you that I agreed. We had a great date, but it felt so much like friends, not romantic. It wasn't until I kissed her, and couldn't see her face, only her skin and her curls. That was when the chemistry really started.
"So while you were…with her you…" Mohinder said, his head nodding along with the ideas. His mouth was hanging open in a surprised 'oh'.
"That skin was a perfect match. Get her in a dimly lit room and ignore whatever sounds she was making, and it was like having you there. God, I'd kiss her arms and her legs, her back, forever. I was imagining you under my hands, my lips, withering and smiling. She doesn't have as nice teeth as you do, though. Bit of a downer."
That got a chuckle out of both of them, which was a miracle, considering the circumstances.
"Anyway, last night she let me take her…well, you know, from…behind, which made it really easy. It was all strong back, dark skin, and curls. I ignored everything else. Just thought of you, and when it came to…huh…that time…I didn't even realize I'd said it. It wasn't until she slapped me and told me to get the hell out, that I figured it out. Man, she was pissed."
"I don’t doubt it," Mohinder said slowly.
Matt need not have gone into so much detail, but at the same time, Mohinder liked that fact. Hearing Matt talk about such things was better than any dream. He stared at the other man, not sure what to say. He'd never thought of Matt in such a light before.
Matt did grow on you. His humor and his smile were close to his heart. Mohinder had come to find peace in the other man's presence, but was there anything else? Did he want Matt like that?
His eyes went over the man's face and stared at those lips. He was surprised by how quickly his body reacted. He wanted that kiss, like his dream, only better.
He realized now that his dreams hadn't been about Molly. They had been about Matt. He'd been dreaming of losing Matt to a woman who didn't deserve him. He'd been trying to tell himself how much Matt meant to him. His heart was trying to break out of the cold shell it'd been hidden in long ago. Of all the people he'd 'loved,' Matt was the only one that was special enough to make his heart ache so painfully. He needed to know something though.
"So…do you love me, or is it just…lust?" he asked, dreading the answer. It could easily go either way.
Matt's face scrunched up.
"You think I'd go gay for just any model-looking guy that lives in my house and happens to have the most amazing voice in the world?" he said, and forced a smile. "Nah, I think it's the real deal."
"So you'd like to date me?" Mohinder asked. If he kept asking questions, he wouldn’t have to answer any. He wasn't sure what he wanted to tell Matt about his own feelings. He was just so confused.
"I guess…I mean yes. Not that it'd be a good idea. I mean, what if something went wrong? You know how easily we fight-"
Mohinder interrupted him, "And how easily we make up."
"I guess that's true," Matt said, then his face turned red.
Mohinder raised a brow at him, and then realized what Matt was thinking. Make up sex?
"Yup," Matt agreed.
Mohinder's eyes went wide, and he stared at Matt. He'd been thinking in Tamil; he always did. How had Matt figured out what he was saying?
"How did you?" he asked. The scientist in him wanted to study this. Had Matt started translating thoughts too?
"I've been learning it. I guess I'm nosy, but it seemed so unfair. I mean, the one person whose thoughts I actually wanted to hear, I couldn't understand," Matt explained.
"But your," he said, and then paused, not wanting to jump onto the touchy subject too quickly. "Dyslexia."
"Books on tape. I started listening to them in the car, at work while I was filling out paper work. Whenever I could. I mean, it's slow going, but I'm getting it. I'm not sure what you said exactly, but I recognized the word sex, which I had to look up online."
Mohinder suddenly felt vulnerable. He'd been hiding behind the fact that Matt couldn't understand his thoughts for so long. For a brief moment, he understood why Matt's wife had left him. He felt so exposed against this power, yet he trusted Matt. He trusted the other man to read his thoughts. He didn't want to hide a moment of his life from Matt; he didn't feel he needed too.
"You want to read my thoughts?" he asked, not addressing the fact that
"Well, yeah," he said, and sighed. "Lately I've been dying to know what you thought about all this. About, you know, me dating someone. I really tried to imagine that you were jealous or something. Pretty pathetic huh?"
"Not at all," he said in a hushed tone; "because if you had been able to read my mind you would have found out that it's true."
Matt's mouth opened wide but not as wide as his eyes. There was stillness between them and silence as Matt struggled for his voice. The silence was broken by a rather unexpected sound. The television had clicked on and Foster's was playing loudly in the background. Two heads turned in unison and looked over at the couch where Molly was sitting with the controller in hand.
"Molly doll?" Matt said, trying to get his mind out of the Mohinder induced fog.
Mohinder went over and stood beside her. "Honey, how long have you been up?"
She stared up at them in obvious confusion. They must have seemed very panicked.
"About five minutes. I'm ok, guys," she said, looking at each of them in turn. "No more nightmares tonight, I swear. I slept really well."
Mohinder nodded and watched as Matt put on his 'happy because everything is normal’ face.
"So, what do you think we should have for breakfast? Cornflakes or oatmeal?" Matt asked, going into the kitchen.
"Cornflakes!" she said indignantly. "Why did you even ask? That's something you'd ask Mohinder. It'd be like you bringing home real ice cream. It's just not right.”
"You know, Molly, I might just not want you to end up a big cubby pants like me," Matt said, coming up behind her and rubbing her head.
"But you're a cute cubby pants!" she exclaimed and turned to Mohinder. "Aren't I right?"
Mohinder was glad his blush was less noticeable than Matt's because the question made his cheeks go red. He heard Matt's footsteps leading him away from the couch and back to the kitchen, but didn't have the trust in himself to look up.
"I suppose. For a man he's rather good looking," Mohinder said, looking up at Matt, whose back was to them as he poured cereal. The back of his neck gave him away, having turned a bright red; most likely like his face was too.
"No he's cute; you’re good looking," Molly said in a very matter of fact way.
"Oh, and what's the difference?" Mohinder asked. He thought it would be amusing to hear her definitions of the words.
"I don't know if I should tell you…" she said sheepishly.
"Why?"
"They might insult you…Mohinder…" she said, looking down at the floor.
"Oh I promise you they won't," Mohinder said, more curious than ever. "I insist that you tell me."
"Well, good looking is something everyone sees. Everyone thinks someone like you is good looking. You know, good hair, good skin. Like Mary says, movie star looks…”
"I wouldn’t go that far," Mohinder protested.
I would, Matt thought from the kitchen. That made Mohinder blush, and he did his best to keep his attention on Molly.
"Anyway, please go on Molly," he said, giving her a smile. She nodded and then continued.
"Where Matt is cute. People don't think he's good looking at first, but he is when you get used to him. He's really funny and takes good care of his family. He's a real hero," she said firmly, and then added, "That's why I have a crush on Kyle Mortson instead of Brent Spensberg, who everyone likes."
Matt almost dropped the bowl he was holding out to her. She grabbed it to keep it from falling into her lap.
"You have a crush?" Matt asked in a startled tone that resonated Mohinder's own worries.
"Yeah, on Kyle. He's picked on a lot but he's way smarter than everyone. He reads all the time, at like a tenth grade level! He's always saying cool stuff that's really funny, and making faces like Matt does. He's also a little…big around the waist, but that's cute!"
"Oh my god, I made my little girl a cubby chaser!" Matt exclaimed, then put a hand over his mouth.
Molly looked up at him, confused, and asked, "What's a cu-"
"Molly," Mohinder said, louder than needed, causing Molly to turn to look at him. "Both of us are home today. Why don't you invite this Kyle to come over?"
Her eyes went huge and all thoughts of unknown phrases were forgotten.
"You mean it?" she asked excitedly.
"Of course. We'd love to meet him."
"That we would," Matt said, sitting down next to her. She was up like a jolt and going towards her room.
"I have to clean up!" she proclaimed.
"Get dressed while you’re in there!" Mohinder called to her.
"Yeah yeah!" she agreed, and shut her door.
"I thought we had a few more years before she started thinking about the B word," Matt said, rubbing his forehead in frustration.
"It's just a crush. It'll go away."
"Or maybe it's danger and you just don't know," Matt said in a near musical tone.
"What?" Mohinder asked confusedly.
"It's the rest of the line from the song you were quoting."
"I wasn't quoting," Mohinder said.
"Oh," Matt muttered, surprised. "Well, anyway..."
Neither could think of something to say. Mohinder felt the uncomfortable sensation come back. It was tenser in the room, more so than it used to be. It was then that he realized something. He looked over at Matt and realized they were on the couch together again. It'd been a long time since they had been even this close. Mohinder looked down at their legs, side by side: Matt's strong, thick ones, still bare since he was in his boxers, and Mohinder's hidden modestly in loosely fitting pants. Mohinder moved his leg over and let them touch. It didn't take a mind reader to know the message behind the touch.
Their eyes met and the world was comfortably quiet again. It was just the two of them in this crummy little apartment that they called home so easily. Matt gently rubbed his leg up against Mohinder. Mohinder tried to figure out how many times he'd daydreamed about this feeling.
"Is it hot in here?" asked a youthful voice from beside them.
"Pardon?" Mohinder asked, a little dazed.
"Well, you're both red, and sweaty looking, and, you know…panting a little," she explained, a little disgusted and confused. "I thought it must be hot."
Both of them were ashamed of having such a display while Molly was still in the house. At least neither had jumped the other like they had wanted to
"Yeah, it is a little. You know, summer is right around the corner," Matt said, shrugging it off. "You ready for school?"
She nodded. "You going to put pants on and take me?"
"Nope, taking you in my boxers today," Matt said, getting up and going over and grabbing his clothing from his suitcase. Mohinder reminded himself that he should have Matt fully unpack soon. They had been living together too long for him to still have a suitcase. Then again, it wasn't until lately that Mohinder had thought of offering his bedroom dresser.
"Ha ha, Matt. You know I won't let you," she said very firmly. "Boxers are for family time only."
Matt laughed at that and went into the bathroom.
Mohinder drilled Molly about her homework and tests for the day. She'd prepared last night, of course. Still, Mohinder demanded to see the evidence while Matt got ready. Matt came out of the restroom dressed in a pair of sweats and a light blue shirt with a football team logo on the front.
"I don't see how that's an improvement on your boxers," Mohinder commented.
"No bare legs," he said, waving his pant legs with his hands.
Too bad, Mohinder thought at him very loudly and very much in English.
Matt blushed a bright red and held his hand out to Molly.
"Wanna go early?"
"Yeah! I gotta go talk to Kyle. He's going to be so happy. He says he never gets invited to go anywhere after school," she said. She leaned over and kissed Mohinder on the cheek, making him smile. He gave her one in return before she went over to Matt, taking his hand.
"See you later, Mohinder," she said, giving him a wave, as did Matt before leaving.
Mohinder normally would go get ready for work, but he didn't need to today. Instead, he picked up Molly's disregarded cereal and went into the kitchen. He was about to pour the contents of the bowl down the sink when he changed his mind. He turned and went towards the living room window where he could look down at the street. He opened it and sat on the window ledge sideways. His eyes were glued to the bottom of the building near the door. He ate the cereal while he waited. He figured he'd need his strength today.
It only took ten minutes for Matt to come back, but it felt like centuries. Mohinder saw him coming down the street and couldn't help but smile. When Matt was close to the door Mohinder closed his eyes. He focused a thought at the other man.
Look up
Matt‘s head turned up as if he‘d heard the call from above. He squinted and then saw Mohinder. A look of shock crossed his face, then a smile. He waved up at the other man before rushing into the building. Soon there was a key on the lock and then the door opening.
Like a stampeding elephant, Matt raced into the room and charged right at him. He found himself being caught in Matt's arms and the force of it almost knocked him out the window. He felt the bowl fall out of his hand, falling down toward the street. Mohinder hoped that it didn't hit anyone in the head and kill them. Homicide by dropping of a bowl, wouldn’t that look great on his record?
All thoughts, especially those of murdering bowls, were lost to him as Matt's lips found his. He kissed him back, his arms sliding around his neck, mostly to keep from falling. He didn't know if the fear of falling came from the fact that he was half out a window or the fact that he was falling very fast for Matt.
He forced himself to push away from Matt long enough to say,
"Please, pull me in."
To be Continued in...
Part 5 where feelings turn into actions.
Author:
Disclaimer: Don't own Heroes.
Rating: PG for this one, but NC-17 overall
Previous Chapters: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Warnings: Slash
Summary: When Matt gets a girlfriend Mohinder realizes how much everything they had meant to him.
Author Note: Special thanks to my beta, g0shawk, without her you'd be reading something a less coherent. Oh and I'm really sorry I made you wait to so long. I made a 'please don't be made at me' present for you. (or I'm just pimping out a new wallpaper XD) Text Version and Without Text
"So while you were…with her you…" Mohinder said, his head nodding along with the ideas. His mouth was hanging open in a surprised 'oh'.
It was a familiar setting. He was at the alter of a church, with Matt standing beside him, that blissfully happy grin on his face. It was a look that had started to make Mohinder want to vomit, at least at the idea of it being over some random woman, only this time it started with the wedding march instead of Molly coming down the aisle. This time when the doors opened he saw the figure coming down.
It was a woman with a veil covering her face. She was dressed in an outstanding, if not classical, wedding dress. She walked slowly, but not as slowly as Molly had. She made her way up to the alter and flipped the veil back.
Behind the veil was a beautiful face. She had blond hair and blue eyes. Her face was very soft and friendly. She was slender too, with a corset on that put her bosom on display. She looked like any blue-blooded American boy's dream girl.
Matt seemed even happier now that she was standing at the alter with him. He took her hand and they both turned towards the priest.
The priest talked but Mohinder couldn't hear it. Whether it was because even in a dream he didn't know the words, or the fact he couldn't stop staring at Matt, he wasn't sure. That smile, those lips curled up so beautifully, that should be his. He couldn't help but feel that he should be the one making the man smile. He wanted to be that person. He needed to be.
The priest said in a bleak tone, "Does anyone have any reason to oppose this union? If so speak now or forever hold your peace."
"I do," Mohinder found himself saying, and he swung Matt around. "I love you. Stay with me."
Mohinder watched himself from a distance as he kissed Matt square on the lips.
He didn't know if Matt responded well, because he woke himself up. He shot up straight in bed, and was panting softly. He did his best to ignore the arousal that was evident throughout his whole body. Luckily, his panic seemed to dose that flame.
He ran his hand through his bed-head and looked over at the clock. It was only six a.m., on a day when neither of them had work. He should be sleeping right now, but he feared going back to that dream.
Why in the world had he kissed Matt? He'd never once thought about it! Or perhaps he had. Sometimes, late at night, he had thought about running his lips over those soft pouty ones, but he'd never taken stock of it. It was human nature to contemplate sexual intercourse with those you were in close proximity to. He'd brushed it off as chemical reactions. Had it meant something more? Did his obsession with this nightly routine mean something?
He got up, ideas and emotions moving quickly in his head. He double-checked to make sure it was in his native tongue and not English. Matt could hear none of this unless he was certain that this was what he felt. He dressed in baggy pajama pants and a plain white t-shirt before leaving his room.
He went out quietly to the kitchen. He filled a pot of tea and put it on a warming burner. He'd need a lot of tea to sort this out. His life hadn't been this turned upside-down since he'd been told his father had passed away.
Out of nowhere, there was a gentle knock at the door. Mohinder was confused, and a bit anxious as to whom it was. It didn't help his already strained mood. There were very few pleasant people this could possibly be. They really had no friends, especially none that would be coming by at this hour. He grabbed the box-cutter from the counter, and put it into his back pocket. Better safe than sorry, he'd learned over and over again.
He opened the door slowly and looked around it, using it as a sort of shield.
"Can I help you?" he asked stiffly, then relaxed somewhat. It was a woman, but one whom he didn't know. He stepped out from behind the door and forced a smile.
She stared at him, confused, then looked down at the printing paper in her hand.
"Does Matthew Parkman live here?" she asked, spitting out his name as if it were venom.
"Yes. He isn't up yet. Should I tell him you came by?" Mohinder asked.
"No, just give him these," she said, and pushed a jacket along with some knickknacks at him. "It's his coat and the DVD's he left at my house. Give him the message that I never want to see him again."
Mohinder didn't know what to do or say. It wasn't really his place to do either. He just held onto the coat that smelled distinctly like Matt close to him.
"Might I ask who you are?" Mohinder said slowly, but he was starting to get the idea.
"My name's Jill," she said.
Mohinder stared at her, wide-eyed. She was so different from what he'd expected, from how the bride in his dream had looked. She was dark for one thing; she looked like she had some Indian and some Latino blood in her. Her hair was dark and curly, not unlike his own. Her skin was almost a perfect match for his. She had a thin but tall frame, with a small-sized chest. Her face was all angles and sharp, which strongly opposed Matt's own gentle features. She was glaring daggers at him, but he could guess that with a smile on her lips she'd be rather pretty.
He heard the sound of the couch squeaking behind him, and turned around. Matt was standing up slowly, his hair all 'I've slept on the couch again' messy.
"Mohinder, who’s at the door?" he asked.
Jill let out an audible huff. Mohinder turned to look at her, wondering what was going on here. Hadn't they just spent a lovely evening together? Didn't they spend every night together? Weren't they madly in love?
"So you're Mohinder. I guess I can see why he'd call for you," Jill said, giving Mohinder a slow look up and down. She stood on her tiptoes and stared behind him at Matt. "Here's your shit back. Don't fucking call me again."
She turned on her heel and was storming down the hall in an instant.
Mohinder shut the door and looked over at Matt. His brows were drawn together and his lips posed as if having an answered half formed on them.
"What's going on? What did she mean?" Mohinder asked seriously.
"We broke up last night…" Matt explained.
"Why? Why didn't you tell me? Why did you let me fight with you last night over something that was over?" Mohinder asked, not understanding Matt's logic.
"I didn't want to tell you. I was planning to keep going out…"
"What does that accomplish?" he said, than paused, having an after-thought. "What did she mean you called for me? When?"
"The worst possible time," Matt said, turning around and rubbing the back of his neck nervously. He made a show of pretending to make up the couch.
"What are you talking about? Matt, explain to me what you’re not saying."
"I can't. It's damn…it's hard, and it'll mess everything up. I can't risk it. You're right, Molly has to be our first priority," Matt said, his face to the window. He walked over and stood by it as if looking for an escape route.
Mohinder still didn't understand. What could be so damaging that it could break up their family? When could Matt have called for Mohinder that was bad enough for his girlfriend to break up with him? There was only one time when it was really uncalled for. Oh god.
"You called my name out in bed?" he asked, his face blank with surprise. Matt had been thinking about him while he was with his girlfriend? Matt thought of him like that? How had this happened? Then again, wasn't he the one that was dreaming about kissing him on his wedding day?
"I guess I was right. A genius like you could figure it out. I knew I was screwed when she said that," he snickered, and turned his head towards the other man.
"Why did you…do that?" the scientist asked, shock making his well-schooled mind turn to mush.
"God damnit Mohinder. I take it back. You’re not that smart. You still don't understand. Since you'll figure this out anyway, I'll speed up the process. It's like taking off a Band-Aid," he said, and then paused, calming himself down. "You saw her, right? You saw Jill. Did you notice anything?"
"Sure. I mean, of course. She was tall and very pretty, well spoken."
Matt rolled his eyes and said straightforwardly, "She looks like you."
"Well, a little," Mohinder protested.
"Not a little. You saw it. I figured out later that that was the whole reason I started flirting with her in the first place," Matt said, his voice slowly getting softer and softer. His humiliation showed on his face, and his shoulders slumped, all the energy gone from him.
Mohinder moved into the kitchen and pulled the pot of tea off the stove. He put some hot water into a cup and started to make his tea. He needed to calm down. He needed to do something that didn't make his heart feel as if it was about ready to jump out of his chest.
"So you…" Mohinder started, but Matt took up.
"I started to notice things--around the house, mostly. I was reacting to you like…I should a girl. I was noticing how good you looked, more than normal. I guess I was attracted to you. That night, while we were watching TV and I saw you looking, man, I thought maybe you were checking me out. Than that morning you came out looking fucking great in your boxers. I mean…amazing. It made me realize that…I wanted you. It scared the shit out of me…"
Mohinder was starting to put the pieces together. "So when Jill called that morning and asked you out…you said yes."
"Yeah. I'd been flirting with her for a while, but she took the reigns. She wanted to go have coffee, and I was so scared of being into you that I agreed. We had a great date, but it felt so much like friends, not romantic. It wasn't until I kissed her, and couldn't see her face, only her skin and her curls. That was when the chemistry really started.
"So while you were…with her you…" Mohinder said, his head nodding along with the ideas. His mouth was hanging open in a surprised 'oh'.
"That skin was a perfect match. Get her in a dimly lit room and ignore whatever sounds she was making, and it was like having you there. God, I'd kiss her arms and her legs, her back, forever. I was imagining you under my hands, my lips, withering and smiling. She doesn't have as nice teeth as you do, though. Bit of a downer."
That got a chuckle out of both of them, which was a miracle, considering the circumstances.
"Anyway, last night she let me take her…well, you know, from…behind, which made it really easy. It was all strong back, dark skin, and curls. I ignored everything else. Just thought of you, and when it came to…huh…that time…I didn't even realize I'd said it. It wasn't until she slapped me and told me to get the hell out, that I figured it out. Man, she was pissed."
"I don’t doubt it," Mohinder said slowly.
Matt need not have gone into so much detail, but at the same time, Mohinder liked that fact. Hearing Matt talk about such things was better than any dream. He stared at the other man, not sure what to say. He'd never thought of Matt in such a light before.
Matt did grow on you. His humor and his smile were close to his heart. Mohinder had come to find peace in the other man's presence, but was there anything else? Did he want Matt like that?
His eyes went over the man's face and stared at those lips. He was surprised by how quickly his body reacted. He wanted that kiss, like his dream, only better.
He realized now that his dreams hadn't been about Molly. They had been about Matt. He'd been dreaming of losing Matt to a woman who didn't deserve him. He'd been trying to tell himself how much Matt meant to him. His heart was trying to break out of the cold shell it'd been hidden in long ago. Of all the people he'd 'loved,' Matt was the only one that was special enough to make his heart ache so painfully. He needed to know something though.
"So…do you love me, or is it just…lust?" he asked, dreading the answer. It could easily go either way.
Matt's face scrunched up.
"You think I'd go gay for just any model-looking guy that lives in my house and happens to have the most amazing voice in the world?" he said, and forced a smile. "Nah, I think it's the real deal."
"So you'd like to date me?" Mohinder asked. If he kept asking questions, he wouldn’t have to answer any. He wasn't sure what he wanted to tell Matt about his own feelings. He was just so confused.
"I guess…I mean yes. Not that it'd be a good idea. I mean, what if something went wrong? You know how easily we fight-"
Mohinder interrupted him, "And how easily we make up."
"I guess that's true," Matt said, then his face turned red.
Mohinder raised a brow at him, and then realized what Matt was thinking. Make up sex?
"Yup," Matt agreed.
Mohinder's eyes went wide, and he stared at Matt. He'd been thinking in Tamil; he always did. How had Matt figured out what he was saying?
"How did you?" he asked. The scientist in him wanted to study this. Had Matt started translating thoughts too?
"I've been learning it. I guess I'm nosy, but it seemed so unfair. I mean, the one person whose thoughts I actually wanted to hear, I couldn't understand," Matt explained.
"But your," he said, and then paused, not wanting to jump onto the touchy subject too quickly. "Dyslexia."
"Books on tape. I started listening to them in the car, at work while I was filling out paper work. Whenever I could. I mean, it's slow going, but I'm getting it. I'm not sure what you said exactly, but I recognized the word sex, which I had to look up online."
Mohinder suddenly felt vulnerable. He'd been hiding behind the fact that Matt couldn't understand his thoughts for so long. For a brief moment, he understood why Matt's wife had left him. He felt so exposed against this power, yet he trusted Matt. He trusted the other man to read his thoughts. He didn't want to hide a moment of his life from Matt; he didn't feel he needed too.
"You want to read my thoughts?" he asked, not addressing the fact that
"Well, yeah," he said, and sighed. "Lately I've been dying to know what you thought about all this. About, you know, me dating someone. I really tried to imagine that you were jealous or something. Pretty pathetic huh?"
"Not at all," he said in a hushed tone; "because if you had been able to read my mind you would have found out that it's true."
Matt's mouth opened wide but not as wide as his eyes. There was stillness between them and silence as Matt struggled for his voice. The silence was broken by a rather unexpected sound. The television had clicked on and Foster's was playing loudly in the background. Two heads turned in unison and looked over at the couch where Molly was sitting with the controller in hand.
"Molly doll?" Matt said, trying to get his mind out of the Mohinder induced fog.
Mohinder went over and stood beside her. "Honey, how long have you been up?"
She stared up at them in obvious confusion. They must have seemed very panicked.
"About five minutes. I'm ok, guys," she said, looking at each of them in turn. "No more nightmares tonight, I swear. I slept really well."
Mohinder nodded and watched as Matt put on his 'happy because everything is normal’ face.
"So, what do you think we should have for breakfast? Cornflakes or oatmeal?" Matt asked, going into the kitchen.
"Cornflakes!" she said indignantly. "Why did you even ask? That's something you'd ask Mohinder. It'd be like you bringing home real ice cream. It's just not right.”
"You know, Molly, I might just not want you to end up a big cubby pants like me," Matt said, coming up behind her and rubbing her head.
"But you're a cute cubby pants!" she exclaimed and turned to Mohinder. "Aren't I right?"
Mohinder was glad his blush was less noticeable than Matt's because the question made his cheeks go red. He heard Matt's footsteps leading him away from the couch and back to the kitchen, but didn't have the trust in himself to look up.
"I suppose. For a man he's rather good looking," Mohinder said, looking up at Matt, whose back was to them as he poured cereal. The back of his neck gave him away, having turned a bright red; most likely like his face was too.
"No he's cute; you’re good looking," Molly said in a very matter of fact way.
"Oh, and what's the difference?" Mohinder asked. He thought it would be amusing to hear her definitions of the words.
"I don't know if I should tell you…" she said sheepishly.
"Why?"
"They might insult you…Mohinder…" she said, looking down at the floor.
"Oh I promise you they won't," Mohinder said, more curious than ever. "I insist that you tell me."
"Well, good looking is something everyone sees. Everyone thinks someone like you is good looking. You know, good hair, good skin. Like Mary says, movie star looks…”
"I wouldn’t go that far," Mohinder protested.
I would, Matt thought from the kitchen. That made Mohinder blush, and he did his best to keep his attention on Molly.
"Anyway, please go on Molly," he said, giving her a smile. She nodded and then continued.
"Where Matt is cute. People don't think he's good looking at first, but he is when you get used to him. He's really funny and takes good care of his family. He's a real hero," she said firmly, and then added, "That's why I have a crush on Kyle Mortson instead of Brent Spensberg, who everyone likes."
Matt almost dropped the bowl he was holding out to her. She grabbed it to keep it from falling into her lap.
"You have a crush?" Matt asked in a startled tone that resonated Mohinder's own worries.
"Yeah, on Kyle. He's picked on a lot but he's way smarter than everyone. He reads all the time, at like a tenth grade level! He's always saying cool stuff that's really funny, and making faces like Matt does. He's also a little…big around the waist, but that's cute!"
"Oh my god, I made my little girl a cubby chaser!" Matt exclaimed, then put a hand over his mouth.
Molly looked up at him, confused, and asked, "What's a cu-"
"Molly," Mohinder said, louder than needed, causing Molly to turn to look at him. "Both of us are home today. Why don't you invite this Kyle to come over?"
Her eyes went huge and all thoughts of unknown phrases were forgotten.
"You mean it?" she asked excitedly.
"Of course. We'd love to meet him."
"That we would," Matt said, sitting down next to her. She was up like a jolt and going towards her room.
"I have to clean up!" she proclaimed.
"Get dressed while you’re in there!" Mohinder called to her.
"Yeah yeah!" she agreed, and shut her door.
"I thought we had a few more years before she started thinking about the B word," Matt said, rubbing his forehead in frustration.
"It's just a crush. It'll go away."
"Or maybe it's danger and you just don't know," Matt said in a near musical tone.
"What?" Mohinder asked confusedly.
"It's the rest of the line from the song you were quoting."
"I wasn't quoting," Mohinder said.
"Oh," Matt muttered, surprised. "Well, anyway..."
Neither could think of something to say. Mohinder felt the uncomfortable sensation come back. It was tenser in the room, more so than it used to be. It was then that he realized something. He looked over at Matt and realized they were on the couch together again. It'd been a long time since they had been even this close. Mohinder looked down at their legs, side by side: Matt's strong, thick ones, still bare since he was in his boxers, and Mohinder's hidden modestly in loosely fitting pants. Mohinder moved his leg over and let them touch. It didn't take a mind reader to know the message behind the touch.
Their eyes met and the world was comfortably quiet again. It was just the two of them in this crummy little apartment that they called home so easily. Matt gently rubbed his leg up against Mohinder. Mohinder tried to figure out how many times he'd daydreamed about this feeling.
"Is it hot in here?" asked a youthful voice from beside them.
"Pardon?" Mohinder asked, a little dazed.
"Well, you're both red, and sweaty looking, and, you know…panting a little," she explained, a little disgusted and confused. "I thought it must be hot."
Both of them were ashamed of having such a display while Molly was still in the house. At least neither had jumped the other like they had wanted to
"Yeah, it is a little. You know, summer is right around the corner," Matt said, shrugging it off. "You ready for school?"
She nodded. "You going to put pants on and take me?"
"Nope, taking you in my boxers today," Matt said, getting up and going over and grabbing his clothing from his suitcase. Mohinder reminded himself that he should have Matt fully unpack soon. They had been living together too long for him to still have a suitcase. Then again, it wasn't until lately that Mohinder had thought of offering his bedroom dresser.
"Ha ha, Matt. You know I won't let you," she said very firmly. "Boxers are for family time only."
Matt laughed at that and went into the bathroom.
Mohinder drilled Molly about her homework and tests for the day. She'd prepared last night, of course. Still, Mohinder demanded to see the evidence while Matt got ready. Matt came out of the restroom dressed in a pair of sweats and a light blue shirt with a football team logo on the front.
"I don't see how that's an improvement on your boxers," Mohinder commented.
"No bare legs," he said, waving his pant legs with his hands.
Too bad, Mohinder thought at him very loudly and very much in English.
Matt blushed a bright red and held his hand out to Molly.
"Wanna go early?"
"Yeah! I gotta go talk to Kyle. He's going to be so happy. He says he never gets invited to go anywhere after school," she said. She leaned over and kissed Mohinder on the cheek, making him smile. He gave her one in return before she went over to Matt, taking his hand.
"See you later, Mohinder," she said, giving him a wave, as did Matt before leaving.
Mohinder normally would go get ready for work, but he didn't need to today. Instead, he picked up Molly's disregarded cereal and went into the kitchen. He was about to pour the contents of the bowl down the sink when he changed his mind. He turned and went towards the living room window where he could look down at the street. He opened it and sat on the window ledge sideways. His eyes were glued to the bottom of the building near the door. He ate the cereal while he waited. He figured he'd need his strength today.
It only took ten minutes for Matt to come back, but it felt like centuries. Mohinder saw him coming down the street and couldn't help but smile. When Matt was close to the door Mohinder closed his eyes. He focused a thought at the other man.
Look up
Matt‘s head turned up as if he‘d heard the call from above. He squinted and then saw Mohinder. A look of shock crossed his face, then a smile. He waved up at the other man before rushing into the building. Soon there was a key on the lock and then the door opening.
Like a stampeding elephant, Matt raced into the room and charged right at him. He found himself being caught in Matt's arms and the force of it almost knocked him out the window. He felt the bowl fall out of his hand, falling down toward the street. Mohinder hoped that it didn't hit anyone in the head and kill them. Homicide by dropping of a bowl, wouldn’t that look great on his record?
All thoughts, especially those of murdering bowls, were lost to him as Matt's lips found his. He kissed him back, his arms sliding around his neck, mostly to keep from falling. He didn't know if the fear of falling came from the fact that he was half out a window or the fact that he was falling very fast for Matt.
He forced himself to push away from Matt long enough to say,
"Please, pull me in."
To be Continued in...
Part 5 where feelings turn into actions.