(no subject)
Whenever things really matter and I need to write them down, Livejournal is the place I want to turn. Facebook has a much bigger audience, but the last thing I want is to hear a lot of sympathy from people who don't really know me. The last thing I want is people hitting me up on IM to talk about it, because I don't want to talk about it. I want to type what I need to type and then try to bury things down again.
Charlie, our family dog, likely as not has cancer. Mum took him to the vet and he felt a mass in his abdomen. He's almost positive it's a type of aggressive tumour in his spleen. It's very common. He's a vet. He's seen these things before. I know the x-rays they do next week will confirm it. Since it's internal, it spreads very quickly. For that reason, even dogs that have their spleen removed get just 3-6 months. Chemo can extend that out to a year if you're lucky, but it means your dog is going through chemo. So we get ... less than that. Two months? I've barely stopped crying, and typing this has me crying again. Charlie is around 15 ... maybe a little older. So he's been a big part of my life for a lot of years. He visits every Wednesday when my parents come to help with our house. When they go on holidays he stays with me ... often for six weeks at a time. The amount of time he stays with me is roughly all we have left. That blows my mind. It has me crying now, and I can't imagine how many more tears I'll cry when we lose him.
Until he goes we have to keep him calm. He can't get "silly" and run around, because if he does he could have serious internal or external bleeding. That shatters me because some of my favourite memories are of that dog getting excited. He's old, but he'd still decide we needed to be running rather than walking around the neighbourhood. Or he'd start running around my couch, looking over his shoulder, begging me to chase him.
There are no words to express how shattered I feel.
Charlie, our family dog, likely as not has cancer. Mum took him to the vet and he felt a mass in his abdomen. He's almost positive it's a type of aggressive tumour in his spleen. It's very common. He's a vet. He's seen these things before. I know the x-rays they do next week will confirm it. Since it's internal, it spreads very quickly. For that reason, even dogs that have their spleen removed get just 3-6 months. Chemo can extend that out to a year if you're lucky, but it means your dog is going through chemo. So we get ... less than that. Two months? I've barely stopped crying, and typing this has me crying again. Charlie is around 15 ... maybe a little older. So he's been a big part of my life for a lot of years. He visits every Wednesday when my parents come to help with our house. When they go on holidays he stays with me ... often for six weeks at a time. The amount of time he stays with me is roughly all we have left. That blows my mind. It has me crying now, and I can't imagine how many more tears I'll cry when we lose him.
Until he goes we have to keep him calm. He can't get "silly" and run around, because if he does he could have serious internal or external bleeding. That shatters me because some of my favourite memories are of that dog getting excited. He's old, but he'd still decide we needed to be running rather than walking around the neighbourhood. Or he'd start running around my couch, looking over his shoulder, begging me to chase him.
There are no words to express how shattered I feel.