(no subject)
I have realized that some how in the past 4 years I have lost all interest in my interests. Well, not so much lost interest as just no longer do them. And I keep meaning to, but then...I don't. I do nothing. It's boring and sad and makes me into a boring and sad person.
I wish that I was not so tired all the time. It doesn't seem to matter when I go to sleep I wake up exhausted and with a head full of jell-o. At least it's amusing to watch me jiggle.
Em-lee I miss you. :(
So, my date yesterday. Being the person I am, managed to say hardly anything the whole time, which is a shame cus surprisingly I do like him despite my inital misgivings (of course, I always have misgivings) I wish I were not so hopeless at such things. I wish that I didn't feel like there is no reason for anyone to want to date me. I wish I wasn't so scared of actually feeling something.
Okay, you have your little boyfriend now, can you stop making me feel like crap? All these years you've faulted her for saying such hurtful things but at least she was mostly sarcastically joking. Your belittlements are heartfelt. Stop tearing mine out.
Why do I talk to people in here that will never read it? In fact, don't even know that it exsists? Probably cus they don;t know it exsists so it means I'll never have to confront the people who need it the most.
I wish that I was not so tired all the time. It doesn't seem to matter when I go to sleep I wake up exhausted and with a head full of jell-o. At least it's amusing to watch me jiggle.
Em-lee I miss you. :(
So, my date yesterday. Being the person I am, managed to say hardly anything the whole time, which is a shame cus surprisingly I do like him despite my inital misgivings (of course, I always have misgivings) I wish I were not so hopeless at such things. I wish that I didn't feel like there is no reason for anyone to want to date me. I wish I wasn't so scared of actually feeling something.
Okay, you have your little boyfriend now, can you stop making me feel like crap? All these years you've faulted her for saying such hurtful things but at least she was mostly sarcastically joking. Your belittlements are heartfelt. Stop tearing mine out.
Why do I talk to people in here that will never read it? In fact, don't even know that it exsists? Probably cus they don;t know it exsists so it means I'll never have to confront the people who need it the most.