Legend of the Seeker Oneshot 2/7
“You just have to admit that mine’s bigger.”
“You know that the base doesn’t count.”
“In that case yours is just TINY and you know it.”
“I said that base doesn’t count on yours, it’s totally useless. Mine can do the same as the rest of it.”
“Yes, but how can it do it if you’re holding it all the-“
“Stop it you two!” Richard shouted at Kahlan and Cara. “You sound like two men ready to go fetch the rulers in order to see who’s more man instead of two people discussing about their weapons.”
“It takes one to know one.” Cara smirked at Richard. “Tell me, did you keep rulers under your bed Richard? It is one of the Rahls’ hobbies after all.” She continued and Kahlan gasped at this.
“Very funny Ca-“
“Seriously? Darken Rahl did this?” Kahlan interrupted Richard looking shocked; he was evil etc etc, but still, he was a very serious man and this just sounded… childish.
“You know, I really don’t want to hear the rest of this conversation. I’m gonna go feed the horses.” Richard said frowning, and took off.
“Not that he had any need to, but it is something all D’Haran officers and soldiers indulge to, in order to gain respect, so Lord Rahl figured he should humor them.” Cara replied indifferently to Kahlan’s question. Men were always going to find something gross to do and she was used to it by now.
“That is just disgusting.” Kahlan commented, shaking her head. “And to go back to our conversation, my daggers are bigger and more effective in a battle than your agiels.”
Cara snorted and grabbed one of her agiels bringing it closer to Kahlan.
“This beauty can be used in more ways that you can imagine. It can be an instrument of pleasure for those who enjoy a little pain during sex and it can inflict many levels of pain to an enemy; I use it both to train someone to do my bidding and kill anyone that gets too much on my nerves.” She concluded and looked intently directly in kahlan’s eyes trying to make her point; but the Mother Confessor had been through too many battles to feel anywhere near threatened by the seemingly intimidating Mord’Sith, whose icy exterior was just a cover for a more deep emotional world as Kahlan had concluded.
“And this beauty,” Kahlan said as she took one her daggers from her boot, “can kill you in two seconds opposed to all the time the agiel needs in order to kill someone rather than just make him suffer. And I’m sure that those who find pleasure in the agiel’s touch wouldn’t mind getting their pain from this one either.”
“Maybe so, but using the agiel can assure that you have control over who dies or lives to be used. Your daggers or any other weapon for that matter can’t.” Cara said smugly and smiled provocatively at Kahlan, daring her to think of something better.
Kahlan stiffened and Cara thought she finally won the argument; but then the Mother Confessor’s face lit up and Cara saw her mocking expression plastered all over it.
“We are comparing the weapons based on who carries them, right?” Kahlan asked in fake sweetness and Cara furrowed her brows, sensing that Kahlan thought of some smartass answer.
“Yes… Considering my agiels would be useless to any other but me, we compare each weapon taking into account who the carrier is.” She answered cautiously.
“Then if I’m not mistaken, on a battle my daggers can cause death or injury quicker than your agiels and my confessor powers can ensure that I can immediately control someone I want to use as opposed to the training that you would have to do to get the same person to do your bidding.” Kahlan replied, leaving Cara speechless, trying to master a quick reply before she gives Kahlan the satisfaction of victory.
“I’m sorry ladies, but I believe I overpower both your daggers and agiels.” Zedd cut into the conversation, broadly smiling. “My wizard powers make sure I can do whatever I please with my enemies and friends alike.”
“Zedd, you can’t use your powers against me, Kahlan would understand if you were to betray her and she would confess you before you had a chance to make as much as a cherry-sized ball of wizard’s fire and if someone manages to punch you or throw you down it takes a whole more time than you can afford to get back on your feet. You would be a considerable add to this argument if you were younger, but we all know that aging makes your reflexes slower and either of us would have the advantage on you.” Cara said casually, as if she didn’t just offend a Wizard of the First Order.
“Okay carry on, I wouldn’t want to bother you by throwing any cherry-sized balls of wizard’s fire your way when you are too busy irritating people to notice me.” Zedd said and after he threw a frustrated look at the Mord’Sith, he stalked off into the woods.
“That was mean you know.” Kahlan said judgingly to Cara.
“But it was the truth! I don’t understand why he-“Cara begun to protest but Kahlan cut in,
“And we both know Zedd could burn us alive if we were distracted for a single moment in a battle with him.”
“That’s just absurd. Maybe he could burn you, if you were trying to find a way to save Richard, the world and yourself at the same time as usual, but no man, wizard or not could ever get the upper hand in a fight with a Mord’Sith.” Cara said matter-of-factly, giving Kahlan a fake smile.
“It was still mean.” Kahlan replied and got up from the tree trunk she was sitting on; she figured she should go find Zedd before he got lost in the woods.
“She’s right.” Richard said emerging from the trees, “Zedd might not be as strong as he was some decades ago, but he’s still one of our strongest assets.”
“I thought you went to feed the horses?” Cara asked ironically.
“I did, but the water is just behind those trees, so I didn’t exactly need to eavesdrop in order to hear what you were saying.” Richard grinned at Cara, while she stared at him disbelievingly. Somehow everyone was growing witty today and that felt less than reassuring.
“Oh and just so you don’t fight over this, my weapon is the most powerful of all.”
“How is that so?” Cara requested irritated.
“My weapon apart from the obvious fact that it can slice up pretty good and puts my rage to good use, serves a higher purpose. It declares me as the Seeker meaning that the Mother Confessor, the Wizard of the First Order and most of the Midland’s people will fight by my side and even give their lives for my quest. And the fact that Richard Rahl wields it ensures that the mighty Mistress Cara will also fight for me and protect me at all costs. So I have a weapon empowered by the anger I feel for my enemies, the Mother Confessor, a Wizard of the First Order, one of the strongest Mord’Sith and hundrends of plain people helping me. I think that beats a set of daggers or agiels. People always make the better weapons.” Richard finally finished, leaving both women staring at him, their mouths half-open. The only thing Cara managed to mumble made Richard unsure at whether he felt it was a compliment or an offence.
“Spoken like the true Lord Rahl.”
“You know that the base doesn’t count.”
“In that case yours is just TINY and you know it.”
“I said that base doesn’t count on yours, it’s totally useless. Mine can do the same as the rest of it.”
“Yes, but how can it do it if you’re holding it all the-“
“Stop it you two!” Richard shouted at Kahlan and Cara. “You sound like two men ready to go fetch the rulers in order to see who’s more man instead of two people discussing about their weapons.”
“It takes one to know one.” Cara smirked at Richard. “Tell me, did you keep rulers under your bed Richard? It is one of the Rahls’ hobbies after all.” She continued and Kahlan gasped at this.
“Very funny Ca-“
“Seriously? Darken Rahl did this?” Kahlan interrupted Richard looking shocked; he was evil etc etc, but still, he was a very serious man and this just sounded… childish.
“You know, I really don’t want to hear the rest of this conversation. I’m gonna go feed the horses.” Richard said frowning, and took off.
“Not that he had any need to, but it is something all D’Haran officers and soldiers indulge to, in order to gain respect, so Lord Rahl figured he should humor them.” Cara replied indifferently to Kahlan’s question. Men were always going to find something gross to do and she was used to it by now.
“That is just disgusting.” Kahlan commented, shaking her head. “And to go back to our conversation, my daggers are bigger and more effective in a battle than your agiels.”
Cara snorted and grabbed one of her agiels bringing it closer to Kahlan.
“This beauty can be used in more ways that you can imagine. It can be an instrument of pleasure for those who enjoy a little pain during sex and it can inflict many levels of pain to an enemy; I use it both to train someone to do my bidding and kill anyone that gets too much on my nerves.” She concluded and looked intently directly in kahlan’s eyes trying to make her point; but the Mother Confessor had been through too many battles to feel anywhere near threatened by the seemingly intimidating Mord’Sith, whose icy exterior was just a cover for a more deep emotional world as Kahlan had concluded.
“And this beauty,” Kahlan said as she took one her daggers from her boot, “can kill you in two seconds opposed to all the time the agiel needs in order to kill someone rather than just make him suffer. And I’m sure that those who find pleasure in the agiel’s touch wouldn’t mind getting their pain from this one either.”
“Maybe so, but using the agiel can assure that you have control over who dies or lives to be used. Your daggers or any other weapon for that matter can’t.” Cara said smugly and smiled provocatively at Kahlan, daring her to think of something better.
Kahlan stiffened and Cara thought she finally won the argument; but then the Mother Confessor’s face lit up and Cara saw her mocking expression plastered all over it.
“We are comparing the weapons based on who carries them, right?” Kahlan asked in fake sweetness and Cara furrowed her brows, sensing that Kahlan thought of some smartass answer.
“Yes… Considering my agiels would be useless to any other but me, we compare each weapon taking into account who the carrier is.” She answered cautiously.
“Then if I’m not mistaken, on a battle my daggers can cause death or injury quicker than your agiels and my confessor powers can ensure that I can immediately control someone I want to use as opposed to the training that you would have to do to get the same person to do your bidding.” Kahlan replied, leaving Cara speechless, trying to master a quick reply before she gives Kahlan the satisfaction of victory.
“I’m sorry ladies, but I believe I overpower both your daggers and agiels.” Zedd cut into the conversation, broadly smiling. “My wizard powers make sure I can do whatever I please with my enemies and friends alike.”
“Zedd, you can’t use your powers against me, Kahlan would understand if you were to betray her and she would confess you before you had a chance to make as much as a cherry-sized ball of wizard’s fire and if someone manages to punch you or throw you down it takes a whole more time than you can afford to get back on your feet. You would be a considerable add to this argument if you were younger, but we all know that aging makes your reflexes slower and either of us would have the advantage on you.” Cara said casually, as if she didn’t just offend a Wizard of the First Order.
“Okay carry on, I wouldn’t want to bother you by throwing any cherry-sized balls of wizard’s fire your way when you are too busy irritating people to notice me.” Zedd said and after he threw a frustrated look at the Mord’Sith, he stalked off into the woods.
“That was mean you know.” Kahlan said judgingly to Cara.
“But it was the truth! I don’t understand why he-“Cara begun to protest but Kahlan cut in,
“And we both know Zedd could burn us alive if we were distracted for a single moment in a battle with him.”
“That’s just absurd. Maybe he could burn you, if you were trying to find a way to save Richard, the world and yourself at the same time as usual, but no man, wizard or not could ever get the upper hand in a fight with a Mord’Sith.” Cara said matter-of-factly, giving Kahlan a fake smile.
“It was still mean.” Kahlan replied and got up from the tree trunk she was sitting on; she figured she should go find Zedd before he got lost in the woods.
“She’s right.” Richard said emerging from the trees, “Zedd might not be as strong as he was some decades ago, but he’s still one of our strongest assets.”
“I thought you went to feed the horses?” Cara asked ironically.
“I did, but the water is just behind those trees, so I didn’t exactly need to eavesdrop in order to hear what you were saying.” Richard grinned at Cara, while she stared at him disbelievingly. Somehow everyone was growing witty today and that felt less than reassuring.
“Oh and just so you don’t fight over this, my weapon is the most powerful of all.”
“How is that so?” Cara requested irritated.
“My weapon apart from the obvious fact that it can slice up pretty good and puts my rage to good use, serves a higher purpose. It declares me as the Seeker meaning that the Mother Confessor, the Wizard of the First Order and most of the Midland’s people will fight by my side and even give their lives for my quest. And the fact that Richard Rahl wields it ensures that the mighty Mistress Cara will also fight for me and protect me at all costs. So I have a weapon empowered by the anger I feel for my enemies, the Mother Confessor, a Wizard of the First Order, one of the strongest Mord’Sith and hundrends of plain people helping me. I think that beats a set of daggers or agiels. People always make the better weapons.” Richard finally finished, leaving both women staring at him, their mouths half-open. The only thing Cara managed to mumble made Richard unsure at whether he felt it was a compliment or an offence.
“Spoken like the true Lord Rahl.”