i dont want to be an emotional monster...
the weekend is over for me. yes, just like that.
i wished it lasted longer. i need to breathe. i need to be understood. i need to be happy for a while. i dont have weekend in my dictionary.
this emptiness within me can't be described. i feel choked up and sometimes, there's nothing that i really want to do about it because it will only lead to more friction and this i fear. sometimes i ask myself if i just lack perserverance. or is it just school draining me out emotionally and mentally as well: leading to emotional outrage. even hx could see me overwhelmed with emotions towards people around me and this is not a good sign. what is becoming of me. i am just so very frustrated with everything (big or small) that seem misfitting in my eyes lately. i can't take things lying down without attempting to make it perfect, being anal and very particular down to details.
am i just being myself all along: being a perfectionist, & im just starting to lose patience with imperfections ... or, have i lost the patience with you, with me, or maybe, with us. is this compromise or is this tolerance. if its the latter, it cant go far.. i dont know. or am i just filled with so much anger and suppressed pressure within me from school and everywhere that i can only release/vent/express it through the people closest to my heart, and people take it offensively and personally..
have i done wrong?
everything seems to be going downhill and i seek and yearn to be listened to, be loved. once again...
its monday. and i need to wake up to this fact, again.